20 Jan, 2021090 The New Game of Life 2021 – Choosing The Game To Play – Part 2 of 4
Choosing The Game That You Are Playing
In Podcast two (of four), we are looking at happiness. What is true happiness and just how far will we go to achieve it?
I want to discuss the ‘happiness equation’, this is something I worked on with a group of psychologists for a TV programme. By using the equation, it allows people to see what areas within their lives could be adjusted, to bring more happiness, sounds amazing , right?
However, it is important to focus and consider at depth, are you really happy? Happy with where you are? Where you are heading? Or are you settling, drifting along, When really you could and should be holding out for deeper longer lasting fulfillment.
Many people struggle to answer when asked, ‘What is your life’s purpose?’. Many seem to worry that their ideas will not match up with what is expected of them. As they simply do not aspire to conform , they do not wish to fill a gap society has so neatly provided for them.
Be brave, be focused enough to stand up and say, ‘This is my purpose… and these are the steps I’m going to take to get there’.
If you could do anything, perform any job role, (and I mean anything), what would it be? Something that you would pay for the privilege of doing. I love to inspire, so for me, it would be connecting with people, through speaking events, live videos etc.
Have a think about what you would choose?
In most religions, ancient philosophies even scientists, all around the world, have recognised that by living a virtuous life, (by this I mean having a moral code to guide you) you are much more likely to thrive and live a more fulfilled life. Now, who would not want that?
We all have our struggles in life, and from these we have to draw wisdom, because these struggles are what have taught us skills and have equipped us with the tools to move our lives forward.
What is wildly important to you right now? And what do you do every single day to keep you on track? Because it is the small things, we do every day which makes the biggest changes in shaping our future.
You can take advantage of our new exclusive free training; “How to get ahead, build long-lasting confidence and stay productive in four simple steps”
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About Pete Cohen:
Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.
Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –
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Pete Cohen 0:01
Happy beautiful day it's Mi365 podcast with me Pete Cohen and this is episode two in a series of four podcasts called the New Game of Life 2021. This podcast is called Choosing The Game To Play. Get ready for another game-changing podcast, I'll see you after the theme tune.
Happy beautiful day. Thank you so much for joining me for the podcast. This is Episode Two in a Series of four, The New Game of Life, Choosing The Game That You Are Playing. And I think I need to start off right now, with just being open and honest with you guys. So we recorded these four podcasts, at the end of last year 2020, and we were putting them out we put out, obviously last week's last week, which was episode one. In this series, The New Game of Life.
And this podcast went missing or not this one. This doesn't make any sense. The podcast that we recorded Episode Two, we just couldn't find it so we have to, as I'm doing right now is recording. The second in this series again. And I want to tell you that because I just want to be open and honest with you and I'm sure actually this will end up being better than the original recording. Who knows maybe one day we will find it. But we had the transcript, so I was able to go back and read the transcript from that podcast and listen to the one that we did last week. And the real reason for me telling you this is this talk, I say just to be open and honest especially when we're talking about what we're talking about now.
So, last week in the first. In this series, The New Game of Life I'm asking everyone to just kind of look at what's going on in the world. And think, do I want to carry on playing the game of life, because I think life is a game right it's something that you can play differently and I think it's a good analogy, it's really it's like people use the analogy of the brain and the computer. And I think that's a pretty good analogy. I just think this is your life you're playing a game how you playing, how's it going for you? How do you, how are you performing, what are the results that you have in your life right now.
We know that what's happened and happening right now in the world is like never before. The whole coronavirus has changed things and other things that are going on in America, especially right now with people having such opposing views and who knows how this is all going to pan out. I think it will get better, but ultimately I'm talking to you, and that's always been one of my goals with this podcast is for you to feel like Pete Cohen is talking to me.
He cares for me. He's a coach and I am. That's what I do right a role of a coach is to take someone from where they are to where they want to be. Most people don't actually know where they want to be they know where they don't want to be. And this is something that we talk a lot about which is look.
Everything that we do is for our future everything you're doing right now is for your future. But most of us don't have a compelling future in front of us, most of us are living a life that unless we do something different.
Our future is going to be very similar to what is going on right now and that maybe is the game that you're playing.
So, today is about choosing the game that you're playing. And when you look at people that work in this field and we look at the areas of importance to people. I think you can break it down into three areas. That most people are interested in advancing in. So I want you to think about the three. Which is your health and your energy.
How are you performing how's that game going for you. Are you where you want to be mentally and physically are there, are there some changes you'd like to make in terms of having more energy being able to deal with stressful situations so perhaps you didn't react in the ways that you did. You have any like injuries. And stuff that you want to kind of saw out you want more flexibility more mobility. That's an area playing that game. Now most people just settle for where they are with that and think there's not much they can do about it.
And then the other areas are your relationships so how are you playing there How are you getting on with the people that matter most to you, you know, your friends, your family, the people that you work with, what's that like other.
Do you want to advance in that way. And what about your wealth. And what about your work. You know you're doing what you love to do. You know, how's your bank balance looking?
Again these are important areas when you know when people come to work with me. They're the areas that everyone comes to for help. I suppose the only other area is when athletes come to work with me. You know professional athletes. But again, if I was looking at an athlete that's their work right. And if they want to perform better at their work. We need to look at their health, we need to look at their relationships, but I think that the thing that we all have in common is we all want to be happy right that's kind of.
I think what we've all got in common, but I think our definition of what that means is really, really important. In fact, I'm kind of glad I'm having to re- record this podcast because I was doing a Facebook Live the other day and this message popped up from someone who basically said, oh, I've been following you for this basically 17 years. Because in 2003, myself and a colleague of mine. A couple of colleagues actually we came up with this equation for happiness. It was a publicity stunt for Thomson holidays. And when it came out it was broadcast in 27 countries around the world. People thought we found the answer to happiness, I was on television, I was on the BBC News. I was on loads of different, it was really very, a fascinating time but we all know that happiness is relative but what was amazing about this woman popping up. Yesterday was.
And then I sent her a message today saying thank you very much, you know, she found out about the happiness equation from re-reading the Evening Standard on it on the tube in London. She now lives in Cyprus, and I sent her a message saying today saying thank you so much for saying what you said yesterday on the Facebook Live. You know, we've just launched this brand-new 30-day program kickstart program. Which we don't actually officially launch till next week but don't tell anybody. Because if you want to get access to something that I've just putting out. Just go to my 365.me//kickstart is a 30-day program. It's absolutely free, and it is definitely designed to help any of you that want to play the game of life in a better way than you're currently playing it. Then that the program is there for you, so that you can start to think about who you want to become. Because it's all very well playing again. If you don't know what the outcome is. And I love saying this to people if you went to a football match, and there were no goals, how long would you be watching before you went, I gotta leave this. This is not what I want to watch what you want to watch is an outcome.
We are outcome-oriented people. Unfortunately, when it comes to happiness which is relative, most of us, I think, substitute happiness for short term fun, right. So, happiness and fun are kind of very closely linked together and we made a documentary about happiness.
I remember going to interview a psychologist who specialized in happiness and he said, most people sacrifice what true happiness is which is fulfillment. That sense of something good that you did that you made a difference for fun. You know fun might be just watching something on television, or fun drinking a bottle of wine or whatever it is you're eating a very rich fatties sugary salty food, you know that gives you something. It gives you a sense of stimulation we love to be stimulated we love pleasure. And we want to avoid pain, but what I'm asking you to think about is to choose the game that you're playing choose the person that you want to become. This is a great start.
If you go and follow the Kickstart program, I promise you the conversation that we're having now is really going to set you on your way. Because if you think I'm gonna choose to play that game like my wife just bought me a Christmas. She bought me a chess set and she bought me the game of risk. Now, I actually told her to send the risk back because it's a great game but I know if I stopped playing it, I won't stop. I'd rather put my energy somewhere else and playing the game of chess with my father-in-law every now and then is fine, but you know I've got big goals, big dreams. I know what the game I'm playing. I'm in the game of helping as many people as I can, become happy become more fulfilled and substitute short term fun for long term success.
I was actually talking to my financial advisor the other day, who's a fantastic, fantastic guy and I was talking to him about it. People that do day trading. You know this kind of short kind of investments. Some people might call it gaming or gambling. And he said, No, that's not a game I choose to play work in the field of finance and investments I'm playing the long game. I'm looking for things that, you know, we think if we if we, if we do this, this is a good investment that you never know that if you choose to invest in your long-term health, your long-term relationships your long-term wealth and work that doesn't mean you can't start getting results immediately. But it's just choosing the game that you're playing.
And if you're going to play a game you might as well play it well. And you might as well play it by a set of rules and processes that already work. And that's what we do. That's what Mi365 do everything we do is about helping people live a life by design. Everything that we do is about helping people create the future that they want you know by using the power that they have.
I was talking to someone yesterday, in a conversation around the power that human beings have to do incredible things. Unfortunately, it takes a diagnosis or prognosis a disaster for something different to happen, otherwise we just tend to go back to what we were doing before.
So, what I'm asking you to do is to think about choosing the game that you want to play. So if you want to play the game of being healthier. You want to choose the game of being more loving, having more intimate more fun, relationships, more meaningful relationships.
If you want to earn more money or do work that is more fulfilling to you. Then, if you're going to play that game. Find someone who can help you play the game. See if you can get yourself in an environment of other people that are maybe playing that game.
And this is really, really important that you start to think about this. Looking back over the transcript of the podcast that I recorded that we now can find. I talked about what is there in the world that you would love to do so much, that you would pay for the privilege of doing it. I love asking people that question, what do you love so much that you would pay for the privilege of doing.
Now I love doing this right, I love to be on-stage. I love to be in front of the camera. I used to love it because I wanted the recognition that I've got the recognition and realize that really wasn't anything what I thought it would be. In fact, I felt really insecure about it.
It took me many years to work out but what I really love to do, is to inspire people. So that you might listen to this and go well you know what never thought of it like that. Yeah, that's really interesting I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to change them.
My goal has always been with this podcast and guys this is five years old. This podcast, every week we've put out a podcast I want to thank all the people that have helped me with that, Mr. Casey Woodward. My friend wound who's now a massive part of our podcast team, and everybody else and all you listeners you know that. I've got this podcast in the top 10 for mental health in the UK on numerous occasions, right. Because people listen to this, they must enjoy it, it must do something about it.
Maybe it's a few nerves and they feel like wow, this person is actually talking to me and I've started listening back to some of the podcasts that we did, and I've actually started editing, some bits from them because I'm going to extract certain bits and put them into new podcasts. Because there's so many great things that some of our guests.
People are used to ordering Harrison who won a gold medal. What a great story Karen Darke who won gold medals in the Olympics. Sally Gunnell, Ben Shepherd, Andrew McLean, Ronnie O'Sullivan, Naveen Jain. So many people, so much words of wisdom of people who are playing a game. They've done really well and it's still in the game. And this life is a game.
I suppose the real main point I want to make out of this is that once you know the game that you're playing and let's face it, we're all playing similar games.
You know, I've got up to. Then the game I'm playing is always around my health and renewing my health, so I got exercise. I don't feel like doing it, but I know that that's nothing to do with playing the game.
I really want you to think about that takes courage and that's really what I wanted to focus on right. So, when you look at popular psychology and ancient wisdom, and many religions and you look at, really what's positive and what do they all have in common that people will all agree on. And that's virtues are the core virtues, a wisdom, courage, temperance and justice. Okay, wisdom.
Right now, you're playing the game of your health and your well-being and maybe you've got the wisdom to realize that I've done that in the past. But I'm not where I want to be so maybe I need to play that game a little bit differently. Which means you'd have to be courageous. Which is another key virtue, courage, comes from the French word to have the heart. Have the heart to move your life in a different direction, temperance is really about self-control. That's about your ability to say no to things and injustice for me is about love.
For me, I take those core virtues and I've changed them slightly for me it's wisdom, courage, love mastery, getting better at something. There's nothing better than that. And that's kind of like what it's going to take so let's think about this knowing the game that you want to play.
If you want to play the game of better health relationships, wealth, work, you're going to have to be wise enough to look at what you're doing and think, Okay, what some better decisions I can make. Who could I learn from? Who could help me courage, what does that mean well that's having the courage to ask for help? The courage to do things that maybe you've not done before in the past and knowing that that's what you're going to do is probably going to feel very uncomfortable or unbearable but maybe eventually become unstoppable temperance.
Well, that's about self-control that's about saying no to things. And in fact, if you do decide to do my 30-day program. Let me come to you for 30 days. You'll realize what we're talking about here is knowing the game that you're playing, choosing the game that you're playing. Being able to identify with the person that you're becoming. Investing in that person every single day because your future self of you, that is healthier in the future is better in any area of your life that you choose. I promise you that that future you is currently saying yes to things that you're saying no to that future you are saying no to things that you're saying yes to vice versa.
Virtue is go back to the you know the whole vise thing. Vise for many of us is where we get fun, the vise of watching Netflix, the vise of scrolling and scrolling on Instagram, and Facebook, the vise of drinking too much.
And I'm a big fan of stories you know your life is a story. My life is a story. Our stories have come together what are we going to do with this story that we're in right now.
And there's the story of Hercules, right so he's a fictional character. I'm sorry to say, well maybe he isn't but I think he's a fictional character like Santa Claus. Because whether you believe you can or whether you believe you can't you're right maybe Santa Claus does exist, but one of the stories of Hercules is he's walking along a path, and two goddesses come up to him. One goddess says to him, Achilles. She's beautiful right long blonde hair really made up lovely and says, Hercules Come on, come with me, follow me and I promise you a life of joy and fun and everything you want is brought to you.
And the other goddess just is watching this. When she the first God has stopped talking, she goes up to Hercules and says Hercules. I'm not going to promise you that. I'm gonna promise you a life of virtue. I'm going to promise you a life of achievement. I'm going to promise you a life where you're going to have to face some things that are difficult. That you will have the opportunity to overcome all of those things and make a difference to your life, in other people's lives.
The first God s was called vise. And the second goddess was called virtue. Ultimately, we have to choose that live. I don't know about you, but I grew up in a life where I probably did a bit both was quite virtuous, I looked out for people I tried to do the right thing, but I also chose to life advice of giving into temptation of eating too much sugar of giving myself a hard time of drinking alcohol, drugs, all of these things that eventually. I just got to a point but that's not for me that's not the game I want to play. I want to play the game of leaving a month.
I talked about this in the podcast that has gone missing.
My dad. You know, the legacy of our life. My dad is no longer here and his funeral, I never forget all of the people. You know it was packed. People are watching on TV screens outside. My mom received all these letters and, you know, never forget what the pattern that you saw again that my dad was playing knowing the game that he was playing.
I don't know whether he did this intentionally or whether it was just an amazing habit that he had of making people feel important by listening to people and caring for people.
And that's something that each and every single one of us can do.
What do you reckon?
Some food for thought right is Abraham Maslow. That said, what we can be we must be. What can you be? That actually said that what man can be the must be. Get to that point and then transcend that. Get to a point where you become better. Whatever you choose to get better at but then you transcend that. And then maybe choose to get better at something else does you keep getting better as my mum always said, I think better, better, best never let it rest until your bed is best and your bed is best.
So, it's knowing the game, I want I just want to get better and make life better make the life of others, better. And I really encourage you to think about whether you want to take that path of vise or virtue, and to be more virtuous to be wiser to be more courageous, to love this whole process of learning and not being like a sheep I mentioned this on the last podcast, you know that we like sheep we just follow everybody else. Where's everyone going well, look around the world and see how stuck people are right.
I was talking to Andrew McLean the other day about what's going on and she was saying it's challenging because it how much can people take. Until they can't take anymore. I don't know, but I think we could all take quite a lot I think we're very resilient people. That's why we're still hear we adapt. But we're adapting to a world which is crazy, because before COVID. People were struggling they're more depression more anxiety more suicide why because what games are people playing.
What's a better game to play? I don't know about you, but I really encourage you to spend a bit of time to think about this to ponder. Reach out to us. That's what we're here to do we are here to help you. Advanced go forwards like never before. To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Check out the Mi365 30-day kickstart challenge.
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You can look at some of the greatest material that I've ever put together, seven days around becoming really aware of where you are, what's working, what's not working awareness where you want to go the next seven days about action taking the right action and alignment the person that you want to become.
The next day for seven days is about accelerating on that accelerate on what you've created. And then the last nine days are about advancing taking your acceleration to a place where you become unstoppable.
Let's face it, that's what you want, you're facing the same battle every single day. Into the Battle of no. Let's just not bother. Let's just stay where we are. That's not you.
Otherwise, you wouldn't have listened to the end of this podcast, you're flippin amazing you're fantastic. And look, if you take any value from this podcast, please share it, let other people know about it. Because I promise you, we have got some great episodes coming up for you.
Yeah, this is for you. This is your life. Thank you so much. What is your biggest takeaway from this podcast? Write it down Go. Tell someone. The best way to learn is often to teach. Thank you so much for being here. I wish you a happy happy, happy beautiful day. We'll see you soon. All the best. Much love.