29 Mar, 2022

How to Become Indistractable in 2022

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“All that counts in life is intention.” – Andrea Bocelli

Our world has been designed to distract us from the reality of our lives. But the decision to be distracted, to let it consume us, comes from us. 

But isn’t it interesting to learn why we exactly let distractions fill our lives?

In this episode, listen as I talk about how important it is to create traction and how to be consistent in doing it, to be truly indistractable.  

Highlights: 

✅ We have to live intentionally to have traction.   

✅ You have to do and commit to what you say you would do.

✅ Never stop pursuing your future self. 

Four Strategies on How to Become Indistractable: 

✅ Master your internal triggers. 

✅ Make time for tractions. 

✅ Hack back external triggers.

✅ Prevent distraction by using pre-commitment. 

Check out Nir Eyal’s books, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life and Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products!

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Do you feel that you are not in control of your life? Are you ready to live to your fullest potential?

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1. Who + Why + How = Success

2. Roles and Goals

3. Accountability Mastery

4. Habits 101

5. Maximise Responsibility

6. Thinking Your Way To Success

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Excited to hear your thoughts about this episode.

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I help everyday people achieve their goals & dreams!   Helping and coaching people in my expertise. And it is VERY satisfying to change people’s lives so they improve and change their health, finances, relationships, confidence, and mindset.

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About Pete Cohen: Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people.  Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.

It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.

Pete is the author of 20 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years.

Pete Cohen  0:00

Happy beautiful, amazing day it Pete Cohen it is the Mi365 podcast. today's podcast is called How to be Indestructible. I'll see you after the theme tune.

 

Pete Cohen  0:00

Let's get ready to rumble. Happy beautiful day. Thank you so much for joining us for the podcast. You know, the other day I was looking at. I get sent an email from an organization called charter ball that basically show how your podcast is performing. And I saw that my podcast was like number five in burnin was like ranking and numbers in the top 10 in Mauritius. And I'm thinking, wow, this is amazing people are consuming this information all over the world. And I'm very grateful for that. I'm very grateful that anyone would give me their attention because ultimately, what is the most valuable thing that we own? Well, some people would say well the most valuable thing I own is my health. Really and then you look at some people live their life you didn't really okay, you're saying that but you know you're getting two hours sleep, you know, or you're saying that and you're not drinking any water but ultimately, I think we deep down deep down know that our health is one of the most valuable things that we own. Some people would say their children but you don't own them. They're on a lease. You might say your home really do you own your home or does the bank. own some of that? Listen, I really don't know I would say that one of the most valuable things that we own is our attention. I just think it's amazing that you could focus your attention on something and do something with your attention. So when we talk about how to be indestructible I think it's really about how to be in distractible which is actually a book by NIR era. It's a fantastic book and he's someone I would encourage everyone to go and read that book in distractible in distractible, or his new book hooked. It's fascinating that we have this incredible ability to focus so the fact that you're listening to this Well, how long will you listen to it until you do something else? I don't know. But if we think about how our attention is being hacked all the time. Our attention is being bought by the social media companies that will do whatever they can to buy our attention to get our selves to go and look at something that often we don't even need to look at. I remember looking at something on Facebook, and I don't even know how it appeared on my timeline because, you know, we know that the whistle has been blown on some of their practices and some of them you can understand what they do, but it's a fine line. It's a it's a fine line I grew up in in the 70s in the United Kingdom, and there are things on television that are on now today that never would have been allowed that it's become kind of acceptable, it has become acceptable. But it's been like this weaning away like chipping away at making things the norm. And I think what is the norm is actually very dangerous for a lot of people in terms of the way that we live our life. Bob Proctor who many people know who wrote the book, we were born rich, he passed away recently. It was so many things that he said but he said human beings were the only animals that are strangers in their own environment. We are alien in our own environment. We're not at home in our own in the environments that we create. Whereas other animals that they just adopt, you know, I don't know that there's an unhappy squirrel out there somewhere but there probably is. I don't know but they just adapt. Well human beings. Yes, we do adapt, but what is the cost of that adaptation? What is actually going on behind the scenes with human beings today?

 

Pete Cohen  4:38

Because I suppose if we want to become indestructible, we have to wake up to the fact that okay, well, how are you? You know, how are you feeling about where you are right now? And I want to dive into this subject because I think it's so important. It's so important to get to the heart of what is going on with people. Right. And I think that what drives most behavior is discomfort. It's pain. Now for years, people like Sigmund Freud, even Tony Robbins. would say that you know, what drives behavior? Is his pain. And what drives behavior is pleasure. And I disagree. You know, I think what I personally think what drives behavior for most people is pain. Now, I don't know how many of you are listening to this on your phone or imagine most people are right, so do you know that it's now estimated and this is something that near Iran talks about in his book, that 90% of the time that we check our phone it's really not what you think in terms of the fact that your phone is actually you know, it's ringing or, you know, there's, you know, it's not that that's about 10% of the time why we look at our phone and also because it thinking you know, your phone making all of these noises that 90% of the time. It's not that it's an internal trigger. There's something in you. And it's fascinating because if you wake up to that truth, then we're waking up to Okay, right? Well, what's really going on? Why am I checking why I'm checking? Well, because it's, you know, it's addictive, right? And if you look at you know that word addiction, I think it's a fascinating word. It's a word that you know, it's a compulsion. It's a compulsion to do something that you know is doing you harm, or it's a habit is something different, you know, a habit is an impulse to do something with with little conscious thought, so can you have bad habits? Yeah, of course you can. But addictions are different. I know. I've got addictions and I've had to address those things because I'm a human being I'm not perfect. I've all I've got some real challenges like everybody else, but I just want you to think about who would you be if you could really focus your attention. So when we talk about focus, where a lot of people think is the opposite of focus is what? being distracted? Well, this is where it really starts to get interesting because I don't think the opposite of distraction is focus I don't think it is at all. And if you want to, if you're like me a little bit crazy, and you want to look at well, where does that word come from? Distraction. Does anyone know? Well, I'll tell you it comes from a Latin word for hero. What does that mean? It means to be pulled to pull to pull. So actually, the opposite of distraction is a big clue in the word, just take the disc out. What is it? It's traction

 

Pete Cohen  7:45

so what are you being pulled to? Isn't that amazing? Do you not think wow, epiphany moment there for some people. You're either you have traction or distraction. There's no other way. And if you want to write this out on a piece of paper have an arrow pointing one way in an arrow pointing the other way. One way going to distraction one way go to attraction. Where are you going? See what's really fascinating for me, and again, I could talk about this subject all day. I'm not going to I could do I could be here all day. I'm so passionate about where we're putting our attention. And a lot of people still think that the purpose of life is to be happy. And maybe it is, but I don't think we were designed to be happy. I think we were designed basically and we do have these genetic components attached to us that we can't get away from. We just can't it's it's within our DNA. It's within our genetics. And I think we inherited things from our parents genes. We have that's who we are, you know, you are your parents, and you're more because you're you, you're them, you're you and you're better because there's more to you than them. Because you're there man you can what can you do with what you have? So a lot of people think that it's all about being happiness being happy, but I mean, what's crazy is in 2003, we designed an equation for happiness for a holiday company. And it would then broadcast in 27 countries around the world and people who thought we'd found the answer to happiness. Well, I think what happiness is is up to you, you know what makes you genuinely happy. But when we think back go back in time, to time long ago, and we thought about what our ancestors really did. Well, they were only interested in one thing, right? What was that one thing? Just to survive? That's what life was about. Just about surviving. Our ancestors did not think about retirement. Our ancestors didn't think about next year, they were just literally doing what they needed to do to survive. It wasn't about being happy. Was it? Because if it was just about being happy and jumping up and down and throwing flowers up into the air law and you know, jumping around for joy, we'd be dead. We wouldn't be here. We would have been eaten by another species. That was we outsmarted them, which is amazing that human beings had the ability to outsmart animals that were bigger and stronger. We found a way to survive. It's amazing, right? And then when we found a way to survive, and then when we found a way to farm, we then found a way to settle and then we found a way to create but the dysfunction of the brain the dysfunction of the mind, was was always there, which is basically looking out for danger. And it's there for all of us. And that's what is being harvested within us by a lot of the social media and media outlets in the world. They want to, for us to experience fear. They want us to consume what they're giving us. That's what they want. That's where it's all set up. And it's fine. I mean, look, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with technology, but if you don't hack it, it will hack you. And there's never been a more important time for us to realize what the opposite of distraction is. If you ask most people, what is the opposite of distraction, they will tell you focus. And I'd say no, it's not it's not focus is traction. Because in life, what are you doing? Come on, what are you doing? What are you doing? Seriously? What are you doing? You're either moving forwards or moving backwards. You're either growing or you're dying. Life is motion, Life is movement. What I would love you to take a moment to think about is who would you be if you got more traction, who would you be? This is why we started this global movement. The Mi365 Start One Stop One. And I tell you, you know without a doubt, we are going to help millions of people around the world. Get into the habit of getting traction. And I want you to think about this. This is so important. Think about where you want traction. Where do you want to progress? How many people would love to progress with their health and energy, especially if they didn't have to do anything? Yes, I'd love that pea. Give it to me, give me better health because that's almost like what we're sold if you like you don't have to do very much. Just take this pill, buy this piece of fitness equipment, and then all of a sudden your health is given to you.

 

Pete Cohen  12:22

You know, and then you get it. And you wonder why nothing happens, right? It's fascinating. It's fascinating that we're sold the dream, but we're not sold the reality of what it takes to fulfill a dream, which is work. And dedication. And this is what I'd love you to think about where do you want traction, you want traction with your health. You know, Sigmund Freud talked about love and work. Two most important pillars are areas of life, I'd say yeah, they're important because they are love and work but health right? Health is important, especially if you didn't have to do anything. See human beings. We're not designed to be happy. I don't think we were I think we were designed to evolve. Right? We were designed to keep life moving. We were designed to create work hard. That's what human beings are designed to do to make things that's what I think human beings do when they when human beings are at their best it's not about being happy happiness I see I think is a result for a lot of people of doing something. They can look back and think, look what I did, or some people might call that fulfillment. Some people might call what Martin Seligman calls that perma flourishing, flourishing and flourishing, he would say who is the forefather? of positive psychology? perma? This acronym P positive being positive. But that's not the only thing you don't have to be positive. Imagine if you were positive all the time. I think life would be a bit boring. But everyone's different right? So there's no one way that's right for anyone if you want to be in disrupt double I think it's maybe deciding a few things. What's stopping you from being better? It's probably that you're in some sort of pain and discomfort and you're not using that pain and discomfort. That to me is where the our superpower come and I think that's where a lot of people miss out there. When they find themselves being bored, or find themselves feeling lonely or depressed or sad or stuck. They wallow in that and they don't do anything with it. They do something that numbs their discomfort for a bit, whatever that is sex, drugs, alcohol, social media, whatever it is, it numbs it. It gives them some temporary relief, but the pain is still there. What better human quality is there of using something that is difficult or painful? to then create something? See, that's where I think a lot of people are just missing out in life. You know, when you feel stuck, I'd say just do something, do something where you're constructing where you're when you're reading or learning you're evolving, making a difference or reaching out to other people. It's fascinating just to take a moment and think about this. When we look at what makes great human beings. We tend to see that great human beings are the most fulfilled. Human beings are inter flourishing. Yes, they're positive. They're engaged. This is the E and perma. They're engaged in activity, that they get lost in the activity. They enjoy what they're doing. They're not it's not about distraction. They're immersed in what they're doing. And the R is relationships. They've got meaningful relationships with people. That's why I love clubhouse because clubhouse has given me the opportunity to build some incredible meaningful relationships. And then the A is achievement. I think the art of life is achieving is and this is where it really starts to get interesting. You you want to be indestructible. Then I challenge you, I challenge you to start doing what you say you're going to do. And I'm not a big fan of to do lists, I think to do lists can be awful. Because you look at the to do list and then you think there's so many things to do and then you only do the things that you probably the easiest things to do. So you leave the things that are most challenging, rather than waking up and thinking okay, who do I actually want to be? This is the big question. Everything we do within Mi365 Stop One Start One is literally I get well who'd actually do you want to be if I could wave the wand and you could be the person you want to be? Who would that person be? And what values what what are the values that that person embraces in their life? What's the values that they embrace in their relationships with their health? How could you start to be like that? Person in some in some way? Just to be a little bit like that person every single day. What would that be like? Now some people might think well, that sounds a bit boring, Pete seriously. Well, a lot of this stuff could be seen to be boring unsexy, mundane. You know the little things that if done daily, over time, bring about what

 

Pete Cohen  16:59

Yeah, I'm sure a lot of the work that Michelangelo did on the statue of David was boring, mundane and most people just couldn't be bothered to literally carve something out of marble. I bet there was some blood and sweat, and tears. But one thing for sure you can't carve something out like that. Unless you know the result you're looking for.

 

Pete Cohen  17:28

It's amazing that we have the ability to create traction. And we're living in a world right now where yes, our attention is being sold to the highest bidder. And I do want to give you some practical elements around all of this and I would also highly recommend that if this is a subject that interests you get the book in distractible by near era. Just check it out. I mean, I think his work is is so important. I think it's some of the most important work in the world. If we can teach people to get traction. I want to help people to become obsessed with traction. There may be addiction is too strong a word. But if you're not equipped to manage distraction, your brain will be manipulated by time wasting. devices. So there's a couple of key distinctions here that I want to make that this is where a lot of people just if you wake up to the fact of look, we are liars. We don't mean to be liars. Necessarily. Maybe some people do but we are we are liars. We are lying to ourselves. We set such high expectations, we set ourselves up to fail. And we know deep down we're doing ourselves a massive server disservice by telling ourselves, we're going to do something telling other people we're going to do something Do you know how much it hurts children. When you tell a child that you're going to do something? You know that and then you don't do it? You know how much of the child doesn't forget it? Because it remembers and then it reminds you you said you were going to do this? We all know that because they remember what about you? What about you how many times if he said you were going to do something and you didn't do it? Why? You got distracted? Is it your fault? I said well, it's not really about fault. Is it? What's that got to do with it? It's got nothing. It's not about blame. Look, you're just you're living in a world where it's challenging right? To keep your to keep traction. That's why we created what we've created. That's why we built an app. That's why already we have people that are seriously getting some traction, applying the most powerful law or at least one of the most powerful laws the magic Penny, the magic Penny. Hey, everyone. Hey, do you want 5 million pounds in cash right now? Or do you want a penny a day and I'll double that Penny every day for a month? You've got three seconds to make up your mind three to one. Well, I think if people really hadn't thought about it, they probably saved 5 million right? But we know the magic Penny story, you know virtually nothing after 20 days of your investment of your time What 5000 That you take the 20 to 31 you want to watch out world. That's where the magic is. You'd have close to 11 million. And that's what Napoleon Hill was talking about. The Three Feet From Gold. There's never been a more important time for us to focus. It's never been more important for us time for us to decide who do you actually want to be. So let's just recap this a little bit because the opposite of distraction isn't focus is traction. It comes from the Latin word to hear t r a h e r e, what does it mean? It means to draw or pull. That's what it means. And distraction or distraction really is is the drawing away of the mind. And if we if we if we just take a moment to realize look, there are internal and external triggers. The majority of triggers that get us to look at our phone isn't the ping the ding ding the winged warning. You know, it's, it's what's going on behind us. It's the internal triggers. And I think what often we do is we deflect, we deflect what is the root cause if we don't address the root cause we become helpless victims. And I think in the future, there'll be two types of people there will be people that just literally like that film, Wally, the children's film where they're just we destroy the planet. We're living on spaceships and we're just looking at screens. We're not moving our legs. I'm not saying we're necessarily going to be that but we'll be variants of that. versus people that have just made a decision.

 

Pete Cohen  21:39

You know, people that will deal with emotional discomfort. They'll deal with it. They'll use it, they'll use it as an energy to go create and what do you want to create? I'm really I'm really serious about this because I've been doing this for a long time. You know, 30 more than 30 years. 32 years right? Literally have been in this game. And I like to think what I didn't like thing I know I've got better. I've got traction, could I create more traction? Absolutely. You know, and I'm just ready. I'm ready to help people really deal with the biggest hackers that the exploitation of the vulnerability of human beings, which is to give into temptation, thou shall not lead us into temptation. Do not eat fruit from the forbidden tree. And that's all we ever do. We give in most human beings given so let's let's start looking at stop lying to yourself and be a person that does what you say you're going to do. So this is a couple of key takeaways for you. Make time for traction, make time for it. Right look at your calendar. And think right this is the time for traction. It could be between I don't know that's why I get up at four o'clock in the morning. I'm making time for traction. To exercise to stretch of our start one of my start one stop ones. I've got two I've got two starts to stops. I'm accumulating coins with our app. Right I'm actually on the on our leaderboard. Right now. I'm right up there. I think I'm in second place. You know, I'm leading the way I want to be the person that I want to follow but I also want people to be the person that they want to follow because I want to continue to be an example to my future self. I'm pursuing my future self. You know I'll speak to my future self every day. I love my future self. I love who I'm becoming and that might not be the answer to everybody. I'm just really curious. Really curious. So my start one is to meditate every day. My start one is to stretch every day. See, my future self has an identity. That is not my current identity. I'm chipping away. The word identity means your repeated beingness and what I'm doing every day is repeatedly looking to be the person I aspire to be. That's who I'm pursuing. That's who I'm hunting. That's who I'm chasing. And I've seen so many great people do it from from Mr. Beast on YouTube. He's now got what nearly 90 million followers. To Ghandi to all of these great all the people I've worked with and coached so many stories. Yesterday interviewed a couple of people who who I've been working with remotely who've never met them before. And they were talking about the impact of stock one stock one and just saying literally how it's given them the ability to get traction to the point where they're investing in something they don't want to stop investing in. That's the key when you become the change, the change is you it's not something you ever have to really think about too much. Just got to get in the game. So blocks of time really important. Don't start things to finish them. In terms of right I'm going to literally in this hour, I'm going to go through 100 emails, I would just literally block the time. And focus the time on gaining traction. Turn off distraction, as best as you can. But the challenge is I said that 90 90% of the time when we look at our phone, it's not because it's pinging. It's just because the trigger has happened within us within us. We're bored, we're tired, we're lonely and then there's something called attention residue, which means if you do go and look at that, and then you go back to the thing you were doing it can take about 10 minutes before you can get back into doing what you were doing before. So I hope you found this useful. I think really if you want to be indestructible, you've got to start getting traction. And just literally chip away, chip away, chip away. So if it's where you want traction in your life is to be better in your relationships, let's say with your spouse, then spend quality time with that person. Be there. If it's with your work, whatever it is, think about the person that you want to be what are the values that they heard they held most dear. How could you start practicing those every day? In a in the areas of your life that you're interested in. So I'm just looking at my notes here because I'm a serial as many people know. I'm a serial note taker and I've been looking at this now for quite a while it's one of my most it's the subject I think I'm really most fascinated about right now is getting traction. So what is your your biggest takeaway, your biggest takeaway from today? I'm going to leave you heard two things. First thing definitely manage time in blocks, you know, time blocking, hugely important and to just get started. You might not feel like it just make time for traction.

 

Pete Cohen  26:34

And the second thing is look if you if you're triggered, and this is something that near Iran talks about in his in his book, if you're triggered to do something, just say I'll I'll do that in 10 minutes. Because most urges are like waves they just ride away, rather than saying not to do it because if you're not if you don't if you think I must not do that you'll tend to think about it. It can reinforce the thing that you don't want to do. You can relieve from telling yourself not to do something and just say no, I'll do that in 10 minutes and what most people find is after 10 minutes it's gone. It's gone again that I think we all know deep down we want to get to who would you be? If you started not giving into temptation. We know that the biggest addiction in the world right now really is giving into temptation with social media. And I think in the future, as I said there's going to be two types of people. They're going to be people that literally, they're zombies, that they've almost lost that part of themselves. It's probably their deep down. The ability just did they just consume. They're just almost just robots and there's you who's listening to this podcast right to the end. You're showing me something about you is showing me that you have the ability to concentrate for an extended period of time. Show me what you've got. And I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know what you are, you are indestructible. So take a moment to reflect on what you've heard. And think about what was my number one takeaway, and if we can help you then reach out to us everything we do is about helping people advance helping people get traction. Thanks for listening to the podcast, and we'll see you next time.

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