16 Dec, 2021

#175 Habit Busting 101

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“If your habits don’t line up with your dream, then you need to either change your habits or change your dream.” – John C. Maxwell

What are habits? In simple words, they are something we learned to do. But are they serving you? Are they geared towards who you want to become?

In this episode, listen as I talk about how habits can determine our future and how ready I am to help you achieve self-mastery through the Start 1, Stop 1 Challenge.

Highlights:

-You don’t have to be defined by your habits, you can be more than what you know.

-Learning is growing. When we are not learning, we are dying inside.

Timestamps to some important stories in this episode:

We all want to be better. We all want to be free from our past and be the person we want to be, but how many of you are ready to be on that journey of transformation? 

Be one of the 101 people to join the Mi365’s Start 1, Stop 1 Challenge.

This program is designed to:

-help you think greater than how you feel

-help you apply accountability

-give you a tracking tool to keep you focused

-encourage you by being a part of a gritty community

Get on our Waiting List! ⤵️⤵️⤵️

Start One – Stop One Challenge

Excited to hear your thoughts about this episode.

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About Pete Cohen:

Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people.  Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.

It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.

Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –

https://book.petecohen.com/

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Pete Cohen 0:01
Happy beautiful day. It's the Mi365 podcast. This is Pete Cohen. Today's podcast is called Habits 101. I'll see you after the theme tune.

Pete Cohen 0:38
Good morning, happy beautiful day. Good afternoon. Good, good day to you. Let's get ready to rumble. Oh, so we're talking about habits, habits. 101 Why am I calling it 101 I don't know. It just sounds like a really cool title. And this is a subject I'm really, really interested in. I wrote a book in 2003 called habit busting. And it was published by one of the two biggest publishers in the world HarperCollins and I can't believe I actually got a publishing deal. Believe it or not, because I can't even read particularly well. I'm not particularly good at writing either. I'm dyslexic. I left school with one GCSE or one oh level. At 16 years old. I don't even have maths or English. A lot of people don't know that. Even though I've got three degrees and I'm not talking about the group the three degrees are record by them. You know, I've just reinvented myself and I've outperformed what other people said I could do. Some of the reasons I did that was because I wanted to prove to the world I was good enough for probably spent more than half of my life trying to prove to the world that look at me, I'm good enough. Please accept me. And then I've learned to just knock all of that on the head and not really care what other people think about me because the most important thing is what I think about myself who I want to be, you know, and that's kind of rewriting my own programming and that's part of what I want to talk about today because we will talk about artificial intelligence, but there's also ancient intelligence. And they actually meet the whole world is run by right now artificial intelligence in 2033. It's estimated that there'll be you know, hardly any cashier. Cashier is people working behind a cashier. cashier. Does that make sense? You know what I'm saying? There won't be people driving buses. anymore. Because technology will create the algorithms that are that just work better. You know, I was seeing a picture of someone driving their car but they weren't driving it. The car was driving itself. You know, the world is changing. I mean, planes have been having auto pilots for for years the world is changing, but as much as it changes. What about us as human beings because the funny thing is that as the world adapts, it's taking us further and further away from who we actually need to be in order for us to be healthy. First and foremost. Happy is kind of debatable, I suppose because what makes people happy is relative, you know, this whole artificial world that we're creating the metaverse. You know, someone said to me the other day why why would you want to go into that world? And I said, Have you not seen Ready Player One? If you're not seeing the film where this young man is just basically hasn't got anything really is living in a very small space and he can escape into a world where he's a world champion. He's happy he's got everything is becoming. That's one of the reasons why people are going to go into that world. That world has been around for a long time. I met someone yesterday said, I've been in the I've been in the metaverse since the year 2000. I was going What are you talking about? And then he explained it's been around for a long time. But ultimately, my goal in talking about habits today, habits 101 is to really think about who you are being right now. What are the habits that you have that serve you? But ultimately, the most important question, the most important question is where Who do you actually want to be? Who is the person that you want to be? And I've got some radical ideas around this. Because I reckon the person you want to be is not the person you are. I really do and that the best way to explain that is if I said, Hey, look, I'm going to show you your future based on what you're currently doing. We made a TV program years ago called fantasy retirement. It was fascinating. We took three couples. We asked them what their fantasy retirement was. And because it was a television program, we took them to their fantasy. So one of them what they wanted. They were living in the UK, they wanted to live in Miami. So we took them to Miami and we showed them the lifestyle. We asked them what do you want, and they thought they were being realistic and another couple couples they wanted, they wanted different things. One couple wanted a house in Spain, so we took them to a house in Spain with a pool. And then we looked at the reality of what they were currently doing right now.

Pete Cohen 5:01
And if they continue to do what they were doing where they would end up so one couple lived in an estate account. So like a project, they were living off benefits. They had aspirations when we showed them their their future what they wanted. Then we said okay, let's then we going to kind of show them what they're actually probably going to get so we blindfolded them to come out their house to come in the car, drove around for you know, a couple of miles, then took them out of the car to come up some stairs and then sat them down and took their blindfolds off. Guess where they were? Right where they started. You know, that's where they were going. And when we look at stories like Charles Dickens, the Christmas carol when when Scrooge you know, he thinks he's happy, right, and I think a lot of people think they're happy but I think deep down they just know that they're not they know that the greatest fulfillment is in becoming more. They know it I think most people do. I might be wrong, but I think the majority of people know that what they're doing isn't serving them. They might be living in denial about it and the man who started or the co founder of AIA said the most important thing is you've got to start off with the truth. You know, what is the truth? Well, personally, I'd say the truth is your truth. You know, personally, I'm not here to tell you that my way is the right way. Because you probably rebel against that and I don't want it to be my way to be your way I want your way to be your way. I want you to make the decision if that's what you want to do. Some people don't want to do that. I get it. That's not my that's not my thing. But if you want to take responsibility, I love I have worked with so many people 1000s Millions of people you know, having been on television for many years and written books that have been read by so many people. And you know very few people actually do the work but the ones who do when you meet them if you especially if you've met them before it's like whoa, take a step back, cook, look who you've become. That's what I love to see. I love people to own what they're doing. So it's theirs. It's not mine. I it's what I love to do and when you see people do that it's one of the most empowering things is one of the most inspiring things but why I asked you to do right now is just a stop. Don't judge don't put shame on yourself. That doesn't help just be a scientist, a scientist that's looking over you and going looking at your algorithms. This is the key word. The the gentleman that wrote the book homo Deus, no Harare, you know if you look at his work, he just says everything is about algorithms. And if you look at what are you doing every single day, what is it? What's the programming that you're running every day? Every day? If you put a spotlight over yourself a magnifying glass, and be curious, you realize, Wow, I'm running a lot of programs that really aren't serving me. I'm having a lot of thoughts that are resulting in feelings that those feelings aren't serving me. I'm having a lot of thoughts that are then that then take my attention away from where I am and I end up scrolling for hours on whatever it is. And I ended up taking myself away. Don't look at these things. You know I when I'm cooking or when I'm start eating the further by the time I've eaten I've already eaten more than I was probably going to eat in the first place. You start to observe you know the procrastination, you start to shine the light on you. Look and the easiest thing to do would be to do nothing. Just carry on let those things running in the background. You know, there's the story of Lex Luthor. You know, he wants to destroy you know the great Superman right? So, you know, he works out you know, what can you do because he's his arch rival you know, what can I do to to sort out you know, Superman I don't want Superman in my life, you know?

Pete Cohen 8:46
So he goes on to Superman's house and he knows that Superman's problem is kryptonite.

Pete Cohen 8:57
And he comes up with this plan. He gets this kryptonite and he kind of sends it down so it comes almost invisible, you know, like dust. And he puts the dust all around Superman's house Clark Kent sounds when Superman isn't there. So when Superman comes comes home, he kind of think what's happened here? Something's not right. But he he doesn't see it. So he just goes on his normal life and before he knows it, he starts ingesting kryptonite, but it's just like micro doses so it doesn't really see what's going on. But after a few days, after a few weeks, after a few years, he's just not the same person anymore. You know, he's he's, it's not him. And slowly of is starting to die. Now, I don't know where you are right now with what you're doing. And maybe I'm wrong. It's just this is how I see I think most people are living a present. They don't want the future and the only way to make your present better, I would say is to make your future bigger. And how do you make your future bigger? I would say you got to think about who you want to be. To fall in love with that person. You know, we were just talking before we started recording the podcast with Curtis Mitchell, one of the fastest people on earth. You know, do you think he just woke up and found himself being the fastest person on earth? You think he's just talented that he can run fast or do you think he's spent years literally becoming disciplined and consistent and deciding who is the person that he wants to be in this world and chipping away every single day? You know, one of the stories I love is the story of Michelangelo. You know that piece of marble was discarded for years 25 years, a long time it was just discarded and sculptures would look at it. And say that it's got too many fractures in it. It's not right. But did that stop Michelangelo? No, of course he didn't. And if you look at the statue of David, David was carved out what did David do? He took on Goliath. And we've all got a take on Goliath. And you know what Goliath is? It's who we think we are. The protection of who we think we are the duck in the duck that wants us to stay where we are. That doesn't want us to advance it doesn't want us to get out of bed that doesn't. We've got to decide who we want to feed. Which part of us do we want to feed the dark or whatever you want to call it the demon. The part of you that just want doesn't want you to stand out. But you know, is it is it possible? Is it possible that there is a superhero in you? Is it I don't know if there wasn't why would you watch hero films and if you're up for the epic quest, you know, this is why we're launching the start one stop one challenge. You know I'm I'm launching it because I want it to be the greatest thing I've ever done. The greatest program we've ever put together is we help people become superheroes in their life as they decide who they want to be with their health. Decide who that is. decide who they want to be in their relationships, decide who they want to be in their work and their service and start to go to work. And just like Curtis be an athlete if your life you know, because otherwise you'll end up at a place you don't want to be. You know, it was Jim Rohn that said it's the same wind that blows us all. It's the setting of the sail. But just one I'm wondering, you know, where are you setting the sail to where's that destination going to? I know for me, personally who do I aspire to be? Who am I becoming well, with my health and energy. It's a world class athlete, and I've already trained for an hour today that I feel like what's that got to do with it? What what on earth has that got to do with what I feel like doing it? When I aspire to be something how I feel about it. The fact that I feel amazing right now world class athlete that's me, Pete Cohen, what about you? Who do you aspire to be with your health and your fitness and your energy? Who do you aspire to? But what about your relationships? Who do you aspire to be in my relationships is my best friend I want to be my best friend. As best as I can. And with my with my wife, I want to be the perfect soulmate. There's work in action to do there. I can tell you that much. And in terms of my business and my work, I'm Mr. inspirator. That's who I am. I'm Mr. inspirate. Those are the three roles I play in my life. They're the areas that most people are interested in improving. If there's another area I'd love to know what it is health and energy, relationships and wealth and work and service. And we will continue to help people identify who are you when you're performing better in those areas, whether

Pete Cohen 13:40
it's in a year's time or five years time. What does that person think like? as current as when I interviewed him was taught to me I was envisaging like, he's got a telescope, you can actually see himself in the future and you can see who that person is and he knows what that person is doing. And all he's doing is just acting like that person. That's what we call the genius. That's what the Romans believed that everyone had a genius within them. everyone a voice a moral authority. It's just a question of who we feeding Who are we listening to? You know, if you're ready, I'm ready. You see all our habit is if we can identify if we can identify with whom we want to be then it's then it comes down to who first not why, who and then what what specifically is that you doing? And then why would you do that? You know, God bless Simon Sinek I love the whole thing. It starts with why I don't think it starts with why knowing your purpose. There's no point knowing your purpose if you don't know who you want to be. Because otherwise you'll do something for a bit. I would imagine then you just go back to what you were doing before. You know, the question is I don't know if you're ready I'm ready.

Pete Cohen 14:59
As Curtis mofetil said, it's time to move on up right and accept nothing less than second best.

Pete Cohen 15:16
So basically,

Pete Cohen 15:20
just discard decide what the destination is. Your case you might find some complications. Love Curtis Mayfield all self mastery is and what we're doing what we will continue to do, especially with the stock one stock one challenge. It's all about self mastery. And basically all self mastery is is learning how to use willpower your willpower wisely to install that you're the habits that will run on autopilot. Look, that's all a habit is if you want to know why we have habits it's very simple. We have habits to survive. The reason we outlived on the under fold brothers, as Neanderthals had massive brains, but they just didn't have this capacity to learn something than to forget it. And it's so important that you understand this because if you see it this way, you'll start to realize that it's okay you know, it's just normal. But if you want to create a new normal, then it's time for a new awareness. The only reason we have a habit is to forget it. So that we can learn that's the thing. Please just take a moment to think about this. Human beings love to evolve human beings love to learn and when we're not learning we're not evolving. We're just dying inside and a lot of people mistake that thing oh, I don't I don't like this because we went to school and we learnt rubbish if you'd gone to school and you'd learnt the things that were interesting and fascinating to you. You'd probably still be learning those things but because he had to go to school and not even learn is that to remember something and regurgitate it if you couldn't regurgitate it. They called you a failure. You know, that was a system that many of us went through. It's outdated. It still exists. We love to learn and most of us are sacrificing. Learning something that fires fires us up. I love to learn. I love to learn about psychology and philosophy. And I love to then apply it and teach it I would pay for the privilege of doing that. It's the love of learning that most people have that the luck is learning is growing. And what could you learn about yourself? Is not the greatest thing what you could learn what's the greatest achievement you're ever going to have in your life? Is it going to be what you have or who you become? What do you recommend? I don't know because I don't know you self maths is all self mastery is right is using willpower wisely to install the habits that you need that run on autopilot so you can learn something and forget something now of course, you've probably got kryptonite and I want to help people with their kryptonite. Even Superman had kryptonite. Something that was holding him back. You know for me it was it's definitely sugar, you know, definitely sugar no question. For me. That's always been my weakness. You know and just getting distracted but I'm much better at that than I ever used to be. If you can identify what is your weakness and make your weakness, your strength, and it's not always easy, but what will be your greatest achievement? You know, because if you're ready again, I'm ready. You can get involved with what we're doing because what we're going to do I don't believe it's ever been done before. You know a start one step one challenge we actually help people identify who they want to become what they can start doing simplify the battlefield, one thing at a time, start something move beyond that the honeymoon period, the honeymoon period of when things are Oh, it's great. I'm doing this I'm journaling. I'm meditating. Fantastic. You know what's coming. fighting season is coming but you know what? Ask yourself the question, are you ready?

Pete Cohen 18:57
Are you? And I'm ready to go with you. You know I'm so ready to go with you. Let me just wrap this up with a few things that are really important. Like John Maxwell, who is one of the most well known people in the whole field of leadership. My whole life's work could be distilled into a few drops, right? A few drops of wisdom. One is a great life. It doesn't happen by chance. It happens by design. We can design that life. How do we design that life? You've got to look at a few things. You got to look at the narrative. You got to look at what you're saying to yourself, you know, and just wake up to is that serving you? You've got to look at your life and see maybe the trauma that you've been through and maybe there's some things that maybe you need to get a handle on or move on from so that you can look back and maybe say to yourself, I'm pleased that happened it happened for me I am who I am because of that. You've definitely got to look at your habits. Whether they're serving you I wouldn't look at habits as good or bad. I just think that that's that's just not healthy. Just look at them. Are they serving you? You know, why do you do them because you've practiced them you identified with yourself having those habits. That's why so many people fail to be fit and healthy because they don't identify with someone who is fit and healthy. So obvious. It's not the necessarily the most easiest thing to do. But please remember this John Maxwell said you choose your habits, and they decide your future. You choose your habits and they decide your future. You want to change your life, you must change what you do daily. It's as simple as that. You know, and that means that you're going to change and it's just a question of whether whether you're ready for that because if you're ready, I promise it I am so so so ready. I'm looking for people

Pete Cohen 21:16
I'm looking for people that don't want to be a victim anymore a victim of their past victim of circumstances. I'm looking for people that want to rise up and go you know what, I'm ready, let's go. Because personally, if he said if he said to me, Pete, what? What am I looking for? I'd say you're probably looking for yourself but it's not you now it's you in the future. Just like Gandhi said, You know what he said, don't you? He said Be the change that you want to see in this world. He left a big clue if he was here right now talking to us. What do you think you'd say?

Pete Cohen 21:59
I just, you know, one of our podcasts that we just launched recently was all about a tribute to Ghandi.

Pete Cohen 22:12
So when we talk about habits, what's it got to be you've got to realize what a habit is. And it's not just something that a nun wears. By the way, if you Google the word habit, and you see what it means you'll see that's one of the mean, one of the meanings habit is something that a nun wears. But really a habit is just something that you have learned to do. You know, and you learned to do it and you probably keep doing it because it's just what you know, you don't have to be what you know, you can be more than that. You can install new habits. How do you do that? Well, that's what mastery is self mastery. And that's where you use your willpower wisely to install the habits that run on autopilot and the challenge with all of this is the weird thing is that many of the things that we need to do that we need willpower, like I can tell you if you journal if you meditate if you exercise, you most people need willpower to start to do those things. But it gives them willpower, willpower self control, they feel that they're more in control of their life. We're living in a world that doesn't want us to take control. We're living in a world that wants us to feel that we're not in control. So we do things that we don't need to do. And then we become dependent on other people or the services we become dependent on medication. You know, I was on television the other day 7.3 million people in the UK are taking antidepressants. 7.3 million, what's the population of the UK 60 million. That's crazy right? Now, I'm sure that's helping a lot of people but is that the long term solution? We can understand why there's lots of people suffering but how many of those people don't need to suffer? They just need to know a different way. They need to go after something that is inspiring to them. Rather than just being a victim to the circumstances that many of us find ourselves in. We can change things we can we you know we can if you want to express the best version of you. There's a price to pay for that. And as John Maxwell said, I'll set once more before we wrap up this podcast. First of all, Seneca said the most important thing we need to do is to get to know ourselves, you know, get to know ourselves because if we don't get to know ourselves, then we'll just keep repeating, and be like everyone else. Remember John Maxwell you choose your habits and they decide your future. If you want to get involved in what we're doing. Just sign up. Get on the waiting list for the start one stop one challenge. This is going to be the best thing that we have ever put together. And I'm ready to work with you. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast

Pete Cohen 24:57
right here, right now

Pete Cohen 25:21
let's get ready to rumble. Thank you.

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