14 Dec, 2021

Pete Cohen 0:01
Happy beautiful, amazing day it's Pete Cohen, it's the Mi365 podcast. Today's podcast is called Goal Setting Master Class. We'll see you after the theme tune.

Pete Cohen 0:40
Happy beautiful day. Thank you for joining me I'm super excited to go through a process which is definitely rocked my world and definitely helped so many people I've been doing this work for 30 years. I started in no more than 30 years. 1989 was the first time where people actually were coming to me I was being paid to work in a gym as an instructor and people were coming in because they wanted something. So you know, quite quickly I had to kind of work out okay, well what does this person want and all I was doing was what I was told I was I really wasn't using any initiative at that time. Literally, I'd been told what to do you know, if this person has this problem, you show them these machines, and you tell them how long to do it for and that's it. And then and I wondered why you show them and then after a weeks people, people wouldn't come back and you think hang on what's going on here? Is it me? You know, and then I realized, I don't know how quickly I work this out that people really didn't like exercise. They didn't identify with themselves being a fitter person. What got them there in the first place to join was there was pain. They were they were uncomfortable. Maybe their doctor told them they needed to exercise that was probably unlikely in 1989. But you know, it happened people saw a photograph of themselves and they saw that they were overweight, or just something happened. Maybe they'd had a health scare and it would get them to take action but you know what, that would only take them so far. Once people get out of pain and if they do something which is actually painful, they're in pain then to doing something that is painful, mentally painful, physically painful, being in the gym, being around fit people, that's pain for a lot of people. And I just learned this today from from a wonderful lady who I was listening to was saying that pain pushes until vision pulls. I was a massive, massive massive Mic drop. For me when I heard that. Pain pushes until vision pulls but unfortunately most people aren't driven by vision. Very, very few people are driven by vision very, very few people will tell you, this is who I am. This is what I'm doing. This is who I'm becoming. And this is why this whole thing around why it's just I just think personally it's massively overrated. I've got a great Why are fantastic. Well good for you. What is it and people will tell you there why. But what's driving people in most cases is a dissatisfaction with what they see. Right? They see something that isn't good and they want to make it better but they don't really know what better is. And even if they know what better is. They don't know who they are when they're better. So when we go through this goal setting masterclass I want to give you a different perspective of gold saying you know, what is goal setting? You know, people say set SMART goals, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic time. I mean, I just think I don't think it's nonsense, but I think it really it's not just outdated. We need to kind of really look a little bit deeper into a few things like everything that human beings do is goal oriented. Everything we do. We are what the Greeks call teleological. Everything is target oriented. Everything is aim focused. Outcome end, everything is ultimately there only is one end right for us why we're on this earth and that's death. You know, what we do? In between that space of being born and death. That's what life is. And I think ultimately deep down, most people would like to make advancements in certain areas of their life. So when we're doing when we're looking at goal setting, we like to break it down into three areas, right? Those three areas are what they're your health and your energy, your relationships with yourself with others, and your wealth and your work and your service. That's how I like to break it down. Sigmund Freud talked about work and love. Tony Robbins talks about categories of improvement. There's many different ways this is just the way that we've used and it's helped a lot of people to look at these three different areas. And ask yourself, what do you want? If all I had to do was wave a magic wand and give you what you wanted? What would you want with your health and your energy if all I had to do was wave the wand and you could have great relationships with the people around you and yourself, if all I had to do was wave the wand and you can have the wealth of work the service that you want, what would you say? You know, and I think it's a good question to ask. Now, of course, I can't give you what you want. You know, if you wanted money, I could give you money. But is that really what you're looking for? Maybe it is I really don't know. But the magic is I actually have a magic magic wand in my hand. The magic wand is actually first off being able to speak what you want to speak it and some people will do that. They'll have a New Year's resolution. Now they need a revolution but they have a New Year's resolution and the resolution is something which goes around in circles. A resolution is when one part of you decides to take on another part of you just so you know that's what a new is. If you actually look at what the resolution is, it's when you decide to do something in opposition to something else. Right. And that's why they don't work because you're always in opposition to yourself. And what is going to win is the duck that's what's gonna win, you know, for 98% of people 98% of the time is a very predictable story. A story that is based on the narrative of what you're telling yourself, the environment that you're in the people that you're around the habits that you have. That you know there's one part of this that is important to point out and that's trauma. If people have experienced in trauma, trauma in their life and they haven't had the opportunity to work that through I would say they're going to need some some help. You know, some help just to work through what's going on. As Marvin Gaye, you know what's going on. If you listen to that song, he kind of paints a picture of what's really going on and sometimes people don't really want to know what's going on. Sometimes people really kind of know deep down, that what they're doing isn't serving them in the long term. What I encourage you to do is wake up to the reality of where you are right now. And as Einstein said, reality doesn't exist in the outside world. It exists with what you're doing in your mind. So magic, the word Abracadabra i wave the wand I give you what you want. magic. Abracadabra means I create as I speak. So being able to speak and say, You know what, this is what I want. This is what I want.

Pete Cohen 7:01
This is what I want. But then I'd say that some people would say why why do you want that? That's what Simon Sinek talks a lot about. Why? But I'd say well, let's put y to one. Side. I'd say who is that person? Who is that person that has what you want? Because I can tell you one thing it ain't you. It is not you what got you here is very unlikely going to get you there. The best example I can give you if this is when I work with an athlete. It's pretty obvious I mean, as a sports psychologist, if someone comes to you and they're an athlete, what do you think you're going to ask them? You're going to ask them, What are you going to say? What do you want? It's like going to a restaurant. If you're a waiter, you're gonna say what do you want to the to the person and the person will probably tell you what they want. I will often ask them, What do you recommend? But I hate it when it's got a really large menu because I just think I've got a look through all of those things. And then imagine what they might be like, I want to go in there and I want to say this is what I want. There's nothing worse than not knowing what you want. And then there's nothing worse than not knowing what you want or even knowing what you want and knowing that you're never going to do anything about it. Because you failed in the past. And you just know, even before you start something, a New Year's resolution, that you're going to do something in opposition to yourself and there's only one part of you that's going to win 99% of the time until you learn to do things in a different way. And if you're ready to do things in a different way, or hey, guess what? I'm ready to help you. We've been helping people for years and we can't do it for you. But we can definitely create the environment and give you the tools. That's why we're launching the start one stop one challenge because that's going to allow people to go through this process that I'm going to go through now. I go through the process that I'm going through. Now I go through every day. I can do it really quickly because I've been doing it a lot. I mean, I'm just I'm in training, right? We're all in training. What are we training for? That's a good question. What are we training for? See, I think the purpose of life is to grow. That's what I think the purpose of life is. Without growth. There's nothing and growth, I believe needs to be a conscious process because if it's not a conscious process then it's very easy for us to drift. It's very easy for the garden to start growing weeds. Until all of a sudden it's like wow, this is a bit in a bit of a mess. There's some work to do here. But it's the little things that we do every single day that make a massive, massive difference. So if you're ready to do things in a different way, and if you're ready to wake up to the reality of Yeah, I do want to grow. I do want to contribute. I do want to get better, let's simplify everything. Let's make things a lot easier. And let's rather than start talking about all week, maybe you've got an idea of what you want. So let me ask you a question as we begin this goal setting masterclass. So, if you are able to write anything down, it would be great but if not, that's okay. Right. What do you want? What do you want? Let's start off with your health and energy right because that has to be the foundation of everything. It isn't for a lot of people. And I just don't work with those people personally, if if people don't want to make their health and their energy, a prerequisite, you might as well just go and work with somebody else. Because I just think it is the fundamental of everything is to get that dialed in. So with your health and your well being what do you want? What's what's important to you? Do you want more energy? Do you want greater flexibility? Do you want to be more toned? Do you want to be slimmer? You want less body fat or new? Do you want to eat a better diet? Now we could ask the question why, you know, why would you want that? But I'd rather ask this question. If that's what you want. Who is that person? When we think about using our imagination, which we all have, you could write this down and you could write it just but it's just words on a page. What do the words bring to the table? I worked with the England blind cricket team many years ago. And I was blind to how blind people think. I thought were blind people can't see anything. But what is stupid thing to think because of course they can see they just see me in a different way to those of us that can see but they can still see they're not blind people aren't holding a stick and just hitting the ground. You know, the white stick that hitting of the stick on the ground creates a visual representation of where they are they so they can see what's in front of them.

Pete Cohen 11:53
So we all have an imagination but you know going back to working in a gym and asking people what they want. People didn't know what they want. They just knew what they didn't want. They knew what the problem was. And they talk about the problem or they talk about how they were when they were slim. In the past. They said well, hang on. That's not happening anymore. That's done. What do you want? Who is that person? And people think oh, can I put this on a vision board? No, no, no, no, stop it. Don't you don't that might help. But let's just talk about who is that person? Imagine that person actually literally was on the other side of the room. And they came over to you but hey, how are you? This is me. This is you. I'm you in the future. I'm you in 365 days. Because that person is different to you. Now, if you form a relationship with that person, great things can be done. If you don't form a relationship with that person it's very unlikely that you will achieve what you want to achieve, as Gandhi said, Be the change that you want to see in the world. He knew who he had to be. He knew it and that's who he practiced to being. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I'm sure he had moments of doubt. Remember, pain pushes until vision pulls. Dr. Martin Luther King I'm sure was exactly the same. I know he had. He went through depression he went through but he still knew who he needed to be. He was playing a very, very big and dangerous game. I could say Who do you need to be? I'd say Who do you get to be? You know, we often we often talk and I've spoken about it so many times or many times in this room about Matthew McConaughey. You know what he said when he won the Best Actor Award in 2014. You know, he got the Oscar. It's funny. You know this Oscar winners live on average longer than their nominees. But that's another another conversation for another day. You know, and this is where I really would just like you guys just to take a moment and think about this. Listen to what Matthew says.

Unknown Speaker 14:08
He Well, I thought about it, you know, I said it's me in 10 years. So I turned 2510 years later that same person comes Mingo so your heroes like not even close? No, no, she said why? I said because my heroes me at 35 So you see every day every week every month and every year my life my heroes always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna pain that I know. I'm not and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on Chase. So any of us whatever those things are, whatever it is, we look up to whatever it is we look forward to and whoever it is, we're chasing to that I say amen. to that. I say all right, all right. All right.

Pete Cohen 14:51
You know, what's fascinating about this is that people see a separation between themselves and people like that. You know, he's an actor, and he's playing a part but we're all actors, right? Every single one of us. We're all actors, right? Right now you're acting right here listening to this. And you're the director, actually, you're directing your life and you're the producer. You can choose your supporting cast, which is hugely important to be in an environment where people are competing with you environment is so important. And again, that's why we're creating this challenge because we want to bring people together that are all working on improvement that people have simplified and worked out what exactly do they need to start doing? And what do they need to stop doing? You know, as many of you have heard me mentioned before this term, this phrase that's been around since words were written the first words were written a word that meant hero in the beginning, someone would start something and after a day, a week or month, they'd stop and go back to what they were doing before. It's That's fascinating. That if we could just help people, become their hero, identify with who they need to be who they get to be. You get to be this fitter, healthier you and you can make it over complicated. Or you could make it really simple. Because we know don't we deep down It's the simple things that are done over an extended period of time where the greatness lies. So I will go through this and the reason I'm going through this is I want you to challenge you to start to identify who is this person who is fitter than me that is healthier than me that looks like me. And kind of walks like me and talks a little like me. Who is that person? What's the difference between me and them? And some people say well, I can't imagine that. Okay, well, then don't. You don't have to. But you could don't think of a pink elephant. Don't imagine yourself fitter and healthier than you already are. And if you hear that in your head, that narrative, it's just your duck talking, telling you know, this ain't gonna work. Remember, pain pulls until vision pulls pain pushes, until vision pulls. Wouldn't it be great if you were being pulled by a vision of who you're becoming? And just like an actor, you're in rehearsals every day? So what I want you to think about is this healthier you and you're meeting them and they talk to you. I wonder what they say to you. And I really encourage you right now to think about the virtues that that you embraces, because a great life really does boil down to a couple of very simple things. courage, wisdom, temperance, which is having more self control, zest, hope, optimism, and I really want you to think about who is that person and what virtues does that you embrace. For me, if I was going to label myself my the future me with my health and well being? It's, it's one thing. I'm a world class athlete. I'm a world class athlete. That's me. Now does that mean I'm going to compete in the next Olympics? No, no, no, that's not happening. That's not on my horizons right now. But what's on my mind what what what I see is becoming a world class athlete in my day to day life, being athletic being able being competitive. I want to be strong, I want to be able to deal I don't want to be I'm engaged in doing that and bringing that me into the world every day. Do I Do I feel like doing that? No. And sometimes I don't feel like doing it but what what is that got to do with actually doing what it needs to be done?

Pete Cohen 18:42
So what I'm asking you to think about in this goal setting masterclass is okay, who do you want to be with your health and your energy in your relationships, whether that's in a year's time or five years time that's up to you and you know, draw this down, draw it out? So we're just talking about healthier who's that person? How does that person move through the world? What virtues do they embrace embody? What What name would you give that person? Give it a name? You might want to go through this a few times me, world class athlete for you, it could be whatever you want. it to be. Let your imagination be curious about the opportunity to define the person that you want to become and giving that person a name. Now, of course, you can think about who the person is the values the virtues that they embrace courage conviction every day. That's who that person is. They're disciplined. But then we got to come back to behavior. What is the behavior that that person does every day? What could you do every day? And it's so important to understand this please, if this is the only thing you take away from today, that there's a part of the brain is called the basal ganglia and that really part of the brain it's an ancient part of the brain. It lives for repetition. It loves repetition. And be careful because we can easily get into the habit of doing something and then we can easily get out. There's a term now that's known as habit suicide, which is if you start doing something, and then you stop it for a day, you might just get away with that. If it's two days, three days. Good luck. That's what happens with a diet or I'm gonna die. I'll have a cheat day. Well, just be careful. Be careful, because the day after the cheat day, you probably won't feel too good. And then you got to pull it back. You got to pull it back two days. Good luck and that's why so many people, they give up because there's a part of their brain that goes there's no point and what drove them to change in the first place wasn't a visual that was that was pulling them. They were being pulled from pain. And pain will only take you so far from my experience. So if you're going to break it down to today, what does that person do every single day? Well, I would imagine they walk. You know, imagine they move they do 10,000 steps they exercise. It's part of the routine. They have routine and rituals, and this is another thing that we're doing as a part of the start one stop one challenge and I promise you, anyone can do this challenge. We're taking 101 people, and I promise you what this will be is the opportunity to put things into play, right get in the game and get into the laws of accountability and compounding because it is the little things done over extended period of time. That is where the magic is that is where compound interest as we create identity capital, you identify with who you're becoming right, and you put capital in every single day by those little investments, regardless of how you feel this is something else that we will be teaching people how to do on this challenge is how to think greater than you feel. You don't have to be a victim of your feelings anymore. You don't sometimes people need some help with that, you know, trauma. If people have experienced it. That is something that people often need help with. But when you're pulled by a vision, it's like I don't care how in fact, check this out. Because this is what this challenge will be all about helping you that the worse you feel, the more committed you are. So that what you need to do the most becomes the things you enjoy doing. The most Wow wouldn't that be just unbelievably every single time you behaved in that way us celebrated you know and you just got hard wired to create a new identity. Isn't that just the most magical thing any human being will ever do? It's who they become. It's not who they are, who they're becoming? Isn't that just awesome? If I ask you the question, what will be your greatest achievement in your whole life? Will it not be who you become or as the best already happened? I don't know. Because I'm not you. I just feel like you know what the best is yet to come. The best is yet to come. The world isn't seen half of what I'm going to do. What about you? So that's with your health right? So let's move on. Let's talk about your relationships. And it doesn't just have to be your relationships with other people. It can be the relationship that you have with yourself. I could say what is that relationship you have with yourself right now? You could judge it wouldn't encourage you to just feel as interesting. What is as as Aristotle said, The most important thing was at Socrates is to get to know thyself. You know, be curious about who you are, but be more curious about who you're becoming. If I could wave the magic wand and give you the relationships that you want with other people and yourself. What would that look like? Who would that person be?

Pete Cohen 23:43
Is that person calmer? Or are they more confident? Are they more self aware? Are they more loving? They're more present in where they are. Just imagine that you came to meet you. You know where I've become much more aware of where some of the work that I really want to do is in my relationship with my wife. You know, I spent years not being in relationships or just in and out. I never thought I'd get married. But the commitment is, until death do us part. That's the commitment. I've made the decision. This isn't a resolution. This is a revolution when you made a revolution. It's you've cut yourself off from any other decision. A new year's resolution is when you're doing something in opposition to something else. And that's why very few people win. But a revolution is where you just make that commitment to go. This is me. This is who I'm becoming. I know what I need to do. I know what I need to practice and I'm practicing. That is the key. The practice the practice of a process over an extended period of time. I talked to my wife last night about it just because I want to be better. I want to be better. I want to become more. So me with my relationships. If I was going to sum that up, I explained for me with my health. It's world class athlete in my relationships, it's the perfect soulmate. You know, and I'll probably never be that person that I'll do my best. And with all of it, it's always it's always work in progress, right? Always work in progress. Always practice. There's always some things what we encourage people to do. The people that we work with, is to every day you know what went well, what needs work, what are you going to do to to get better and that's not for everyone. Some people don't want to look at life like that. But I think if the greatest thing you're going to do is who you're going to become the needs of the questions that become really essential. It's quite mundane, but it leads to the sublime. You know in the journal that we encourage people to you this is all mapped out. If life is worth living, it has to be worth recording. But as Jim Rohn said, it's the same wind is going to blow us all but it's the setting of the sail. And where's the sale going for me the sale is only going one place to who I'm committed to becoming. So when I think about myself being the perfect soulmate, I think about what what and the perfect soulmate to myself, right? That's where it all starts put the mask on you first the oxygen mask. So who is that person? What bodies what? What virtues does that mean body? Well, for me that me embodies the virtue of kindness of love, of listening. Again, discipline connection. That's me in the future. That's what I do in the future. And then of course, I'm practicing that now. So what are the behaviors? What are the things I actually need to do every single day or get to do every single day in order to make that better? And of course, you know, none of this is complicated. None of it is none of it. This is something I can't do but it means actually spending time and being present. With her and asking what I can do for her and what does she need and just being being that person? It doesn't always work. And if it did, it might be boring. You know, if everything was just perfect would life be would life be interesting to you? And then of course there's the last area which is your wealth and your work and your service. And again, a lot of people have big challenges with this. You know why? Because they don't identify. They don't identify with someone who has wealth. They don't identify with someone who is more prolific having more impact. So let me ask you the question, what do you want? There's a big question with your wealth and your work and your service. What do you want? Me as an example, if I was going to summarize who I am with my wealth, work and service is I am Mr. inspirator. That is me. That's who I aspire to be Mr. inspirator inspiring being inspired with everything I do. You know, what are the virtues that me embodies? Well it's definitely discipline. It's definitely commitment. It's definitely a resolve it's definitely a curiosity. That's what me I sit down with my future self. I talk to my future self my talk. My future self is talking to me. It's my genius within. It's my moral authority

Pete Cohen 28:39
He guides me and instructs me. It's just whether I'm want to listen. And if that's who I embody, being and I practice being the what are the processes, what are the behaviors that I do every single day? Well, actually apart from today, and at least six days out of seven. I will wake up at four o'clock in the morning, I'll come downstairs. I put the hot water on, so I can make myself a cup of healthy coffee. A pour myself a big vat of water, and I will immerse myself in some form of learning. I love to learn. I love to teach. I love to exercise don't always feel like it or to sweat. I love the feeling it gives me and I put my best foot forwards and get out my journal which is in my hand the my 365 journal. I literally start to think about what I'm grateful for, you know, gratitude. It just elicits a state of hope. You know, there's there's a whole field of research on gratitude now. I think about my success list for the day my success list for the day. Isn't my to do list it's my to be list I want to be becoming and then write down what I'm grateful for. Sorry, I've already done that. I put down today will be great when I love that today will be great when so I'm already presupposing I'm gonna do something. Then I write down how I feel right now after having done that. And then at the end of the day, it's about victories. You know, where were my victories? What happened today? That was amazing. And of course, we have an unbelievable system that we created a number of years ago because the Magnificent Seven this goes back to health. If I embody being a world class athlete every single day, I've just got to check in with seven things. Right none of them are complicated. It's eat right drink right think right move right talk right sleep right poor, right. And we have a we have this great system that allows people just to see where they're performing between zero and five. Right? So you can start to see the evidence of what is going on. Because if you don't do this, it's like this is in our makeup. It's the drifting comes. And one of the most popular words in the world right now is algorithms. This is all algorithms. This is what this is what this is all about. Algorithms are the future of everything. You know, the reasons why robots are replacing people is because they're more efficient. And obviously companies can make more money and now with machine learning, they're learning how to be better. But we have a bit of machinery we can learn how to make that better. The question is whether we want to do it. And I think a lot of the time people, they feel dissatisfied because they just know that they are not advancing. What is life without advancement. What is life without evolvement? What is life without growth? And I understand for a lot of people who may be in a place where they don't have any money or they've you know, they're in a real difficult spot or they're massively overweight, or they've been diagnosed with something it's it makes it even more challenging. But when my wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor 11 years ago, my coach who I worked with for 16 years of my life when I called him and told him, he said, What find people that are still alive with the same condition and find out why that was the first thing and then the next thing he said is ask her what she's going to do when she gets better. Now unfortunately, I didn't ask her that question for three years. Right. But let me say this once again, pain pushes

Pete Cohen 32:22
until vision pulls, and if you're not being pulled by who you're becoming, I promise, just forget it, find another way, but that's the way that we use we've only just literally started touching the surface of what this can do for people and I'm going to go through this again and again and again. I go through everyday I can go through this process. In about two or three minutes. I've been doing it for a long time. I just connect with who I'm becoming. And that's who I practice being that's my role on this earth who I'm becoming that doesn't mean I don't enjoy where I am. You know? I do enjoy the now I enjoy the process and I'm super fired up about working with 101 people and we're already I would imagine we're probably past 70 Now that anyone can register you can register. You might not get in first time round, but that's okay, because we'll we're gonna keep doing it. But we're looking for 101 people they want to get on the start and stop because we will simplify this we will help you we will help you get to a point where it becomes a lot more clear to you about who you who you are committed to becoming and the processes and then the starts and the stops. And it will probably only be one thing that you start doing the first step then the first stop. And once you get good at something and you you're out you've run the algorithm run the habit, the algorithm starts to work on its own. You know, this is going to be next level and I'm super excited that that we have this opportunity to work with people that through our through what we put out there into the world, you know that we have this opportunity to connect so the question is the question is Are You Ready?

Unknown Speaker 34:14
Ready? You're not here and you can't hide. To say it slow ready? You're not

Pete Cohen 34:29
question is are you ready? If you're not ready, that's okay, too.

Unknown Speaker 34:35
Yeah. Now that escaped sleep walk away.

Pete Cohen 34:38
I remember playing this song at the top of Mount Fuji gate, we climbed up Mount Fuji with a 20 kilogram kettlebell don't that wasn't my idea. Well, six of us and we had to keep swapping the kettlebell around. When we let go of the kettlebell at the top of the mountain, whoa, we want to sleep think about the rombo that I did last week, and then we realize why people climb Mount Fuji. And one of the reasons they climb Mount Fuji is to see the sun rise, as Japan is the land of the rising sun. Is it not time for you to rise up and go bigger, get better? Because if you are you know what guys? Let's do this. You can Hi. What's your biggest takeaway from today from this from this podcast? takes a moment to think about and maybe go through this a few times. But thank you so much. If you want to register for the start one stop one challenge. Oh, let's get ready to rumble. Oh, we'll see you next time. Have a wonderful day. You guys are great.