7 Mar, 2023

New Science of Success


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“A great attitude is not the result of success; Success is the result of a great attitude.” – Earl Nightingale

What is success? Do you consider yourself successful?

Success is defined in the dictionary as the achievement of the aim or outcome. It is someone who achieves their goal. It is something that takes place because of an earlier effort. Success can also mean differently to different people.

Tune in and listen as several people give their own views on success.

Learn from their perspectives and know that you are already successful by just being where you are right now and then starting to get better.

Grow into the person you want to be and live a great life.


⚡️ Success is about growing.

⚡️ You can have your own definition of success.

⚡️ People tend to be more psychologically stable, fulfilled, and joyful when they have goals that revolve around them getting better.

⚡️ New Science shows success has 3 elements – autonomy, competence, connectedness.

Important stories: 

Different perspectives on success from different people

🎯 7:48 Sharon

🎯 8:58 Andy

🎯 10:48 Thomas

🎯 12:05 Cristy

🎯 13:42 Sharon

🎯 16:20 Rhianna

🎯 17:26 My own perspective

🎯 20:20 Three other views

Send us a message and tell us what is your biggest takeaway about this episode. 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼


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I help everyday people achieve their goals & dreams!   Helping and coaching people in my expertise. And it is VERY satisfying to change people’s lives so they improve and change their health, finances, relationships, confidence, and mindset.

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About Pete Cohen: Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people.  Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.

It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.

Pete is the author of 20 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years.

Pete Cohen  00:23

Happy beautiful day. It's Pete Cohen. Yes, it's the Future Self Podcast. Today's podcast is called the New Science of Success. I'll see you after the theme tune.


Pete Cohen  01:13

Oh, yes, thank you yes, yes, indeed. Yes. Yes, I heard on the grapevine. The best is yet to come.


Pete Cohen  01:29

It will be fine, happy beautiful day. Welcome to the podcast. We're talking the New Science of Success. And we have a few guests on the podcast today we have some Future Self Podcast listeners as we explore the subject of success. I think there's so many things as human beings we can get together. And we can talk about you just think of all of the subjects when human beings come together things we could talk about, that could make a massive difference. And one of the things I've observed when I get together with my old school chums is the conversation seems to revolve around what we did, you know, the good old days as opposed to, you know, what is actually to come?


Pete Cohen  02:21

And I totally believe that the best is yet to come


Pete Cohen  02:31

question is do you believe that?


Pete Cohen  02:47

So obviously, it's not going to surprise you that this is a subject that we talk about on the future self podcast is what is to come because that's what the future is. The future is what is in front of us what hasn't happened yet? What do we want to do with what we have? But when it comes to success, what is success? What does it actually mean? And I want to delve into that first off, because when we look at the new science of success, I think it's really important just to take stock of what does it mean? Well, ultimately, all that really matters is what does it mean to you? How do you know that you're successful? I think a good place to start is the word. And the word. Really, all it means is, it's the achievement of an aim or a goal or an outcome. It also means someone or something that achieves their goals. A person who's successful in their given field. So what's the field that you're playing in? That which achieves wealth, respect or fame? That's another definition of the word success. Success also mean positive outcomes from achieving one's goals, something that takes place to something that takes place as a result of an early and effort, some of the words that are associated with success that I love, the victory triumph when ascending glory masterstroke, progress, fruition? Progress, advanced benefit, favorable, attainable, sink, Completion, execution, fulfillment outcome jackpot, you've hit the jackpot, but when you look at the origin of the word, this is where it starts to get really, really interesting success. So in the Greek word of the word success it means RNA. And RNA means excellence, the study of excellence, and for the Greeks excellence, really was living a virtuous life, living a life where you're standing up for the rights of others, where you you're courageous, where you practice self discipline, and you practice wisdom. You know, you learn from others, you practice things and you pass that wisdom on. That's what success was to the Greeks in Latin. It means an advance it means it means a moving forwards a good result, a happy outcome. And this word really started to be used in about the 1530s But what's really interesting is in about 1882, it started to change because it then became, look at me, look at my success.



Isn't that fascinating? When we look


Pete Cohen  05:21

at the Declaration of Independence in America, how many of you know what that is? It's what life, liberty, freedom, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness actually life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. So when you ask people what success is, because I've asked so many people a lot of people will say what success is happiness? And he said, Well, what's happiness? If you're in the UK, and you grew up in the 70s, you might say happiness is a cigar, called Hamlet, the mild cigar from Benson and hedges because that was an advert. That advert wouldn't be allowed anymore. But it's the pursuit this I think that we need to just stop and realize that if happiness is like success, and it's something that we're pursuing, then we're never actually happy, we're never actually successful. And what the science shows us around this, which I believe is really, truly fascinating, is when people are less psychologically stable, when they're achieving or when they're sorry, when they're working towards and achieving goals around. fame, fortune to me, look what I've done, less psychologically stable people. What we do see is that people are stable and fulfilled when they're working towards things that are



difficult, challenging,


Pete Cohen  06:52

and there's been over 1000 studies that have been done on this all over the world, that showing that people perform better in their life. They've set goals that are difficult, challenging, there's there's a bar it's quite high. It's not impossible. There's some form of dynamic tension. So when we look at the new science of success, and the future self podcast, what I'd like you to consider is that life, liberty and being happy, or life, liberty and feeling successful. Because what we see in the world is it's very easy to look to achieve things that aren't going to lead to a sense of fulfillment, are actually going to lead to being psychologically unstable. Just think we have this opportunity to stop and to really consider a new way of looking at things. But what we're going to be doing today is we're actually going to be hearing from people who listen to the podcast, and we're going to be getting their opinion because ultimately, I believe there's only one opinion that counts. And that's yours. I'm not here to tell you that this is what success is. I can tell you what success is to me and I will tell you that but let's hear from some other people. Let's start off with Sharon. Sharon. Good morning to your Good afternoon. Good evening. Thank you so much for being here. Tell us who you are where you are and tell us what is success to you.



P magical day peace. Yes. I'm Sharon. Success for me personally is to feel unconditional love for me. peace, inner joy and inner happiness. I am a psychotherapist specializing in bereavement, grief and loss and the proud author of the book widowed with kids and success in my business. Is to support people lost a loved one for them to move forward with their life in a healthy way. Also the no sugar queen and success to me to see people be free from the sugar present in 10 days. My surname is Rose and bloom and I do believe I am the beautiful rose in bloom. Thank you.


Pete Cohen  09:02

Thank you Sharon for sharing that. I think what's what's interesting is you hear someone immediately talking about themselves first and foremost that unconditional love and support of themselves first, and then their work to help and support other people. Sharon thank you for sharing that I really appreciate it. Let's hear from Andy Now Andy Good morning. to you my friend what would what would you say success is to you.



Hi everyone. My name is Andy luck and success to me is first loving yourself and loving other people I think focusing on love is so important. And basically the most simplest form of success is getting your needs met your basic needs your food, shelter, warmth, healthcare. But then the next phase goes on to success of goals getting our goals met and succeeding and the things we do in our life for me, I'm a musician I play a lot of instruments I want to get better. I want to be more fluid to be more skillful at playing them. I also speak a lot of languages I want to be better and more fluent in those languages. And I'm trying to write an album. I want hopefully lots of albums and write a book. I want to raise money for charity in the various places I lived around the world. And what I did a lot of meditation in my life, I mean, the spiritual form of his success is very important as well. But in in my meditation I got to one very simple thing which was just to be happy. Because when one is happy, everyone else can go on with their lives. They don't need to come and care for you and look after you they can just get on and do their thing. So I think really love oneself. Just be happy and enjoy. Be grateful for the things we have. And then you can focus on helping and loving other people and being a kind person and living in a friendly community.


Pete Cohen  10:56

Thank you, Andy for sharing that. I really appreciate it again, you hear someone else's perspective or what I heard there is just the pursuit of getting better. And I also heard that loving oneself and being at peace with oneself. So thank you so much for sharing that. Let's hear from a few more people. Let's hear from Thomas Thomas. Good morning to you. What is success to you?



Good morning. So success for me today. I can let go of everything that I'm feeling success for me. It's like the psychological and emotional freedom I have arises from the process of not resisting, acknowledging or suppressing whatever it is that I'm feeling to know that I can actually stay with it and let it run its course and it's knowing that I don't have to do anything about it other than just to let it be. Because after all, for me, this is how I get better at feeling by sitting with it, rather than doing things to feel better. Because at the end of the day, I don't need anything to have everything because I had what I need inside me. And that for me is what success is all about today. Thank you.


Pete Cohen  12:08

Thank you so much really powerful, so much again just so much. It's so wonderful to hear different people's perspectives to and I love what you said there about just letting go and recognizing that you already have everything you already need. Thank you so much for sharing that let's hear from Kirstie. Kirstie. Hi, what what would you say success is to you. Success to



me, right so to me it's not actually about the end destination. It's about that journey. Those little steps on the way is about all of those moments. And that can be doing things maybe that I feared it's definitely for me about looking at how I've learned how I've grown as a person and how I've developed. It's all also about those internal feelings, that sense of internal pride or happiness. But I'm more talking about the feelings you're gonna get across your body. To me, success can be like a soft tingling feeling that will engulf my whole body and so it will come across my face potentially with a massive smile. And it's knowing that I tried I did my best in that moment. So success for me will look different in every situation and every activity. It's about staying true to myself. Staying true to my core beliefs.


Pete Cohen  13:37

Thank you so much, once again, just so much for me and just what you said but I think my biggest takeaway really is about that.



Reflecting actually


Pete Cohen  13:47

taking the time to reflect on what you've already done, and how great you are and the journey that you've been on and enjoying enjoying the ride. Leslie, thank you so much for sharing that. Sharon. Hi there. What would you like to say what is success to you?



Hi Pete. Thank you. I was thinking about this question and I was thinking how success is hard to define because you know, for one person success, success is you know, putting food on the table for their children. For someone else. It's, you know, getting through the day without a drink or having a big house but for me personally, success is about about moving forward in life even when it's hard to keep going even though you're facing adversity, or struggle. That for me is real success. It's about being able to quieten the negative inner voice when it's really shouting loud. And to be able to overcome that to be the observer of that rather than the participant. And the saying is isn't that I think it's a Chinese proverb get full down six times get up seven. And I think that for me is Israel successes when it's hard still keep moving forward. Thank you.


Pete Cohen  15:17

Wow, another just so beautiful to hear everyone's different perspective around this. My coach was alive. I never forget him telling me that. He traveled all over the world. He worked with world hunger. He lived with indigenous people, and they were not allowed to interfere. They they were allowed to watch. And there were many things that he didn't understand that he wanted to understand. And he wanted to ask questions and they just had to observe, he could make notes. But he said the thing that he observed all over the world was the one thing that people did everywhere, which is they will sat in circles. They will listen to each other. They all share different perspectives. And Sharon, I can't thank you enough for sharing that around. Keep going when things are difficult, you know that's a message that is really nice to be reminded of right now. And I'm truly grateful for you sharing that and so much more than what you just said. So grateful to people that listen to the future self podcast, you know, we just take a moment and we think about all the people around the world that are going to listen to this. And I wonder what's going to happen as a result of people sharing their perspectives, their journey with all of us. Let's just hear lastly from Rihanna, Rihanna. Hi. What would you like to say what is success to you?



Oh, good morning, Pierre. And thank you so much for the space. Yes. Success for me is having as much love space and acceptance for myself that nothing nothing can get in my way so no fear no excuses, no what ifs? And I can do all the things that that I know I want to do in my life. I can I can have great health I can have great well being I do the learning I want to do I can show up in my business, how I want to show up I can do the experiences I want to do. I have the routine that I want to do. I can be spontaneous, I can have fun. And I can do all those things. When when my heart is full of that love, space and acceptance. For myself. So that's what success is for me.


Pete Cohen  17:27

Oh, you know it's really humbling just to stop and just think what have we just heard? What have we just heard from from seven different people and myself. That's eight. We've heard some different perspectives. I haven't even said Well, I think success is I agree with all of those things that everyone has just said Success to me is loving myself. Success for me is definitely inner peace. Success for me is definitely to keep going through. challenging time. Success for me is definitely growing and reflecting on who I am and what I've done. Success for me is definitely getting better from for me, success is definitely letting go and so much more. That's what I want to just explore a little bit more. And you know, this is a fairly new thing for me and in terms of talking about this subject in future self, which is what all of our work is about. Knowing your future self and Success to me is becoming my future self by what I do every single day. And so much of that as what we've just heard I am successful by just getting better. I am successful by reflecting I am successful by choosing my own attitude. I met a lady at an airport in Munich. lovely lovely lady. It was funny because she dropped something on the floor coffee and when all over her and that was our first conversation and she was a she's a meditation teacher and we've become friendly and we've been sending messages to each other. And she saw a post on Instagram that I've done about success. And she said to me that success for her is just peace



in in herself.



Say Pete one last thing is remembering to laugh as well. We die


Pete Cohen  19:19

again, you know, thank you for sharing that. Because ultimately, it's I believe there's only one way and that's yours. And there's nothing better than helping people find their own way. And thank you for sharing that because that also reminds me of what my coach said to me all those years ago about what's the nature of the human mind. And I can't remember what I said and he kind of smiled and laughed at me and he said the nature of the human mind is the mind plays tricks on you that's what it does. Indeed he said how do you conquer the mind and I thought about it and he's right you know for me my mind plays tricks on me does your mind play tricks on you tried to go to sleep at night and your minds working overtime. My mind was definitely working overtime and then I realized that once again freedom for me is to choose what I do with my mind. And he then he said to me, how do you conquer your mind and I kind of gave him an answer based on you know, studying, interested in psychology and he said, he said no, you conquer your mind by finding humor in what you think. And that was his way how many of you that listen to this podcast? You want to find your own way. Maybe you want to be guided I think everyone needs a guide.



I've been guided. I'm here to guide you.


Pete Cohen  20:36

But before we move on, why don't we just hear from a few other people?


Pete Cohen  21:05

I love that success in life is you know walking through life with joy through hell. Because I don't know what hell is to you. But life is pretty challenging. And for some people it's a hell. It's a really difficult place to be and having joy in yourself. Maybe that's another definition of success is here a couple more.


Pete Cohen  21:45

No one has ever amazing story. That's Bob Proctor talking about. One of the first you're the first person to climb Mount Everest and the amount of times that they failed. But literally he just kept going. I think it took him three years to get to the top and was the first journey of failure, or no, the first journey was part of the success. Let's just hear from one other person.


Pete Cohen  22:32

I think this is where I'm really interested in just giving people the idea of what they can be, you know the possibilities that exist for us to grow. And this is where I'd like to just kind of bring this together as we bring this podcast to a close you know, this is the new science of success. What is success? Well, that's up to you to decide. For anyone to tell you what it is. Well, that's their perspective on it. My right is your left if we were standing facing each other. And the outcome of this podcast was maybe just to give you a different idea of what it is you can look at the dictionary and you can see that success is the achievement of a goal. Really, were you making progress in a particular field. It also mean that's what that which achieves wealth, respect or fame. There's this extrinsic success that many people are chasing and what the science shows us that when people are chasing those things, those external rewards that there tend to be less psychologically stable. People tend to be more psychologically stable, fulfilled, joyful. When they they've got goals. There's some dynamic tension, but those goals are around them getting better evolving, growing. And there's three key elements around this, which the science shows us that when you're pursuing goals, where there's some relatedness to it, there's some autonomy to them. There is some competence to it. This is really, really really fascinating that the relatedness means that there's some connectedness, to what you're achieving, there's some association to it, there's something beyond just what you're doing. Autonomy is is freedom. Freedom from external conflict or influence where you feel like you're doing something and you're feeling better as a result of doing it. And then competence is your ability to do something well. And I think we know that we live in a world right now where it's just so easy to give into temptation. It's so easy just to be a victim of circumstances, but really Success for me is about growing. And I love what Earl Nightingale says about success, success is choosing one's own attitude. That to me is what success is choosing one's own way. And just because you've chosen a particular way in your life you can change that way. You can change your identity. You can become a completely different human being, if you want to. And I never forget reading in thinking Grow Rich when Napoleon Hill talks about people when they get into their 50s they buy into this idea that it's kind of all downhill that you know, that's it. For me, that's when the best is yet to come. That is when we have the opportunity to really show the world who we have become.


Pete Cohen  25:59

So I wonder what your biggest takeaway is, from what you've just heard what action you might take on the back of listening to this. Take some time to reflect on this. I believe success starts with just knowing that you are a success, knowing now that this is where you are, this is the best place to be. What can you do, rather than seeing the pursuit of success recognizing you already are successful, coming not from a place of need, maybe from a place of want, or maybe from a place of just knowing, just knowing looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing the choice is yours. And where could you start to succeed? Where could you apply some relatedness and autonomy, some competence, where could you start getting better? Maybe that's with your health and your energy? Maybe that's with your relationships with your with yourself and others? Maybe that's with your wealth and work and service? Where can you start getting better? Because the success is really a feeling for me. I don't know what it is for you, but just a feeling of advancement and getting better. So I want to thank everyone that came onto the podcast today. People that listen to it. We really appreciate everyone's different ideas. And different perspectives. And maybe the best is yet to come. We'll see you next time for another Future Self Podcast.


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