21 Dec, 2021#176 How To Think Your Way To Success
“If you don’t like how things are, change it. You are not a tree.” – Jim Rohn
Change is terrifying because it deals with unknowns. It often requires us to reflect and face our insecurities. But how are you really? Are you satisfied with where you are right now?
I believe that we don’t get what we want, we get who we are. And when most of the world is just drifting away, will you just follow suit or are you willing to be a rebel with a cause, a part of a movement that makes a difference to this world?
In this episode, listen as I talk about how you can start thinking about your way to success in these three aspects of your life:
-health and energy
-work, wealth, and service
Some important stories in this episode:
- (11:10) (The) greatest lesson that my mother showed me led to my discovery of a solution to weight loss.
- (16:13) Martin Seligman’s Strength and Character Finder assessment made me realize that I needed to work on my self-control.
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This program is designed to:
-help you think greater than how you feel
-help you apply accountability
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About Pete Cohen:
Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.
Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –
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Pete Cohen 0:00
Happy beautiful day. It's Pete Cohen it is. Yes it is. It's the Mi365 podcast. today's podcast is called, How To Think Your Way To Success. It's not even possible. I'll see you after the theme tune.
Unknown Speaker 0:46
Let's get ready to rumble.
Pete Cohen 0:49
Happy beautiful day. Welcome to the podcast super fired up to be here with you wherever you are in the world. I'm here to serve. I'm here to share. And you know what we've only just got started we're talking about how to think our ways to success but I also want to talk about a few other elements. I want to talk about grit. I've got some grit and I want to talk about resilience. But you know, one of the things I want to talk about first and foremost is behind thinking you know, because I think you've got someone else, you know, I think you've got
Unknown Speaker 1:26
it's been a long time
Pete Cohen 1:29
I think you've got So
Unknown Speaker 1:30
step two, they go how many weeks shows.
Pete Cohen 1:33
So what are you what do you reckon you got? reckon you got soul? You reckon you got a spirit miss the boss on the microphone solo? What do you reckon? I don't know because I'm not used to hear it. pump up the volume. I remember when this song came out probably in about 1986 all over the world you know just absolutely blew my mind. I felt something so simple like a
Unknown Speaker 1:57
rigid reflex I
Pete Cohen 1:59
can see behind every human being. There's I think there's something else I think there's something else behind the scenes. What do you reckon? Something that is indescribable, that's bigger than your mind bigger than you
Unknown Speaker 2:13
thought the thing that they're not saying. So have you got sold out was when I'm writing I'm trapped in between the lines when I got sold sold sold
Pete Cohen 2:33
Yeah, I know. I know you've got so when we think about thinking the most important thing I believe about the whole thing is to be able to step back and observe what the hell is going on. You know, I think if we did more of that every single day, you know, Marvin Gaye was talking about that. He said, You know what's going on? When you listen to that song he's talking about, hey, do you actually know what's going on here? And I think a lot of people don't really want to know, you know, things have happened in the world and people thought that's a bit of a surprise. Like with the whole Black Lives Matter thing. I think a lot of people around the world go oh, that's a bit of a surprise. When really Was it any surprise at all? No, because it was bubbling up. For years. It's been bubbling up for such a long time. But it's like what's really really going on what's going on behind the scenes. And that I think is just an essential element of life to kind of take responsibility. But if you go if you really wake up and you want to see the world and I'm not here to tell anyone how they should see the world because it really is up to you. As Einstein said. Reality doesn't exist in the outside world, right? That's what he said. He said reality exists in your own mind how you see the world. But for me how you see the world is how you see yourself personally how I see myself and for years I saw myself completely differently to how I see myself now. I saw myself for years if I'm not this, I'm not that I'm not good enough. I had loads of evidence of that as well. I was trying to fit into a world which was kind of almost forcing that upon all of us to think we're not good enough. And in order to be good enough, this is what we have to do. This is what we have to know. This is who we have to become. You've got to learn this. You've got to get this you've got to become this and then a lot of people get that and then they think is this all there is is this all there is there must be something missing? Well, partly what was missing is you didn't really necessarily have the choice in that. We were kind of we kind of had a choice but the choice you made was the choice that maybe was expected of you the choice that you thought was the right choice. To fit in, rather than waking up to really, really, who am I right now you see personally, this is how I look at the world. As someone who spent his life looking at the world and looking at himself. You don't get what you want. You know, I honestly believe in life, you don't get what you want. You get who you are. And who are you? I mean seriously, who are you? Who are you being? And maybe that's just not important. I mean, it'd be funny asking a three or four year old that question who are you? They probably get on me. Yeah, and I'm happy you know, because all he knows really pretty much is himself. But as we get older, we just kind of conform right? We conform to what we conform to being like everybody else. And how is everybody else? How is everybody? Hey, hey, hi everyone. How are you? How many people are feeling a bit lost? How many people are feeling a bit confused? How many people are living in fear right now? I mean, come on. Our world has been turned upside down and inside out over and over and over again. And I think it's it will continue to do that. I think ultimately, we have a choice. Right? This is the thing that I loved when Jim Rohn said you know we're not a tree. You know, we are we're the only animals as far as we know that have this beautiful ability to choice to choose. Right? We have an ability to choose and I don't know about you, if you want to be
Pete Cohen 6:01
if you want to be another if you want to be another brick if you want to be a brick in someone else's wall. That's fine. I don't want to be all of that has been torn down. There's millions of people all over the world right now. You know, the big whatever it is the big walk away. People are saying I don't want to work for the man anymore. You know, I want to do my own thing. And it's funny because yesterday I was talking to some people about and this is so important. You ready for this? Come on. Hey teacher. I remember singing this at school. 1984 I think all three teacher leave us alone. And I became a rebel but the thing is, I was a rebel without a cause. And I believe and this is what I'm looking for. I'm looking for people who want to be a rebel with a cause a rebel with a cause. And for me the cause is about individuals growing, contributing. And that just yeah making a difference in this world playing a bigger game. And if that's what you want to do, then think about you don't get what you want. You get who you are. I'd say actually you get who you're becoming. Okay, let's be really honest here. Who are you becoming? What I see with most people and you know, as someone who's just incredibly curious creature is icier. Okay, who are you? Now let me see if I could fast forward a year and see who you were in a year. I put money on the fact that you would be a very similar to who you are right now. I just see, well, you're almost the same. In fact, you're just a bit older a bit more. unhealthy and possibly a little bit more happy, unhappy or possibly with a little less money. Because that's what you know, and humans tend to do what they know. I say this all the time. If you want to think your way to success. The first step is definitely waking up to the way that you are right now. And don't judge it don't if you want to judge it. That's fine. If you want shame and guilt, that that to me is not the answer. It's just to have this wonderful curious nature to be curious about the experience of being you just to be curious about it. And then really start to think about well, what are the possibilities that exist? You know, who could you actually become? What have you got in the basement?
Pete Cohen 8:21
You know, what is it in the world that is worth fighting for? Again, this is the great thing, why we're alive, why we're breathing. We have the opportunity to go okay, I've been playing this for this role in this film. One of my clients who I've been coaching we've been talking about, she's going and she's used to be an actress, and we've been talking about going into the next scene of her life. She's done the scene one scene to scene three now it's time for scene for you know, like Rocky for and I suppose what we're working on is Well, who do you want to be? Who is this person forget why? You know why is overrated. It's who Who do you want to be you know, what is that person? Why would you want to be that person? How does that person move through the world?
Pete Cohen 9:15
Because maybe now is the time when you look at these films and you see you know, the actors and you think wow, look at him, he's the hero on the hero's journey. So you you're only watching these films because you identify with the characters in some way, shape or form. You see elements of them in you otherwise you just turn off. When did you when did you last see a film and you didn't identify with any of the characters? You probably just turn it off unless you're the sort of person which is very rare. When you start something, you have to finish it. Very few people do that 98% of the people around the world are just drifting. They're just drifting and if that's what they want to do, it's fine. What do I get that number from? Well, you know, is it a reliable source? Well, 97.3% of Americans are unhealthy by for basic measures. It's not just America, as you know, it's pretty much everywhere. Most people are just drifting. They just drift in giving up their most important assets, their health, giving up their attention, or becoming addicted to certain things that really consume consumers. Whether that's food, alcohol, sex, drugs, whatever it is social media, scrolling, I mean, these things are all designed to take your attention away from long. I don't know that I think that they they've got a hidden agenda. Of course they are. They want you to consume what they're giving you and they'll keep giving it to you. It's ultimately this it all boils down to this question for me how to think your way to success or work out what's what is success? What would what would be your greatest achievement. Would your greatest achievement be would it I'm just curious would it be the person that you become? Just before you know, you take your last breath in I remember seeing my mum's last breath holding her hand and just seeing that last breath and then all of a sudden there was one more and that was it. She was gone. Her soul when but it stays with me. What she gave to me is I want to do something with that. You know what she gave to me? You know, what she gave to me is one of the greatest lessons is there's an answer to everything. There is an answer. And if my mom hadn't shared that with me, I would not be the person I am today. My wife would be dead. There's no question about that. If she hadn't if she hadn't shown me. This is the thing. She didn't even tell me. She told me. She never told me actually She just showed me from a very early age. She showed me she went first. I watched my mom trying to lose weight for years. I watched her going off the diet after diet after diet and I was thinking what and she used to collect all these gizmos and gadgets. And I used to watch I used to see I get on the scales and think what is she doing? And then she'd be happy because you know what the scale said or unhappy? I didn't understand what was going on. But I decided to find a solution to that which ended up making me while I sold a company for tooth out in 2003 for 2.4 million because to a medical insurance company because I'd found what I believe to be a solution to the problem of weight loss, which was ultimately how people were thinking and helping people take responsibility for what they were doing rather than going on a diet where someone is telling them what to do. Now, that's not the solution for everybody. But ultimately what's going to be the solution for you isn't going to be that someone tells you what to do. Maybe there's some important elements. If you really want to think your way to success. Get yourself around a gritty community. Get yourself around people that support you. Get yourself around people who have got your back. You know, this is why we are launching the stock one stock one challenge, you know this year or the year of 2021 has been it's been a great year. We launched a program in January we had 7000 People go through that program. It's free. We've had about 3.5% people complete the program has massively changed many, many people's lives. The program didn't change their life. They changed their life. Because the program is all about becoming who do you want to become who do you want to become in the big three which is what we call I think most people are interested in improvement in three places in their life, three areas, their health and energy, their relationships with others themselves, and their work, their wealth and their service. The three areas who do you want to be in those areas? I've said it before I'll say it again if an athlete came to work with me, of which I've worked with many world champions and Olympic medalists, gold medalists, I'd ask them the question, what do you want? And they would tell me, and if we could define it, it would mostly revolve around winning. And I'd say Well who is that person? That's one because that person ain't new.
Pete Cohen 13:47
Otherwise you wouldn't be here saying you've come to me because you've got a problem. You've not come to me because you want to win. Very, very few athletes have ever come to me, because I just want to get better. I could count them on one hand. They've all come to me. And then what's interesting that working with Tim Henman, in 1998, he got to the semi final of Wimbledon never saw him again after that. That was the best he ever did. And that's I could have so many athletes that have done that. But there's just a few just a few the Michael Jordan's of the of this world you know these few that just literally they just want to see how much better they can get. But for me life is a competitive event. And I think we are competing every day with our health, you know, to do it or to not do it. I think we're competing to be good in our relationships. I think we're competing, definitely in the workplace. But I think the biggest competition is a competition within how do you change that competition? How do you change it? How do you put the odds back in your favor? You got to decide who you want to be. You don't have to you can do what you want. Isn't that the most amazing thing? You can absolutely do whatever you want. It's up to you. It's your life.
Unknown Speaker 14:54
It's your club, Go show this show.
Pete Cohen 15:01
Because is Shiva. And you know, you know, it's your birthday today and it's your birth right? Basically to become that that's what it is. And I'm not saying it's the easiest thing to do. In fact, if you decide to go after a future self, you better be prepared. For opposition. The opposition is coming right? Where's the opposition coming from? It can come from other people, often people go what are you doing that fell? Why am meditating? Why? Why are you doing yoga? What's the point of that? You know, that's not you. This is who you are. Just carry on being you. Okay, that you can get that resistance from other people. I've seen that you know, and often people not like people changing because it kind of reminds them while they think that that person might get better than leave them or they think that I should be doing that while exercising every day. You know I don't know about you, but I've got this wonderful challenge going on right now. So I used to say to a lot of people, you know, I'm a chocoholic. You know, don't have chocolate anywhere near me in that if it's in the house, hide it and then one of one of my greatest people I've known of all the people I've worked with a guy called James Peters. There's an amazing questionnaire that you can do. There's this amazing assessment you can do. It's the called the strength and character finder. It was designed by Martin Seligman who is really the godfather of popular modern psychology. And it's all about virtues. I'm a massive fan. of virtues right? The key virtues it doesn't matter what religion you are, what philosophy they all come down to a 456 things. They are courage, justice, self control, which is temperance, wisdom, curiosity, zest, hope, optimism, these these virtues that if we can practice being virtuous every single day, and I think it takes courage to stand up for yourself and stand up for the rights of others. I think it takes courage to to use wisdom, but self control is really where it's at. And this assessment, which I've done a few times with lots of people because I don't like personality testing. I really I'm not particularly interested in it. I think most of it's just rubbish, based on pseudo science that your personality isn't who you are. You know, it's the traits you have personality traits, but your personality is who you are choosing to become. That's the personality I'm carving out into this world. Some people need help with that. Some people need to overcome things in themselves. This is just my opinion. You don't have to take that to the doctor. But I've always had issues with self control. Yet. Yet. That's probably one of the most important virtues of any human being. So I always used to say, just don't have it in the house. Or you know, I'm addicted to sugar. I don't say that anymore. Because a James Peters who went through the assessment when you go through it, you can see where self control sits out of 24. So it's like a score, and his score was three. And I was going what, three, which means you've got really good self control. Mine was 24. So I thought, You know what, I'm adding this. He's inspired me to go one better. I'm actually holding a bar of chocolate in my hand right now. And I've actually asked my father in law, he said, What do you want for Christmas? I said, I want a massive Toblerone. And he said, why you're not eating chocolate? I said, No. I just want to carry the total around around with me. You know, because I just want to get better. Personally. What about you? Who is it that you want to be this is what we're this is what we're doing with people. Right? And if you want to be a part of this you can be a part of it. You really can't. Because the way to change I think is that you don't get what you want. You get who you are, who are you? What are the results that you're producing in your life right now? Just look at it objectively, you know, just look at it like an accountant or scientist you know how I hate how is your health right now? You know, on a scale of one to 10 How are your relationships? How's your relationship with yourself? You can judge it you can shame yourself. You can feel guilty about it, but don't you? You're amazing, right? You've done the best that you can to get to this point, but now you're at a point where well where do you want to go now?
Pete Cohen 19:13
How you with your wealth and your work and your service isn't the greatest thing just to look at this. You don't have to hide this stuff to the world. But with that information, we can do something. And just imagine if you wake up one day and you think that there's nothing to do in Japan. You know, one of the reasons there's a place in Japan called Okinawa, where there's got a very people die at a very old age. And one of the reasons that is being suggested is they have something called an achy guy, which is basically their reason for getting up every day. And my reason for getting up every day personally, is to become the person that I want to be with the three different areas of my life with my health, my my energy, my relationships with my health. It's about world class athlete. That's me. I want to be a world class athlete. That's me. It doesn't have to be you. That's why I've already trained today coming back from a serious injury. I want to be fitter and stronger than ever world class athlete. What are the virtues that I embody? Discipline, focus, confidence, with my relationships. It's a perfect soulmate, even though there's no such thing as a perfect but I strive to be. There's always work to be done there. And then with my work, it's Mr. inspirator. You know how I've written a book called inspirated. And again, this is what I'm carving out every day and for a lot of people this might just seem boring to them and they don't want to do that which is fine. It's absolutely fine. It's really none of my business is like people that join a gym. There are just some people, there's nothing you can do. They're not coming, you know, but then there are all these people in the middle that you know, just with a little bit of help and support. They could go to a place they've not gone before. And then of course there are the people that are already serious, seriously, already achieving great things, but they just want to go to the next they want to go to the next level. You know, they really really you know what they want to be, you know what they want to be, they know what they want to be they do you know the word you know what the word is? Don't you?
Pete Cohen 21:27
Want to be dangerous. Basically they want to touch things and make a difference. I believe that's what everybody wants. I might be wrong. I might be totally wrong, but that's the way I choose to move through the world. And that is why we're launching to start one stop one challenge. That program is specifically about helping people install the habits of success using willpower wisely to install the habits of success that run on autopilot. That's the goal to get people beyond the honeymoon period. Now check this out. Please if this is the only thing that you hear me say listen to this for 1000s of years, people have known that human beings start things and do not finish them. That is why in Sanskrit one of the one of the first, the first written words there is a word that means hero in the beginning. You know this has been known since the beginning of man I believe even the story in the Bible of Adam and Eve Do not you know don't eat fruit from the bitten tree. Even in the Lord's Prayer lead us not into temptation, the temptation of war, the temptation to give into temptation to be tempted rather than suicide. This is this is what's important to me. This is who I want to become, but to pay the price because the price is going to be temptation. You're going to fall down. What is the world asking of you? What are you asking of yourself? What is the future you asking of you right now? Again, you might not want to hear this and that's fine. You don't have to hear this. You can turn this off. You can go away. Or you can wake up to the fact that you lose sight of God something into Boozman something to give it ain't over yet Napoleon Hill said this or the one of the biggest issues that people have is when they get into their 40s 50s and 60s, they seem to think it's over. Rather than thinking these should be the best years of your life, the best years of your life. Because you worked hard to get to this point, and you've overcome a lot to get to this point. What's next. And with this challenge, which we're which we're launching, we're working on it right now. We're filming it right now. And I'm so excited about it. Because it's the best it's the best thing I've ever put together. It has to be right. Because I'm taking all of the knowledge of what I've put what I've done before I'm putting it into this. What are you going to get? You're going to get access to a whole load of master classes that specifically help you use willpower wisely to install the habits of success that run on autopilot as you work out. What's your kryptonite? What is it that is stopping you from moving forwards? And what is it that you need to start doing that if you go beyond the honeymoon period, and you do it for an extended period of time, then all of a sudden?
Pete Cohen 24:34
Even Superman that kryptonite you know, just Lex Luthor was a clever man who went round to his house and when Batman wasn't there, and he just sprinkled kryptonite dust everywhere so Batman couldn't see it. But you know what, over time that ran Batman down. He didn't realize what was going on. You know, he just I'm a bit tired. I've got a bit of an ache in my back. You know, I'm superman but you know what he just carried on and said eventually couldn't do what he was doing before. And that might be just you. I think we often just don't realize the little things that we're doing or don't right That's okay. I'll do No, no don't want to do that tomorrow. Being healthy being happier being more fulfilled is everyone's birthright. And it's not always easy. To do, but I believe that you can do it you know?
Pete Cohen 25:27
So are you ready to become the hero this was definitely my favorite favorite program growing up. You see all a hero is is a protector. That's what a hero is. That's what the word means. It comes from the Greek word heroes and that's what a hero is someone who wants to protect and you might want to protect others but the best way to protect others is to I believe is to protect you become the person that you want to be I think I've kind of made that point. The question is who are you listening to externally but also internally, why do I have a duck on my head? You might be asking, well, the duck is just the part of me that wants me to stay put wants me to stay where I am. But you know what? I am seriously laughing at my duck I've learned how not to take him too seriously. You know, I've seen the funny side of me because my mind plays tricks on me.
Unknown Speaker 26:25
Let's get ready to rumble.
Pete Cohen 26:28
Just played a trick on me now for what was going on. I didn't even realize I'd press that button. But there you go. We are who we are choosing to become right now. Who are you choosing to become what would it be like if you chose to become something better? Because if you do, I'd love to help you. You can pre register for the start one step one challenge launching on the 10th of January. It's going to be epic. We're going to have a whole group of people who are doing the work. Seriously people though are becoming what I wouldn't know in becoming their warriors, their spot and athletes. They're monks, they're philosophers. They choose a character to play. We aren't we aren't we give them an arsenal of weapons of things that they can do as they go and fight. You know. So just go and fight for whatever they want to fight for. I really don't know because ultimately, it's it's really really up to you, isn't it? It's all up to you.
Pete Cohen 27:36
To remembers when this song came out, I think 1985 86 Mom, you're just jealous. It's the Beastie Boys. Absolutely you know what you got to fight for? No
Pete Cohen 28:03
no homework who wants to fight for their rights
Unknown Speaker 28:14
you gotta find for your ride
Pete Cohen 28:20
you know and this is the last thing I'm going to say on this you know, it's for me it was partying. That's what that's what I did. I was a rebel. He wanted to party just party, but I have enough of partying. I'm a rebel with a cause. Right? I have a cause the cause is common humanity. The cause is helping people change their identity become just to transform themselves to become someone when they can look in the mirror. They look at the person and they go you are the person I want to follow. That's what my mission is all about. If you want to get involved with what we're doing, just seriously get with us on this challenge. It will be absolutely epic. Thank you you too recognize
Unknown Speaker 29:05
your talents, your gifts. The mark that you want to leave on this is you go to places that maybe you've not been before. You see leaders know the importance of getting uncomfortable