1 Feb, 2022#188 How to Trick Your Brain and Become More Successful
“To grow yourself, you must know yourself” – John C Maxwell
Everyone wants to be successful, but not everyone follows through with their intentions. Challenges, setbacks, mental presets, are some of the reasons why we feel hindered instead of pushing through to be more determined in reaching our goals.
In this episode, listen as I talk about how we can trick our minds and condition it to not be fazed and be more determined than ever to become the person we truly want to be.
✅ Be curious about the experience of being you. No judgement. Just be connected to who you are.
✅ You are more than what you feel. Do not forget your goals.
Some important stories from the episode:
✍🏼 (21:46) Recalling the conversation with Steven Bartlett on how he kept pursuing himself.
✍🏼 (24:13) Testimonials from people that went through the Mi365 30 Day Kickstart Challenge.
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About Pete Cohen:
Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.
Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –
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Pete Cohen 0:01
Happy beautiful day, it's Pete Cohen Welcome to the Mi365 podcast. Today's podcast is called How to Trick Your Brain and Become More Successful. Are you ready? I'll see you after the theme tune.
Pete Cohen 0:48
Happy beautiful day, welcome to the podcast today we're talking all about tricking your mind. Did you know that your mind is playing tricks on you. Right, then it might have been playing a trick on you it's one of the things I am most fascinated about the experience of being you. What is that like, and I think sometimes it's hard to know that you don't have to think the way that you think you don't have to feel the way that you feel. And I often look at a big map of the world that I have. And I look at all the people around the world who I envisage are in all of these different places and I wonder, how are they thinking about where they are right now. You see what separates all of us from other animals as far as we know, is the way that we think and the way that we feel and ultimately the choices that we make. And in this podcast I really want to give you a different perspective of the human condition, and perhaps how you can think differently, feel differently and have more of what it is that you want in your life. So the first question I'd love to ask you is, how do you feel about where you are right at this moment in time. How do you feel now remember I used to say this to my nieces I said how do you feel, and they go with my hands. And that's obviously how we can feel you can put your hand on yourself you can feel yourself you can feel the fact that you're actually here. But when you think about what's going on behind the scenes, behind your eyes, most people are unaware of that. Most people just think that the way that they think and feel, is really out of their control. And when we look at ancient wisdom we can really see that there are certain practices that have been around for a long long long time. 1000s of years ago people talked about the importance of meditation. The Importance of Being mindful, the importance of seeing yourself as if you're moving through the world as opposed to being caught up in the world, and in the work that I do with many business people many entrepreneurs. Many of them are caught up in their business as opposed to being able to see exactly what is going on, being able to just observe the experience of being yourself and then maybe even realizing there's more to you than meets the eye. Now of course, it's not for me to tell anyone here what they shouldn't shouldn't do and I'm right and you're wrong. I was in a room on the, on clubhouse yesterday, and you could quite clearly see that there were two opposing sides, and no one would look at it from someone else's point of view, people were really challenged to look at the world through someone else's eyes. Because I think often we think that everyone thinks like us. Now I don't know, but one question my coach always used to ask me is how do you feel about where you are right now. And if you were to ask me about how I feel right now. Well, the last couple of days have been pretty traumatic, to say the least. So I am definitely a result, how I'm feeling is a product of what I have experienced. And this is so important for people to get their heads around. As an interesting expression, isn't it, to get your head around. Personally, I don't think we're really designed to live in the world that we're in right now I think we've created a world that it makes us, it makes it very difficult for us to be at one with ourselves, for us to practice mindfulness for us to just be able to take a break.
Pete Cohen 5:03
For us to be just be able to observe what is going on I don't know if you remember the game, when I grew up there was a game called Frogger. And the whole idea of the game of Frogger was you had a frog. And this computer game and the idea was to the frog had to move into oncoming traffic but dodge the traffic, and then get into the middle lane and then go on the other side and the traffic is you got better the traffic will get faster, we get more difficult. But that's how I see life sometimes, for me I see that sometimes things are moving so fast, but they're not moving fast, it's just, I'm allowing them to move fast in my mind, it was Einstein that said reality doesn't exist in the outside world reality just exists in our mind. And it's through the practice if you really want to learn how to trick your mind. The first thing is you've got to be curious, not judgmental, curious, curious of the experience of being yourself, not looking at it as right or wrong or good or bad, just realizing that you're doing the best that you can with what you have. Could you do better. Well of course you could write everyone can do better. Do you not think that that's maybe why a lot of people sit in regret. Sit in doubt, sit in frustration and guilt, because they know that they could have done better in a situation. This is just how I say I think we do the best that we can with what we have. We do the best that we can based on what we've done before in the past.
Unknown Speaker 6:46
Pete Cohen 6:48
what's so fascinating about the experience of being a human being is how, What has happened to us, affects us. So the first thing I'd love you to really think about is just the ability to the ability to be curious, the ability to go, Hmm, this is interesting. Why am I thinking and feeling the way that I am. and I want to explain something too that I believe to be so important, it's probably one of the most important things I'll ever say to you, and it's this. What's happened to us as human beings is that we are now. So governed by how we feel. And I want to ask you, Has there ever been a time in your life, where, how you felt had nothing to do with what you did. You know, seriously just take a moment and think about how many people are there around the world right now who literally don't feel like doing something that they know that they really need to do. you know they know they need to get out of bed because they're going to be late. They know that they need to exercise, they know, they just know that they need to move, they know that they need to pay the bills, they know they need to make that phone call. They know, they know they need to take better care of themselves, they know, but they don't, because they don't feel like it. You know, yesterday was not it wasn't yesterday it was yesterday. Yeah, I came back from Liverpool on a train very early in the morning, and these two guys sat opposite me, and they were going to watch Manchester City vs Chelsea, and they sat opposite me and they had two bags full of bottles of beer. And they literally must have drunk, eight bottles each before they arrived into London, and I'm a curious person, so I actually was listening to what they were talking about. And it's my belief that they're doing what really, they really want to do in their life. But I think deep down, maybe there's something missing for them that they know that there must be more to life than this. That's what I think I might be wrong. I don't know I could have asked them it would have been a really interesting conversation, maybe there would have been some denial about it that come on there must be more to life than going to watch a game of football that you don't even know whether the team their team actually did win. But the lengths that people will go in life.
Pete Cohen 9:27
Pete Cohen 9:33
what is life really all about. Why are we here. What are we here to do. Again, this is really none of my business. I'm just curious as someone who's maybe one of the most curious people on the planet that it seems like human beings are at their best when they're growing when they're learning when they're making a difference to other people's lives. Would you rather receive a present from someone or would you rather give a present to someone.
Pete Cohen 10:16
I think we're all driven to do things which make us come alive, make us feel alive, and maybe going to the football and drinking beer it heightens your senses and watching a game and being around other people. This kind of tribal mentality. And I was at Liverpool Football Club, which is a football team I've supported all my life, and it's really amazing just to see how much people put into something that they don't actually have that much control over what actually happens. And what's this all got to do with your mind and the mind playing tricks on you.
Pete Cohen 10:57
Well when I was a young, young girl, 29 years old, I wasn't in a good space I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue diagnosed with me. I was desperately trying to get better. I was desperately looking for someone to make me better I was definitely desperately looking for a pill, desperately looking for something a treatment, a technique that would make me better. And I don't think there was anything I think it was just a question of time, personally, and learning how to take better care of myself, because I thought that ultimately, there was nothing I could do personally it was down to someone else to do something to me. And when I started working with a coach, who I worked with for 16 years, he was the one. One day, he said to me, what is the nature of the human mind. And I tried to give him an answer based on my study of psychology, that's why it's one of the my degrees at university. And he said, he just laughed at me. He said the nature of the human mind is your mind plays tricks on you. Just think about it, how many tricks is your mind played on you, on Friday night, my mind was playing huge tricks on me. But I didn't have to let that happen. I didn't have to let myself think what I thought and felt what I felt. I didn't have to let that happen. But I did. Why, well that's the way that I felt in the past. Now I had the opportunity in that moment to practice some form of wisdom. But I want to give you something right here right now. Now, if it's true that your mind plays tricks on you right. You try to go to sleep at night. And you can't, you're thinking about stuff. You're walking down the street you think someone's behind you, there's nobody there. Your mind is playing a trick on you you think someone's talking about you. Often when I get up in front of people to speak, which is now something that's just started to happen again more and more, you know actually real people. You know, I can hear my mind playing a trick on me. But I'm much better at realizing I am more than what I think. And this is what I really want everyone to maybe consider you or more than what you think, can you choose what you think. Is there a gap between what you think and what you feel is there something different you could do in that space. Now this is much easier to do, where you see and this is some of the work I've been doing over the last few days, is about something called Pearson's law, I don't know whether you've heard of Pearson's law but it's fascinating, it's basically about when you measure progress. When you measure the progress that you're making in life, and if you record that prayer, progress, then your progress can become exponential, it literally can just take off. If you record your progress, but the thing is if you don't know where you're progressing to if you don't have something to aim for, then it's just, What the Why would you want to measure anything. What's the point. You know human beings left on their own don't do very well, human beings tend to do well in groups, human beings seem to do even better when they're in groups that are have shared vision shared goals. So if you're in a group of people that don't have big goals big dreams of getting better being better making a difference and it's going to be very hard for you to progress. But is it possible that you could start to observe what your mind is doing and be curious as to the choices that you have even to find humor in what you think. See what I find fascinating is how many of us just want to hold on to the idea of who we think we are based on who we've been in the past, rather than actually deciding you know what, I don't want to be who I was in the past.
Pete Cohen 14:50
I want to move on. I want more. I want to become more I want to do more but the challenge in all of this is if there is trauma, if there is something in your life that is has troubled you. Like, personally I'm going to be brutally honest, something that is just happened it's made me realize you know what I need to talk this through.
Pete Cohen 15:18
We all need someone and not just someone I think sometimes we need more than just someone we need a group of people that support us. That's why I have a coaching group I have a group of people that they're doing their best in in progressing and being an example to everyone else in the group. Could everyone do better, of course, everyone can do better, otherwise what's the point of getting up every day if there's not something to get better at. If there's not something to practice. That's why in Japan they have this expression called iki guy which basically is your reason for getting up every single day there's something that's driving you forwards, there's something that when you do it, it makes you come alive. Now I'm not saying that those guys on the train, are doing anything wrong. The reality is that they might end up in a place where they might wish they've made some different decisions. Because is it possible that most of us are living a future that we don't really want.
Pete Cohen 16:22
It's the curiosity that informs us of the possibilities that exist. So what I'd love for you to do is realize yeah that you have a mind the nature of the mind the mind is a channel. This is this is what I really would love you to just think about your mind is a channel, just be careful where you put it. Just be careful where you put it, because left and attended. It just goes to where it's been before. Is it not time now for all of us to realize what our mind is doing. And one of the things I've learned is this. Once upon a time long ago when you were very small. What happened was, Your mind was the absolute master of everything. We came into this world we weren't ready I mean it's a miracle that you, that you're here anyway, you just think about it, you know, of all the heroic things that you've done, I want you to think about the heroic efforts. One of those most heroic efforts was just being born. How did that happen. I've all of the millions of sperm you were the ones who the one, or the ones that literally decided to come through. What a miracle. And then you came into this world but you weren't ready to fend for yourself you formed dependencies on the people around you. You took everything in you didn't know right or wrong, but once you realized that you could see, hear and feel you really wanted to explore. You were an explorer you when you wanted something you let the world know about it. What did you want, often very basic things maybe just to be held. Maybe your nappy to be changed to be fed. Then when you realize that you could actually make noises because you want you wanted things then you could move the store other people move in you saw things in front of you and you thought you know what I want that so I'm going to go and get that. And you learn to kind of wobble around a little bit and crawl around and then you could get up, he started moving, but how you felt had absolutely nothing to do with it because if you felt something like pain because you hate yourself you wouldn't give up, because what you wanted was more important. I mean, can you remember that. I don't remember it but I've seen lots of other babies do it in pain, but it doesn't stop them. Once the pain is gone, they just keep going. Why, because their mind is the master. The mind is the Master, how we feel, it doesn't matter. So what happened to us. What happened to the part of us that how we felt it just didn't matter, because we wanted more than anything else, what happened to that part of us well, probably, maybe, what happened is as we've gotten older, our minds aren't the Masters anymore. Our bodies are the master. What does that mean. Well, have you ever had a feeling. Never had a feeling like I asked you how you felt. Right now, you know the beginning of this, how did you feel on people. How do you feel right now. How much of that, of how you feel, is what you're thinking, or even what you were thinking yesterday or the day before. Now if you have the curiosity around giving yourself a break and giving yourself some time to just realize that you're doing the best that you can with what you have. I just really want you to just see this, and maybe see if it's true for you that you have thoughts that produce emotions, which produce feelings. So if for example you thought, I can't do that, Or I don't want to do that, or you know what, I don't feel like it. Even that thought produces emotions that are in there correspond with those thoughts, which then result in a particular feeling in your body, which then tells your mind that you were right for having the thought in the first place so then you have the same thought. And it just keeps going and going and going. This is what social media is is really all about, it's really all about finding out what it is that you want to look at, keep giving you more of what you want to look at, so you keep thinking and feeling the same stuff, so you keep repeating what you were doing before, rather than breaking the cycle of being new. And that's what my work is all about breaking the cycle of being new, and becoming more within you, based on who it is that you actually want to become. And I believe that can happen quite fast, I believe it can happen as soon as you actually decide that it is, that's what it is that you want to, is it possible, right now we talk about how to trick your brain to realize that your mind is playing tricks on you
Pete Cohen 21:20
by tricking you into thinking, and then feeling something. If you want to start maybe conquering is too strong a word but maybe it is. It's to have something to aim for. Have something to go for to reinvent yourself, you know, a couple of weeks ago, I presented at an event. And there was a young man there that many people in the UK will know about very soon, if they don't know about him already his name Steven Bartlett, is the youngest youngest dragon on Dragon's Den equivalent of Shark Tank all around the world think he's 29 think he was about 50, such a wise man, and he talked I introduced him, And he just said I was pursuing myself. I was pursuing myself, and I had to afterwards just stop him and say can you explain to me what you meant by that, please. He just said when I was a young boy 1415 years old I knew who I needed to become. And even though my mum didn't talk to me for two and a half years because I dropped out of university. She thought she knew best. I decided what was right for me. And to me that's what Gandhi said to be the change that you want to see in the world. Because once you know who you need to be. It's much easier to act in accordance with that. Otherwise, we just seem to wait for a disaster, we seem to wait for something to go wrong before we kind of rise up, you know, and this, this is why I created this this 30 Day program that many people have heard about it's like a challenge. We've had 6000 people registered for this, and a 3.5% of people have completed. Now why, you know, maybe people do it, having known a little bit about what I've done and the people that I've helped over the years. And actually, I'm just going to play you this for a few seconds so you can just hear this just a few people here, talking about what they have achieved in 30 days but it's the tricks that our mind plays on us because we can start something with good intentions, and 1000s of years ago there was an Sanskrit word in ancient in the first written words, that means the heroic effort of starting something hero in the beginning. It's fascinating. The human beings find it really hard to stick at things, yet there's more opportunities, more possibilities than ever in the history of man. I just want to share with you some of what some of the people and you're going to hear from, from some of these people, these are literally from all over the world.
Unknown Speaker 24:18
My life wasn't miserable. It wasn't that I was out and about and dumb in the gutter, you know what I was just asleep. I was not conscious. I was playing a small game. And you can't play a small game and want to impact anyone. You can't do it, you need to play a big game. You need to get people involved in your life and you really need to connect to play a big game and make an impact. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can sleep all day and do nothing and just spend money.
Unknown Speaker 24:52
My biggest achievement has been the ability to love the person that I'm becoming.
Unknown Speaker 24:58
I started my dream business, and I've turned that business I've built that business from the ground up into something really successful,
Unknown Speaker 25:06
that would say to anybody do this program to understand that life is now in the future that you want is something you can really create you don't have to postpone, getting there, you can start getting there right
Unknown Speaker 25:18
now. Definitely more confidence, less fear more organization or Pete says every day about writing the book of your life and being the author and I'm really understanding that now so I'm understanding every single day is, is an opportunity to wake up and write another page in my life,
Unknown Speaker 25:32
the Kickstarter was like a door, just opening to my right, that I opened the door and went through and it opened up this whole new world for me, I love the program, it was so clearly laid out. It took me on an amazing journey of self discovery. I see my whole life changing, but for the better and I don't mean that in a materialistic way, I mean just as a person, as a inside you person, it changes you. And for the better.
Unknown Speaker 26:04
The biggest thing that the program gave to me was just allowing me to finally become more consistent in my life, like just having to consistently do something for 30 days and it forces you to follow through, like with yourself and really be true to yourself every
Unknown Speaker 26:19
day challenge has been absolutely incredible. It's changed my life in so many ways I feel like a duck in my head is now known, and I make sure that I listen and understand and make sure that it is a little more positive on those days where I'm down. I make sure that I kickstart what I'm doing a little more and I really focused in on the things that I need to get done, I feel the structure is amazing, I love the journaling, and I really feel I have a clear vision of my future.
Unknown Speaker 26:50
I've actually got my confidence built right back up to the point that I've been able to put the finishing touches on my manuscript. I've submitted them to my publisher. I've managed to finish a course and secure attention. I've just started to find myself again and flourishes, feeling a bit uneasy and unsettled and almost not knowing where to start and go and yes what the kickstart programs are running the kickstart word, just got me going and kicked me up the backside and said just go get it going. I've
Unknown Speaker 27:22
integrated it into my life and my objectives and where I'm going. And it has changed. It's changed the way I think about a lot of things. It's changed my mindset. It's changed my view of the future. And also I'm using that with my children, and they're in their teens and I'm constantly saying, Oh, you'd be saying to them, listen to this thing that Pete says it's amazing we as a family have learned a lot from it.
Pete Cohen 27:48
It wasn't that I was out and about and dumb in the gutter, you know what I was just asleep. I was not conscious. I stay in a small game. And you can't play a small game and want to impact anyone. You can't do it, you need to play a big game. You need to get people involved in your life and you really need to connect to play a big game and make an impact. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can sleep all day and do nothing and just spend money. That's what I used to do. And I tell you what, if you haven't heard of it, you heard it now. Get onto it. Try it. Actually no, don't try it, commit it to it, you feel it in your heart, and it just wouldn't be for you, it would be for those around you, I can tell you because you know what, I put an offer in a house that wasn't even for sale. While it's mine. And that's just one of the benefits. The other benefit is, I'm just going into my future self with ease and flow, love and gratitude, and with a program that can help you change your life, it's here live in document.
Pete Cohen 29:00
Pretty awesome, right, and you know it's real. I just still find it fascinating to this day, that why more people wouldn't take advantage of this program, or the advantage of so many things that exist out there for people, where people just still want to go back to what is familiar to them and it's, I, I grapple with it, I still try and understand. But that's my own. That's my own stuff, that's my own thoughts, I have to respect the fact that people are where they are, and when they're ready, maybe they will change. There's just so much more for humans to experience. So how to trick your mind is to realize there's a part of you that wants you to stay where you are. That doesn't want you to evolve doesn't want you to stand out just wanted to stay away within your zone of comfort. But when we hear that expression nothing grows in your comfort zone. I don't think anything grows without pushing through without moving through life is motion. I really encourage you to take a few moments. Of course you can do my 30 Day kickstart, anyone can do it, just go to mi365 dot me. Maybe we should we were talking the other day where you should charge 1000 pounds for it and so let's 1000 pounds, if you get to the end we'll give you your money back. Who knows. But the fact is it does make a difference to so many people and it could make a difference to your life. It's not the answer of course it's not the answer. The answer is you, and realizing there's more to you than meets the eye. So in summary, if your mind is playing tricks on you, how do you think your mind will step back to step back and observe the experience and realize that how you're thinking and how you're feeling is still a choice. It might seem so automatic to you, but that's because you've practiced that. One of my best experiences of my entire life was presenting to the 25,000 plus people in Vegas, talking about thinking Grow Rich and I didn't know this, but Napoleon Hill, his grandson was in the audience. And for those of you that don't know Think and Grow Rich, of all the books that entrepreneurial people have read, you can bet that that's got to be in the top one. And for me that book really was a massive game changer. And I talked about the 2% of people that Napoleon Hill talked about, who had a definiteness of purpose they knew what they wanted and I, and I thought at the time I really believe what he meant by that was the 2% of people who knew what they wanted to achieve, like making something or building a business or buying a house or finishing a book or. And that's what I thought that's what I was talking about. And afterwards, Napoleon Hill's grandson came up to me and he had we had a conversation and he basically said that that's not what Napoleon Hill meant in my copy of thinking grow rich you can see a picture of Gandhi in Napoleon Hill talks about him, but really what he was talking about was that he believed that 2% of people knew who they knew who they needed to become. And that was very clear to them they identified with who they could be in the future. And honestly, just take a moment you know that in your mind you could go back to your younger self giving your younger self, what your younger self and if you could go back in time, you could say something to your former self, what would you say, What did your younger self need back then.
Pete Cohen 32:44
We can all imagine that and that's often an exercise that is used in therapy. But what about your future self. Who's wiser than us stronger than you better than you.
Pete Cohen 33:04
If that you came back, right now, from the future, a year, five years, came back over that you say dear. Just what if you could take guidance from who you're becoming with every decision that you make, or at least more of the decisions that you make you do it in alignment with who you becoming. It's one of the most powerful things I've ever done in my life. I do every day. I can get better at it I'm getting better at it. And I know you can too. How to trick your mind realize that your mind is playing a trick on you, could you laugh, could you smile at what you're thinking, of course you can. Could you realize that there's more to you. Could you step back and realize that there's a different choice that you can make with every choice and every decision that is going to be in front of you. Is it possible that you could get excited about what's in front of you. Absolutely. I'd love to know what your biggest takeaway is from what I've said to you here today and I really appreciate you listening, cuz you can listen to who you want to become. Not now. But right now.