18 Jan, 2022#184 5 Proven Ways to Develop A Growth Mindset
“If you only ever did the things you don’t want to do, you’d have everything you’ve ever wanted.” – Mel Robbins
We all want to change something in our lives. Maybe it’s about your health, your relationships, or your wealth, but the bottom line is everyone constantly thinks about improving their lives, but not everyone commits to it.
In this episode, listen as I talk about how you can develop a growth mindset and how you can fight through and go beyond the honeymoon period of change.
5 Proven Ways to Develop A Growth Mindset:
- Get in the game.
- Go all in 100%.
- The worse you feel, the more committed you can be to your process.
- Look at your life.
- Identify who you want to be.
✅ If you don’t act on what you want to happen in your life, it won’t happen.
✅ Commit to what you want to do. Do not leave a gap for doubt and hesitation.
✅ You need to identify with who you are going to be to go beyond who you are right now.
📌 Read more on Carol Dweck’s Growth and Fixed Mindset.
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Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
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Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –
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Pete Cohen 0:00
Happy, beautiful, amazing. Fantastic there. It's Pete Cohen. It's the mind 365 podcast. today's podcast is called 5 Proven Ways To Develop A Growth Mindset. I'll see you after the theme tune.
Pete Cohen 0:41
Happy beautiful day, thank you for being here for the podcast. I must we must be close to 400 episodes. That's growth, isn't it? I mean, wow, we're in the top 1.5% of podcasts. I heard a statistic the other day that the majority of people that start a podcast, I think they do like three or four episodes, and then that's it, they're gone. Isn't that fascinating? I'm so fascinated by why people start things and why people don't. And, you know, we're talking today, five, five, proven five, I said five proven methods to help you become more of a growth mindset, if that's actually a thing, Five proven to develop a growth mindset. And I'm excited to to share this with you in the last episode, we were talking about the growth mindset versus the fixed mindset. You know, what actually is this? I mean, inevitably, there are just terms that humans have created, you know, they've just someone came up with these terms. And I actually think it's a really great way of looking at the world. I want to just do a quick recap about this, first of all, so this is something I learned from the work of Carol Dweck, some people have come across her work. She's written a book called Mindset. She is a professor at Stanford University, she is the real deal. And she really specializes in all things to do with motivation, you know, what is driving people? And I think that the most important thing about changing anything is to start off with the truth. You know, what is the truth? Well, that's really up to individuals. I like it when everyone can work out what is their truth, and the guy that co founded Alcoholics Anonymous, he said, The most important part of your journey is to acknowledge where you are. And I think if I acknowledge where I was, I had a fixed mindset I was I was living in, I mean, I didn't mind doing a bit of growth, but I was living in fear I was, when you have a fixed mindset, really what you believe is you kind of believe that you're kind of not good enough, basically believe that there's fundamentally something wrong with you, and you can't really change that it's your personality. That's just how it is. And when you live like that, there's always this state of urgency. And you kind of feel that
Pete Cohen 2:52
you're going to get found out. So it's best not to put yourself out there so that you could be found out, you're looking for validation. And you know, some of you heard me say this before, I was looking for validation. But I looked at it and I got a lot of it. You know, when you're on television, when you're writing books, when you're speaking on stages, doing all of those things, you get a lot of validation, people coming up to you in the street and saying, Oh, I recognize you, you're the bloke from bla bla, bla, and you get the validation, and it still doesn't feel right. Because when you've got the fixed mindset, you're kind of looking for something outside of yourself to make you feel better about who you are. And it just doesn't really work. So I really liked that orientation. I really like that way of just looking at it. And I just think that it is a good idea for people to really look at themselves and think, Well, you know, how am I moving through the world? What am I actually doing, and that means stopping. And just being aware, in a world that doesn't want you to stop and be aware because we live in a world that wants us to consume so much information that we end up doing things that we don't need to do like endlessly scrolling on the internet or buying things that we don't need to impress the people that we don't even like, it's kind of that is the way that the world is set up. And with this, you know what's happening now with with Facebook and where that's going, you can imagine I mean, I'm sure it's going to have a lot of benefits. But you can imagine people are going to go into a world where their mind is being improperly influenced, you've probably heard of the film called The social dilemma, which is kind of showing that Be careful what you look for. Because if you look for it, or even if you find it by accident and click on it, I think what's this, the next thing you know, you're going to get a barrage of that information. So to choose to have a growth mindset really is about taking responsibility. It starts off with awareness. It starts off with the premise that you believe that what you have is just the starting point of everything. That to me is really what a growth mind set is you know that everything is about cultivating everything is about with diligent patient, persistence, practice, you know, you're going to get better. That's what a growth mindset is. I haven't always thought like that. It took me years to become that type of person and I am I'm obsessed with growing that's why I got up this morning at four o'clock. I came down here I said I'm writing a few things that I'm working on that I'm crazy, I get on my exercise, bike and sweat, and it's painful in my body, and then I write on the chalkboard behind me, because I'm going to record a YouTube video this morning, you know, I'm obsessed with growth, I'm obsessed with it, maybe to a point where I just have to manage it a little bit. Excuse me when I just take a sip of my coffee. So I really want to delve into, you know, some of the specific things that you could do, because we could talk to the cows come home, and I'm not sure where the cows are, and if they are coming home. But ultimately, if you think about these two worlds, you can go into the world of the fixed mindset, or you can go into the world of the growth mindset. If you think of it like this, the fixed mindset is where the duck on your head really has a big part of your life, the duck to me just represents the part of you that just wants you to stay where you are, basically, that that's what it's all about. You know, we've always we're all going to have that voice. But when you're in the growth mindset, and you're excited about what you're doing, what you're working on what you're creating, that that really just doesn't really come to play so much. The other part of you comes to play. And that's what we call the genius. You know, that other voice, the voice that is got you to listen to this podcast for the last five minutes, because they say whoever they are that, you know, we can't concentrate for more than five minutes, whoever or not in five minutes, 10 seconds, that we have the ability to focus on something as children, it's a natural state, you're excited about something that's in front of you, as a child, you could give a child something to do and the child would be mesmerized with what it's doing. But then we learn to overstimulate and give the child more than it needs. And then we learn to tell the child listen, you should be seen and not heard. You'd be tell the child Money doesn't grow on trees, we tell the child Don't copy and then they just become like everybody else. It's funny how we tell people not to copy but then we just copy everyone else around us. And we wonder why we feel a bit stuck. Now I don't know about you. But I'm seriously ready for a bit of a bit of Hallelujah, because I want to ask to enter into the world of the growth mindset.
Unknown Speaker 7:07
Who wants to get ready to rumble?
Pete Cohen 7:13
To be a happy person Come on everyone let's sing. Hallelujah stand up and raise those arms in the
Unknown Speaker 7:26
come on hallelujah
Pete Cohen 7:32
let's do this we're about to enter into the world of the growth mindset with five proven methods
Pete Cohen 7:50
The question is are you ready?
Pete Cohen 7:58
Yeah, okay, Five proven methods. Method number one is 54321 blas dos. This is something that many people have heard of from a lady called Mel Robbins Mel Robbins became very famous for the five second rule and I read this and I thought so simple it's it's so fascinating. And I'm sure we all know it because well because we've been given the opposite you know the the opposite of I'm gonna count to 10 and blah blah blah I'm sure we've all heard that before right? Where that really exists the thing is if I said to you Hey everyone, let's go I'm going to count from one to five what would if I go okay, ready? Let's go 12345 You know, what would you say probably say 6789 10.
Pete Cohen 8:58
Name the TV program
Pete Cohen 9:06
so that is
Unknown Speaker 9:08
Pete Cohen 9:16
says here that once again please
Unknown Speaker 9:19
54321 Thunderbirds Are Go
Pete Cohen 9:34
So, this is such a simple thing to do but remember all of these things that we can do that have proven I mean millions of people have done this you know, Mel Robbins has got a massive following all around the world and I use it I use this I see as a tall like a spammer and pretty much every single day when I wake up, there's a battle that starts right there's a battle that was within me that what part of me wants to be To stay there, there's no urgency, I don't have to get up. You know, I, there's a part of me that this leads on to the, you know, the second proven tool. Now these are two, if you see them as tools that literally it sounds ridiculous, really. But I promise you, if you got if you woke up this, when you woke up this morning on you, when you wake up tomorrow, you're going to probably feel that resistance a part of you that wants to stay in a part of you wants to go, should you stay? Or should you go now. I mean, it really is up to you, everyone, everyone is going to face that battle, most of the time, you know? And ultimately, you have to decide you have to decide, you know what you're going to do? Are you going to stay? Or are you going to go?
Pete Cohen 10:48
The thing is, just don't wait too long. You got to let me know, because if you don't, should I stay or should I go? You see the thing about all of this, it might seem again, a little bit crazy to you. But if you don't act, and this is why I love the whole 54321 If you don't act fast, that is where hesitation that is where self doubt sets in. And again, the way that this world is set up is designed to take your attention away, so that you're focusing on something that you don't probably need to focus on. And that's why social media is so so dangerous. Have you ever been looking at something and then look at something and you end up looking at something else? And you think how did how did I get here and then you can't even remember what you're doing in the first place. We have a part of our brain is called the prefrontal cortex, the prefrontal cortex gets activated. Literally, if I said 54321, there's a part of your brain that will go what were who, what now go. Because there's no way to go, you don't go 543210 minus one minus two minus three, the brain just doesn't you could train it to do that. But literally, this is such a simple thing to do. It's such a simple thing not to do. And I challenge you, I challenge you as someone who really cares and sees what people are capable of, you know, think about this, right? I talk about this quite a lot, there is an ancient Indian Sanskrit word, which means being a hero in the beginning that you could start things with, with great intentions, right, but give up, your enthusiasm just goes out the back door. If you want to have the courage of your conviction, you got to go all in. So I've done podcasts on this before you can Google them, you know, I've done lives on them before about this whole Mel Robbins thing going into, you know, some of the science behind I mean, it's just very, very, very simple. If you don't act honestly, you don't act in five seconds. That is where hesitation self doubt sets in. I remember going climbing rock climbing going on a swimming pool of the five meter board at COP toward North London, and going up to the top of the board and looking over. And then that voice creeps in. Oh dear, this is a bit high. And then just not doing it must have gone up there for about six weeks and then never jumped off. I don't know finally, what got me I think I just had sick of tired of being sick and tired. You know, it's action that is going to move us forward. And we can be Librarians of personal development. Or we can be
Unknown Speaker 13:16
Pete Cohen 13:23
When you think about you know, the hardest thing to do is just get started, you know, Nike know that, you know, they know that you can just do it. But they know that you can just not do it. You see, you might not feel like it but you got to get in the game you got to get in the game. Once you in the game, the object that is in motion, it tends to stay in motion. So just get in the game, just get started. You know, most of the things that we think about doing that, that require some sort of effort or pain, there will be a part of you that always go Don't do that. You don't need to do that. You know, but ultimately, if you decide who you want to become, it becomes a lot easier. So the second proven way to develop a growth mindset is you've got to make 100% commitment. And I'm telling you most people don't they don't they just kind of go you know what, well you know what, tomorrow? Tomorrow, you know, I you know, I might I might exercise. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 100% is is a real dangerous place to be. You know, it's got to be more than 100% It's got to be more you know.
Pete Cohen 14:48
You call every day. So my challenge to again all of you listening to this is to know in your life you there have been times where you've made 100% commitment to so thing like, you know, it's it's like it's been done even before you started, what happens is if you just make a commitment, which isn't 100, let's say it's 98%, right 99, you're just leaving a space for doubt. And where there's a space for doubt, the doubt can grow. Just remember, the natural state of a garden is weeds, right? You just leave the garden, you see what happens, beautiful flowers might come out, but they are going to be overrun with weeds. That is how the human mind works. I think the human mind is a trickster. Give it an opportunity to play games with you or play games with you, you have to cultivate it, Five proven ways to develop a growth mindset will decide what you need to do and go 100% All in. Now I can give you a little bit of help you with this, if you want have a floor and have a ceiling, you know, with all of these things a floor might be that, you know, you might do five minutes of exercise a ceiling might be that you do 20. So that way you're setting yourself up for success. You're setting yourself up for a win. Does this make sense? I mean, this is such common sense. But common sense, as we know, isn't always common practice. And that has to be the goal. So I really encourage you, you know, if you if you're gonna wake up at four o'clock, make 100% commitment to it, commit to it the night before. And know that when you get up, there's going to be some resistance 54321. But ultimately, and this kind of leads into the next proven, you know, proven tip here, the proven way to develop a growth mindset, think about what you're going to get after it. Think about what the reward will be. You know, that's where the wind is, the wind is often doing and this is the next thing, the worse you feel. This is the big one, guys. This is the big one. The worse you feel. I wrote this down this morning was absolutely fascinating. I've been reading a book called Ultra in honor of Alex Flynn who just passed away because he was completely Ultra. around when you start something you've got the honeymoon period. Ah, this is so nice. The honeymoon period? No, no, no, this is so easy. I love it. And then you've got the fight through period, right? The fight through period where you're going to need something you're going to need to fight through it because that's the time that most people will will give up. That's the time where you got to realize really what it is that you're about you know
Pete Cohen 17:36
when you've got to have the Eye of the Tiger and rocky three, rocky loses it, you know, he hasn't got the eye of the tiger anymore, and he gets beat up by Clubber Lang Who's Mr. T ain't gonna be no rematch, no one wants. And it's when it gets tough, the tough gets going. That is really where it's the fight through. That's the worst you feel. Write that down the worst I feel the more committed I am. Now of course, if you're feeling really bad, and that's something physical is seriously going on, then you know, that's a different story. But more than likely what's going on is you just don't feel like it.
Pete Cohen 18:19
And do you not see that now is the time for you to have the focus the focus on what you're doing. But more importantly, which is the fifth thing I want to talk about, which is your identity. It's actually knowing I was I was talking to someone just a couple of hours ago, really about? You know, they realized they were addicted to certain foods, right? So I really admired this person because they made massive change, huge change. To overcome that, but they were still having some health challenges so much better. But I just said, Look, that's amazing. But who do you actually want to become because what drives most behavior is a dissatisfaction with where you are, you know, it's painful. It's, I don't like this anymore. Enough's enough. I feel I don't have any control I want. I want control back. Right. So brilliant. That's a fantastic driver. But if it's not aligned to something bigger than where you are, you might as well forget it. Most people might as well forget it. Honestly, I can't say it isn't good, you won't enjoy the ride. But if you know who you're becoming, right, if you actually know who that person is, and you talk to that person, you have a relationship with that person, everything becomes a lot easier. So I challenged him I challenged him surprise surprise to see the rival that you know, the rival isn't the person that you're fighting in opposition. It's the person in your head that's in opposition to where it is that you want to go. But if you know where you want to go, and you're excited about who that person is and what they do and how they think your rival hasn't got a chance. It's just whether you want to do the work. So I challenged him to do you know my 30 Day program, but we've had you know 1000s Six and a half 1000 people, but why don't people complete it? Well, maybe it's just not for them and nothing is for everyone. But I can tell you most people, they don't complete it. Because their rival doesn't want them to do it and the rival wins. The rival to me is your duck, your genius is the one that goes, Hey, let's go. Let's do this. I can see the importance of this because I want impact. I want growth. So five proven ways to develop your growth mindset. 54321 Get in the game. Remove remove the procrastination time, I'm a procrastinator. Okay. Well, 54321, let's go go from procrastination to progress, progress and action. And by the way, if something takes you less than two minutes to do, just do it, get into the habit of showing yourself what you're capable of rising above how you feel. The second one is all about making 100% commitment. I mean, it's so obvious, right? 100%, not 98 100%, I'm going all in, I'm going all in. That's why I don't gamble because I was a terrible gambler. It's in my genes, I just don't do it. Because I couldn't, if I started losing it to keep going until I completely ran out or won my money back. You know, I'm staying well away from that. And the third one is about the worse you feel, the worse you feel, the more committed, you should be to what you're doing. So you go through that honeymoon phase, and you go into the fight through phase, and I love it are speaking to a lady who I've been coaching for some time. And yesterday, who's got this, these new photographs of her she looks amazing. She went through that fight through period. And that's where when people go through that, that's where the gold is. That's when they get to the point where they can't go back, they cannot go back. It's where it becomes second nature. But I'd say it's not even second nature, it becomes first nature. So number five, because we haven't done number four yet. Number five is all about identity. Number four, is is really, really, really simple. And it's basically having the concept or the philosophy that everything is happening for you. Everything, everything is happening for you, not to you. And that that's a hard thing for for people to get their head around. And I think sometimes people need help with that they maybe need to have some form of therapy in order to get to a point where they can look back through their life and say, You know what, that happened for me, rather than that happened to me, and I've been really horrendously affected by that, you know, to get to the point where people can do that. That's such a beautiful thing, don't you think? And I've done that many times in my life, I've taken the time to think about everything I've been through. And I probably like most people here, it's it's all relative. But I would imagine that we've all been through some difficult times in our life. But you know what, you're still in the game. You're still here. And I want to take a moment to say, Well done, is still here. What do you want to do with with what you have, which actually comes from one of my favorite films, Lord of the Rings
Pete Cohen 23:18
where there's this line, where Gandalf basically says, you know, it's, it's, it's about what you choose to do with the time that you have left. And it ain't over yet, right? I don't know if you agree with me, but I don't think it's over. I know it's not over. Unless this is all just a dream
Pete Cohen 23:53
and you could take some time to think about that if you wanted to. Because you know, the thing is right, you don't have to do anything. That's the thing. And in most cases for most of us, we're lucky enough that there are certain things we have to do. But there's we don't really have to do too much. It's it's such a interesting time that we live in that it's so easy to drift and even after all those years of that book being written by Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich, and then Outwitting the Devil, I still find it so fascinating today. And the last one I've been touching on this as we bring this to a close, the last one is about identity. Any of you who listen to my podcasts or you've done any work with me, you know, that that's the thing I'm really really fascinated about the identity of you how you see yourself is it the growth mindset ultimately is how you see yourself and how, how much of how you see yourself as a choice. And honestly, how are you choosing to look at yourself I find that just so interesting, you know, I'm as fascinated about that now as I ever have been. Who are you going to be?
Pete Cohen 25:15
Because it's the same wind blows us all, everyone is blown by the same winds. But it really is the setting of the sail.
Pete Cohen 25:31
So I want to ask you, where are you going? But more importantly, who will you be? And to me, this is bigger than it all starts with why? I said, No. It starts with who? Who do you want to be? And why do you want to be that person?
Pete Cohen 26:05
I just want to be better. I want to be proud of myself. I want my parents who are no longer here to be proud of me. My dad used to say that to me all the time, he used to say son, I'm so proud of you.
Pete Cohen 26:26
My dad was a Rotarian for 50 years of his life, he dedicated his life to serve as a Rotarian, you seek service over self. But in order for me to serve in the way that I'm capable of serving, who do I need to be?
Pete Cohen 27:08
Now, I don't know how many of you have seen this film, American Beauty. But right at the end, there's this amazing piece, I cried my eyes out, when I watch this film, where you see him, he's been shot, and he drifts, drifting off into another dimension. And he's talking about the world that he's left behind. And seeing one day, you'll have that moment of clarity. Where everything you see is completely different to how you saw it before, or you just see it with a massive fresh pair of eyes.
Pete Cohen 27:51
And I encourage you to think about what we've been speaking about five proven ways to develop a growth mindset. The first is just getting in the game 54321 Get in the game. Every day, get in the game, it's just a game. And it's time to play the game, perhaps in a different way to how you've played it in the past. Number two is go all in 100%, don't don't make a 98% commitment to anything. Oh, I'm not sure I might do it. No, you're opening up for doubt. And if you want doubt to come in, it will take over. It's like a parasite. It's like a weed in a garden, it will just take over, it will grow uncontrollably, grab it by the roots, and make that choice. The third is the worse you feel the more committed you can be to your process. And that really is another element. But we'll talk about that another time. That you want something so much that you realize the only way to get it is the process and you fall in love with the process. The worse you feel, the more committed you should be to whatever it is that you're working on. That's number three, number four. Or number five is identity, identifying with who you want to be. That's what my 30 Day program is all about. Anyone can do that program. The reason people don't finish it is because the worse they feel, the less likely they are to do anything, the worse they feel, the more likely they are to give into temptation to get distracted. But when you truly know who you can become, it becomes much easier to move through the world. And number four is really about being able to look at your life and think you know what this is happening for me, but you know what, you don't just have to use that in your now you can use that in your future, can't you? You can use it and everything happens. This is just fuel. This is fuel for my growth. This is all good mental training, write that down. This is all good mental training, everything that happens. It's all good mental training. That's all that it is. So I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart to listening to this podcast, you know, maybe it's time to run the race. One of my favorite films again I cried when I watched this film must have been about 10 Chariots of Fire. Ready to drops ready? It drops ready. All righty then. So what was your biggest takeaway today? I would love to know. I'd love you to share this podcast. Life is a race. Life is competitive. It's time to compete against yourself. The best way to compete against yourself is decide who you want to become. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. Let's get ready to rumble. And we'll see you next time.