10 Feb, 2022#192 Try This for 30 Days and Watch Your Life Change
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde
Are you frustrated with your life? Is this life you are living right now not exactly how you wanted it to be?
A lot of us would kill for an opportunity to just start over, to have a clean slate. But what if I tell you that change doesn’t always have to root from pain and discomfort? What if there’s a way to start working on yourself and be able to connect with who you really want to become?
In this episode, listen as I talk about the 30-Day Program and how it can help you start taking charge and redesign your life.
✅ Have a compelling relationship with where you are going. Never stop chasing yourself.
✅ You have the power to change your life. You can create a better you.
Some important stories in the episode:
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About Pete Cohen:
Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.
Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –
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Pete Cohen 0:00
It's Pete Cohen, welcome to the Mi365 podcast. This podcast is called Try This for 30 Days and Watch Your Life Change. I'll see you after the theme tune.
Pete Cohen 0:36
Hello there. Let's get ready to rumble. Oh, fascinating times of the year. I'm just ready, who's ready ready for what ready for the future? Because we're going to go and do some time traveling now. I am going to challenge you to think about the next 30 days of your life and think about the possibilities that exist in your potential to create something and what could you do in 30 days? What has anyone done in I'm trying to think of all the things I've ever done, what is the most amazing thing I've ever done? That I did it in 30 days, I think was probably the 30 day program that we created. That was pretty epic. Have I written a book in 30 days I've written 20 I'm trying to think that I'd probably No, I don't think I've ever written a book in 30 days. Writing a book is not something so fascinating. I often agreed to do it. And then I just remember all of the times I've done it in the past and with all the challenges that we've had along the way. I actually remember writing a book for Harper Collins and we'd spent three months working on the book and that one of the people was on maternity leave. So when we came back and showed what we done, the new person basically said no I don't like it. We had to start again. And I remember going home and just thinking, oh my god, what am I going to do? And I almost felt like giving up but I didn't I heard that you know the chorus of you know, you got to do this. And I'm so fascinated by what drives human behavior. So listen, this is my challenge to you. If you're up for a challenge, you're up for a challenge. This is the challenge. I want you to imagine that you have been given a script and the script is a film and you have to learn your lines but not just learn your That sounds terrible, doesn't it? Learn your lines, you have to become the character. You have to become the character that you're going to play now. In my work in working in performance. Yeah, you know what I've worked with athletes I've worked with so many people have actually worked with quite a lot of actors. And I'm always really curious about actors processes about how they become the parts that they play. You know, how do they do that? Have you ever watched a film and literally you forget that you're watching an actor you actually think you're watching the character that the person is playing and think old country for out No Country for Old Men? I don't know whether you remember that film, but the the guy that plays the baddie and that film, I mean, wow, he's a great actor. By the way, he plays the baddie also in one of the Bond films as well, but I really felt like that that guy was alive if he came and knocked on my door, I would literally run away, because he was so much the part that he was playing. You know, if Daniel Craig came round to your house, would you want to say think, oh, it's James Bond, or would you actually think, oh, it's Daniel Craig. You probably have to take a little bit of time to take that idea out of your head because you've already formulated an idea of who that person actually is. You know, if Christian Bale came around dressed up as Batman, would you think oh, it's back Batman's here, everyone. Hey, listen, Batman is at the Batman. Come in. Come on in. It's amazing. You know, and I know so many of you. You know, you've heard it before. So many times in this room, the Matthew magani his acceptance speech when he talks about, you know, who his hero is, you know, and he talks about that says hero, and you know, it's fascinating because what what we all have the opportunity to do is to have a relationship with where we're going, but most people don't do that. And there was a couple of things that have happened recently that have really, really changed the way I look at things. So this is what what,
Unknown Speaker 4:19
my hero, that's who I chase. Now, when I was 15 years old, at a very important person in my life come to me and say, who's your hero? And I said, I'm not gonna think about that. Give me a couple of weeks. I come back two weeks later, this person comes up says, who's your hero? I said, I thought about it. You know it is I said, it's me in 10 years. So I turned 2510 years later, that same person comes bingo. So you're a hero. And I was like, not even close. No, no, she said why? I said because my heroes me at 35. So you see every day every week every month and every year my life my heroes always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna pain that I know. I'm not and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on Chase.
Pete Cohen 5:01
You know, so I've played this so many times and so many podcasts, but you know, this is the role this is not Mission Impossible. I'm asking you for the next 30 days to do your best. You know, this is preparation. Right. So we're going into rehearsals. We're going into rehearsals for the next 30 days, right, who's up for that? You're up for it. Fantastic. So what do you got to do is decide who is the person that you you're going to play? But before we kind of dive into that, I think it's really important just to kind of share some of some, you know, some of this that most people do not have a particularly good relationship to their future self. Most people would rather do something today to get something out of today rather than investing in their future right. That's why so many people don't preparing for their retirement you know, saving for your retirement does that sound attractive rather than get rich quick? I'll relation think about it. You know, it's only it's a kind of a, it's fairly a new concept of, because now we live a lot longer. Unfortunately, most of us for the last maybe 10 years of our life we don't live particularly well because of how we're living today. But for most people, they don't think about the future. You know, or when they do they quite quickly forget about it. So the concept of having a relationship to the future. It's something fairly new. But when we look at what's driving human behavior, you know, for years, psychologists have said, you know, people are driven by wanting to avoid pain and gain pleasure. While I would actually say well, some of the newer research actually says what it's more about pain, you know, if you're in pain, if you're feeling something and think about right now, how many human beings around the world are suffering when they don't necessarily need to. Their suffering is a symptom of living in this modern world. Maybe they're suffering from anxiety or depression, or loneliness or fear or worry or doubt that when we feel that pain, we feel that pain in the body, which then drives people to not start, I'm going to invest in my future. They immediately most people want to get out of that pain.
Pete Cohen 7:05
It's fascinating, right? So then they'll go and behave in a way that will often give them something in the moment but most of us know that you know, sex, drugs and rock and roll, alcohol, food, social media, just scrolling away just to alleviate the pain. And what I'd like you to consider is that, that you and I want to help you have a bond with your future self and this is what I want you to think about for the next 30 days of your life is forming a bond with your future self now, most people don't particularly become aware of their mortality until something really bad happens. But I used to love watching Doctor Who right so Doctor Who, for those of you that don't know he's not a real doctor who is a he's a he's not adopted Doctor Who. And he would literally go in this little police box, and it was a big time machine. And he could go in there and he could go to places you could go in the past you could go in the future. Now of course we can all go into our past and if you think about your past for a moment, and just think about how different you are to who you used to be. I mean, it's, it's crazy, right? If you think about how far you have come, I'd say well done. You know, when I think back to my former self, I'm quite embarrassed by who I used to be and the clothes I used to wear and the things I used to think I'm I'm so much more advanced right? And a lot of that has just happened by you know, desire to prove to the world I was somebody and but it was only when I really started to create a compelling relationship to my future self. And I think often people do this when they're a little bit older. But you know, I was asked the other day by a couple of people about the work that I did is sports psychology. I haven't taught as a sports psychologist. Well, I haven't told a lot of people is why I started to do that work in the first place. I think the main reason I started working with athletes was because I was genuinely curious as to how these people think. And could other people think in that way. And that just took me on a on a an epic quest that started in 1995 When I worked with or 96 and when I work with a West Indian cricketer called Keith Atherton, and I did something with him and I've been studying hypnosis and I hypnotized him to basically think he was somebody else. He was to imagine he was Viv Richards. It was crazy. He got 176 runs, and I thought, oh wow, this stuff really works. So I became a bit hooked and then I started talking to more athletes and I started working. And of course some of you know the stories that you know went up and up and up in terms of the famous athletes that I worked with. But it was so much to do with how these people think. And it probably might surprise you that a lot of these people don't think in a way where they're thinking about the future. Most of them come to see me because they're in pain. That cricketer Keith Atherton was in huge amounts of pain. He just been played in a tournament that was broadcast all over the world. And he he flopped three times. And he was petrified to pick up a bat and play. It was fascinating to me and very few people come to me and go hey, I'm so excited about the future. Let's let's see what's possible. Very few people do that. There's always exceptions and maybe you will be the exception that goes you know what, I want to start playing a bigger game and getting excited. The challenge is to build a bond with your future self. And when you work with an athlete, you know that the question that has to be asked always is well what do you want? And it might seem like a really obvious question. But again, most of them don't know but ultimately they want to win, right? They want to win. That's what people want. They want to win. But what I find really interesting about winning is that most people when when they think about winning, I'll then say well, that's not you that isn't he could be it could be you, it could be you, that could be you and that's what I'm asking you to do that the person you'd like to be that could be so if I could wave a magic wand and I've got a magic wand in my hand.
Pete Cohen 11:01
I could wave the magic wand right now. It is a magic wand if I give you what you wanted so this is what we've got to start thinking about for the next 30 days. But it's you when it's I don't know it's you in a year you do decide to year three five years time and who is that part? So over the next 30 days you just got to get familiar with this. You know we have a meditation that is in the 30 Day Program, which is where I encourage get people to use their imagination. Your imagination is very, very powerful. And we get people to imagine going in to see the statue of David in Italy and you're looking at this incredible statue that was carved by Michelangelo. And if by magic Michelangelo appears, and he asks you to go into this room in the back and he clearly opens the door. He closed the door and you see this piece of marble and he says to you look in that marble is you in the future? And he says I want you to imagine that you can chart chiseling away getting rid of what you don't need as you start to see who this person actually is. You know, who is that person? Who is this person with your that these three areas that most people are interested in progressing in their health. You know, most people would like better health especially if they didn't have to do anything more energy. It's the same with their relationships. Most people would like better relationships with the people that matter most. And most people would like a better relationship with themselves. And then of course, there's word, their wealth and their work and their service who is that person? Because you could think about it that way and see it and then you could step into the marble and you could imagine becoming that person. I remember doing this live on television once or something called inch last island on GMTV. And I got this woman to imagine herself in the future and she stepped into it with her eyes closed and then she opened up her eyes and went well and started crying her eyes out. I remember she called me like two years later and basically said that what she had imagined had actually come true. And this might seem like hocus pocus. But the reality is that we have an imagination. I think it was Einstein that said Imagination is more important than knowledge. So you can think about this. But what I'd like you to think about today is imagine getting a message every day, right? Imagine if you got an email every day from your future self. There actually is a website by the way, I don't know whether you've heard of this website. It's called Future me.org where people have written letters to themselves in the future is absolutely fascinating. I came across this you know, some time ago write a letter to the future. I've loved I love this. I've sent five letters so far and everything every every year. It's a surprise because I forget how easy it is to turn into such a deep reflective process that I would usually laugh while I write. You know the fact is there is there is a future out there for you. How's the future looking? So what I'm asking you to do, I think it's a really easy thing to do, but it's also an easy thing not to do, and it's just for 30 days. Imagine if I was going to pay you to do this. You know, imagine you got an email every day from your future self what would your future self be same to you, or even better? Imagine your future self rather than you going into a time machine. Right and going into the future. Imagine your future self gets into a time machine and comes back to you today. Right here. Right now. What would your future self be saying to you? If your future self just Hello, um, your future self? What would your future self say to you if you sat down and looked in you saw yourself that that you how long is a year three years, five years? Who is that person? And I wonder You know what, what advice if you confronted by your future self see, I became really interested in his, you know, years and years ago for so many reasons when I woke up to the fact that I was trying to help people lose weight and all the people that wanted to lose weight. They didn't know what they wanted. They were kidding themselves. They thought they knew what they wanted.
Pete Cohen 15:09
And they never really knew so even when they lost weight, it wasn't them. So they just went back they're scared. I've met so many people who have lost weight because they put all the action in place, but they didn't really know who they were becoming and when they became that person that scared the living daylights out of them. So they ran back to where they were before or they were in pain or discomfort which drove them to lose weight in the first place. And then when they got out of pain and immediately got comfortable, they went back to what they were doing before. If we can build a relationship to our future self and this happened to a lot of people in 2008 You know, when the big crash happened, and now it's happening again. The big crash is another big crash is the crash of so many things around the world and a lot of people are waking up to, you know, how's my health looking? You know if we could start to identify so this is what I'd like you to do. For the next 30 days is to start imagining or not even imagine every single day imagine your future self comes in, sits down. So get a chair, sit opposite the chair and imagine your future self is sitting in that chair. And what words of wisdom with that future self give you? I don't know how many of you have ever watched. What's that TV? They're long running TV show on in America with HBO which my brother absolutely loves. It will come to me in a moment where the character talks about you know your day self is ruined by your future by your night self so you could start off with the day and have Curb Your Enthusiasm, Curb Your Enthusiasm. So you could start off the day thinking yay, fantastic. You know and and you do your stuff and you exercise and then night self takes over and you find yourself opening up those Pringles all because once you pop you can't stop. And then you know you end up watching television and going to bed really late at night maybe having a few glasses of wine and you're unaware you kind of separate yourself to your future self. You see future self is that's the morning person that morning person isn't me. And the more we do this, I think the more we're really playing with our future. And I think we're also playing with the fact that let me ask you the question, what will be your greatest achievement what will be Would it not be who you become let's build a relationship to our future self. It's you know, the other is so true. You know, the other way around that marketers will you know, you could see a mattress which costs you know, a few 1000 pounds but the way it's advertised to you that it's only six per night, you know, or you buy this 4k television, and it's only you know, one pound a week that a lot of people you can do that three or four times and then all of a sudden you're building a pretty difficult future where you're massively in debt. Save I love it when you save for your retirement. I remember working with a company, some of you have heard of them. They're called Kellogg's. And you know, when we look at people's relationship, these were all people I was going to work with them for three days and I was literally told that the day I got there that many of these people were going to be told on that day. I was tricked. They were going to be told that day. I can never forget this. I should have just walked away but I didn't. That many of the people were going to be told that the retirement that they thought they were going to get they weren't going to get they literally some of them. Were told that they were probably going to have to work for another five years. And I can tell you a lot of these people did not enjoy their jobs. They were working in a factory packing boxes with cereal. And they weren't they didn't enjoy it. I'm sure some of them did. But most of them didn't. They were saving for their retirement and they knew what their retirement look like. They had a great relationship to their future self. You know, just sitting in the garden playing golf going on holiday. They could see it. And can you imagine the heartache of when these people were basically told that the future they thought they were going to have they weren't going to have it. And then I was there and they brought me in and I you know I was cut didn't work it out at the beginning. I know it might sound really obvious. We can buy more time. And I think now is the time to become a rebel. Not like as a child without a cause a rebel with the cause and the rebel of the cause. Is to what? Well that's up to you to decide. So here's the challenge. Try this for the next 30 days to decide
Pete Cohen 19:39
the part that you're going to play in 30 days. So all of this is just rehearsals so in 30 days time you can really dive into already having done some rehearsals and you're ready to take the stage. So every day is just about taking a few minutes to get a chair, put a chair and another chair and hallucinate your future self coming into the room sitting down and looking at you and going Hey, how are you? Hey, this is what you need to know. This is my words of wisdom. That I'm giving you today right here right now. Right words of encouragement of the things that you could do today. What you could do to build you see what a lot a lot happens with people is when they future think they can get excited, but they don't have a necessity to act. And I think we all know that without action. Nothing's going to happen. We can feel nice about the future without actually doing something to make the future come to life today. So I really encourage you to stop seeing a separation to your future self. I really encourage you to start building what's known as identity capital, a really encourage you to start thinking about traction. So when you go through your day and you see yourself starting to be distracted. Imagine what your future self would say to you. You know we can do this we can create a future relationship to our future self. And I'm excited to see what happens if you want to take this to the next level. Then go through the 30 day program I created that was created specifically to help people formulate a relationship to where they're going, you know we say this a lot. I haven't said it for a while so I'll say it right now. Listen, a great life. It doesn't happen by chance. It happens by design. Let's design the life. Let's design the person that we want to be. Your future is unwritten and you have the power to change. If you go through that 30 Day program you can also is free you can also get that Michelangelo meditation and it's hugely powerful. You can listen to that every single day and create a better you. Thank you so much for listening. You guys are amazing. 30 days, I dare you 30 days sit down face, your face who you're becoming, build a relationship with that person be guided by that person and let's do this not now. But right now. Let's get ready to rumble.