23 Dec, 2021#177 A Special Mi365 Christmas Episode
“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” – Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym
A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The world distracts us by providing instant hits of gratification. We find it difficult to appreciate processes that would bring us true fulfillment. This is our reality now.
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Some important stories in this episode:
- (7:03) Ronnie O’Sullivan’s story of becoming more than his trauma.
- (17:18) Who I want to become and how I constantly and consciously work hard to be that person.
- (21:11) How I resonate with what Stephen Covey said in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, that human beings have the inability to prioritize, to organize.
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About Pete Cohen:
Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.
Pete is the author of 19 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years. His new book Inspirators – Leading The Way In Leadership is available for free here –
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Pete Cohen 0:01
Happy beautiful day. It's Pete Cohen. it's the Mi365 podcast and this is my very special Christmas edition of the Mi365 podcast. Happy Christmas and we'll see you after the theme tune.
Pete Cohen 0:0
Happy Beautiful day it's Pete Cohen This is my favorite. My favorite Christmas song. The only Christmas song I like hearing all the year round
Pete Cohen 1:18
so this is my Christmas message the Christmas Mi365 podcast. It's fascinating. Obviously recording there's a little bit before Christmas. But you know what's really fascinating is how early on they're playing Christmas songs. You know in November they were playing Christmas songs. I was selling Christmas stuff whenever they were selling it because it's all about manipulating people to buy stuff that they really don't need. That's really not going to make that much difference. Now I sound like humbug. But you know what? I like Christmas because it's the time for me where I do my deepest work. It's the time for me where I like to do the opposite of what people do. That doesn't mean I don't celebrate and enjoy. I just really like when people are. I don't know what it is about me. I've always wanted to do the opposite of what the masses are doing. I remember someone saying to me once if you want success, observe, observe the masses and then do the complete opposite. And I think that's so true. You really if you look at what success is, I mean, it depends what success really means to you. It means different things to different people. But for me, success is self mastery. If I'm mastering myself and I feel I'm advancing and I'm focusing, you know, and I feel like I'm just getting better. That that's that's that's what success is to me. And ultimately I was going to ask you the question, where do you think you'll be this time next year? You know if I could see you this time next year? Where is it that you'd be? Is it quite possible that you'd be in a very similar place to where you are right now? Is it possible that the new year's resolution Oh, that's what we should call it because the resolution for me is just something that goes round in a circle. Whereas a revelation or revelation you use revelation, I've never even thought of that. A new year's resolution revolution. That's what we want guys. We want a revolution. You know, a revolution is where it that's it you know, you never go back. You never go back. And most people just have this habit of going back to what is familiar to them and I'm not here to tell anyone that's right or it's wrong because it's really none of my business. My business is being the best that I can be. I'm fascinated by people what we're capable of what we can do. But you know, if we're talking about the Christmas message, like our queen gives a Christmas message every this might be will be her last I don't know. I don't know how much energy that she has left in her. She has been doing the job that she's been doing for a very, very long time. God bless her soul. God save all gracious queen. I don't know why I'm saying that. What I'm really fascinated when it comes to human beings is what we say and what we do. And when we look at the world right now, I don't know when you look at the world what words would you use to describe the world right now? You don't have to judge it or analyze it. What words would you say what what is going on in the world right now? You know, I believe in my lifetime, there's never been more fear in the world right now. There's never been more uncertainty. There's never been more doubt. There's never been more depression. There's never been more suicide. There's never been more who knows? I mean, it's just it's just the world is not what it was. And while the war what will the world be Now ultimately, all of this points to one thing for Pete Cohen. The one thing as an alternate as a as an optimist, I must admit I'm definitely spending a little bit of time questioning a few things that are going on but ultimately it all just comes down to one thing. Who do I want to be? Regardless of everything that's going on? Who do I want to be? What can I do? I think that the world has given me a very clear message to decide more than ever. Who do I want to be? How do I want to be defined through what we're going through? And let's face it, I don't think any of us necessarily would have asked for what is happening to be happening, but it's happening. I don't know how many of our ancestors asked for the First World War that the Second World War, you know, the people that live in countries where terrible things happen.
Pete Cohen 5:49
I just think that this is our time. This is our calling to decide what who do we want to be in probably some of the biggest transitions that the world has ever seen. As challenging as this might be. I personally believe there's never been a more important time for us to focus. There's never been a more important time for us to decide really what's important. And one of the things that we've been working on we've had an incredible year right as a business in terms of what our business stands for, to inspire people to to become more to inspire people to step into who they are, what they do what they're about to get better at. We've had a fantastic year. You know, we launched this program in January. We've had 7000 people more go through the program. And of course, you know, not many people complete the program, even though it's free. 3.5% of people completed it, you know, and it's it's all about knowing who you could be in this world. I've said it on other podcasts before luck. If an athlete comes to work with me, you know, I've had this privilege of working with lots of world champions, and you sit with them and you talk with them. Ronnie O'Sullivan right now who's competing in the UK championships is in the quarterfinals. I remember when he came to work with me. And I had that conversation with them. So what do you want and he couldn't tell me what he wanted. He just told me what was wrong. You know, he's a great player. He was just telling me how bad he felt he didn't want to play and I let him speak. I let him talk. I let him he was supposed to come for two hours. He came to us three days. You know, and I just gave him the space for him to kind of make sense of where he was and what was going on. I mean, this is a guy his father, you know, killed someone when Ronnie was 14 years old, went to prison, got a life sentence. You know, and every time Ronnie was playing, he was playing for his father and every time he lost he felt he'd let his dad down. That's a lot of trauma. That's a lot to carry. But at some point, he decided to rise up above that and become more than that. And to now he's now he's six times sneaker world champion. When I worked with him, he was one then he won it for the second time. He won three tournaments back to back. But the conversation I had with him after a while we got to the point so Ronnie, what do you want? He said I just want to be the best I can be. I said, How would you know you were the best that you could be? And we talked about that he could see it. I said Ronnie, that person is not you. It's not you that person. That person is different to you. And I asked Ron it's just one of the first things that we were talked about when we really got to the heart of helping someone as a coach go from where they are to where they want to be is knowing where where do you want to be if you don't know where you want to be, you're going to end up someplace else. And maybe some people do know where they want to be but they don't identify with the person they would be in that future. They don't. That's why people give up if you knew what was possible if you could be transported into the future and you could see how life how much your life would be better. As a consequence of you doing the work. You do the work.
Pete Cohen 8:50
I think most people would but they don't know they don't use their imagination. They don't have a relationship to their future. And we know this from studies which have shown that when you ask people to think about themselves in the future, they don't identify they don't see themselves they see a stranger. You know, they just identify with what's now. And if you identify with what's now then you're in trouble. Because there's too much in the moment that's taking you to a place that you don't want to go it's social distraction it's social media, that is manipulating the minds of people, whether we like or not, it's here. It's one of the most dangerous things on earth. It's here to view our we are a commodity to social media. We're being bought by the highest by the people who prepare to pay the highest price and we have to decide we don't have to decide, you know, I'm just I think everything is pointing to one thing Who do you want to be in this world? What will be your greatest achievement? Let me ask you that question. As someone who cares for you, whoever you are, wherever you are in the world, what will be your greatest achievement not what has been forget what has been your husband, I'm a husband. You know, people say to me, tell me about what you've done and it's like, really? Okay, I'll tell you but it's really not that important. It's because it's done. And I sometimes I do think okay, you've done a lot, you know, written 20 books and you've worked with all these people and you're a PE teacher on your aerobics instructor and you've done all these things, but so what it's done, what am I going to do with what I've got? And with Ronnie? You know, it was literally I said that you were saying you in the future you is who is a better player you is a better person human being is saying yes to things right now that you're saying no to and that future you're saying no to things that you're saying yes to. And one of the first things I really got into the habit of doing was to start exercising consistently because he wasn't he'd be like that typical person that will put on some weight in a New Year. lose a bit of weight but don't not enjoy it be bored and give up. I thought it was helpful that, you know, just down the road from me. A Sally Gunnell lives who is an Olympic gold medalist, one of the most successful athletes in history, and I got Ronnie to start running with her. That helped, you know, because it's not what you know, it's who you know. And that's one of our goals for 2022 is we launched the start one stop one challenge. We're looking for people who genuinely want to decide make the decision, right make the decision of who they want to be. Right and and see it like it's just you're an actor, right and you're going to play that part. You're just gonna get into the role every day. Yep. For some people, it might be a bit boring and mundane and sometimes you won't feel like it. But you fall in love with the process and you fall in love with who you're becoming. You're in an environment that supports your growth. I mean, what's the point of doing what we do if we don't look to take it to the next level? You know, I can't. Sometimes I wish I could make people look at things differently. You know, but I can't I can't make people look at anything. differently. I can encourage, I can inspire. I see a lot of people just being very passive. And that's fine. Just thinking that it's it's just going to be okay. And for the first time in my life, I'd say to people, I don't think that's a really good idea. I think right now we need to train for what's coming. We need to make the decision and we need to focus and that's what I want to talk about. Just for a little bit. I really want to talk about focusing. And we talk about what's the most valuable commodity in the world. People say their health or I'd say yeah, I'd say it's your attention. It's your ability to focus your ability to put your attention on what you want, when you want for how long you want to put it on there for your ability to put your focus of attention on the only thing that matters. You know, our goal is to really help people focus on who they want to be. And then using willpower to install habits that run on autopilot. You know? Because ultimately, our attention is massively fragmented. I often think to myself, if I could go back in time, 3040 years, who would I be? And how would I want to impact the world back then? Because obviously, technology wasn't what it was then. Who would I be? How would I show up in the world?
Pete Cohen 13:54
And I know that I would do a lot of what I was doing now but I know I'd probably get more done because there'd be less distraction. Being so good that they just can't ignore you. Last night, we had a late night, you know, we we were at raising money for the Coco's Foundation. We were well we were a quiz. It wasn't hard work or anything but it was a late night. But still I got up at four o'clock in the morning. Still I came downstairs and did an hour of just deep work. Just connecting to really what is important to me, which is to learn to grow to teach. That's how I film my first hour of the day. My second hour of the day is exercising. Do I feel like doing it? No, but it helps me to not always, but I feel amazing right now, but I want to be able to focus my attention. And if honestly, if you don't learn how to focus your attention, your attention is going to be fragmented. And a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. In my book, a wandering mind that that finds it hard to focus is an unhappy mind. And why do we think so many people are unhappy right now? Because their attention is fragmented. All over the place. Is it the time or when will be the time for you to show the world really what you're really all about? When we look at the ultimate goal, this is one of the things that we are going to be helping lots of people and we will continue to do this. People that go through our goal setting process, which we've adapted and changed and I'll just talk you through it really quickly. Look we're all goal orientated right every single one of us we are everything we do is for is for an outcome is for an aim everything we just That's who we are. That's how human beings have survived. It's like what's the goal? Okay, let's, let's make that happen. Let's work towards that. It's just a lot of us have sacrificed I think goals which will give us our greatest achievement to just little goals that just give us something in the moment whether it's a packet of crisps or a glass of wine or you know, watching a YouTube video that really isn't particularly inspiring, just to because we're looking for something, we're looking for a hit, we want to hit of something, rather than looking for a real deep hits of fulfillment and contribution and growth. But for me, and I don't know whether this applies to you my ultimate goal, the goal of my soul, the goal of my spirit is to leave this world in a better place than when I came here and that's what I want to do. I want to touch the lives of as many people as I possibly can I want to close the gaps between where I am and where I'm where I'm seriously believe I'm capable and what I'm capable of becoming. I was yesterday I was talking to a guy I went for, into the steam room. And I was talking to this guy that about the metaverse and he was like he couldn't, couldn't believe some of the things I was saying. And I asked him something he told me he was 56 and basically he said, How old are you? I said, I'm 52 in in 2022 He went what he thought I was like 30 You know, and as a compliment to me, because I'm I want to get younger. As I get older. I want to get wiser. But my ultimate goals for you've heard my ultimate goals but then they fall into three categories and this is what we want to help people do it's very simple, but ultimately, it's very powerful. When we look at the most important areas of life, I think they revolve around three areas right? If all I had to do was give you the perfect life, I would bet that that would revolve around three areas your health and your energy, right. We know how important that is. Sigmund Freud talked about you know, the love and work being the two most important areas of life. I agree but without health, you might as well forget about it. And a lot of people's health is not in a great place right underlying health conditions. 7.3 million people in the Great Britain on antidepressant medication in America 97.3% of Americans are unhealthy by four basic measures. It's like observing the masses and do the opposite as create new normals. So health is important, right? If I could wave the magic wand give you better health, I'm sure you'd say But then a few of you would say no, I don't want you to give it to me. I want to do the work. And if you want to do the work Come on. Come join us start one stop one challenge. Do you want to do the work I'll, I'll support you. I'll be your coach. I'll give you the environment. I'll give you the tools but if you want to do the work, I can't do it for you. But I'll definitely want to be a part of your process. So for me with my health, it's you know, it's to be a world class athlete. That's my ultimate goal. A world class athlete athlete of what of life of life
Pete Cohen 18:42
you know, I can deal with what's coming, I'm strong. I'm getting stronger. What about you? You know what's what's that name that you would give yourself you with better health and well being what name would you give yourself? For me it's world class athlete. With with with my relationships. That's the second area that relationships and love that's really what that second area is about that most people would want to improve upon. For me, it's definitely being the perfect soulmate. And not just to my wife, but to every one being a soul mate. You know, that's why a lot of people who hear me speak and spend time with me they feel my soul or because I'm your soulmate. You know, I'm here, I'm here for you. I've got to be here for myself, right. And then the third area is my work and my service and my wealth. And that's the step Mr. inspirator. Right. That's me, Mr. inspirator to inspire. So that's who I aspire to be. What about you? This is what we're going to help people do. Work out who you aspire to be then we'll help you work out what are the virtues that you need, that that you embodies you in the future? So it's obvious right with exercise, you know, it's discipline, its determination, its commitment is focus. You know, these are key things that okay, these are the virtues that I have to I'm embodying in my future. Okay, well, how do I do that every day. Bring it back to today. What needs to be done? What's the process? You've heard this all before? But now's the time to do it and move beyond the honeymoon period move beyond the the Indian Sanskrit word of starting something and not completing it. This is what we're gonna do. And you know, normally when it when I, when we do a Christmas message, you know, it's it's more maybe it's a little bit more upbeat. You know, but I think Christmas this year, it's going to be very, very, very different for a lot of people. I think the people around the world are really not too bothered about Christmas. I don't think it's going to have the impact that it's had because we're going through massive transition as a world. And as I said before, so much fear and worry and doubt. There's so much going on. But ultimately, what can we do about it? What can we do with what we have? I was reading this morning, you know, I don't know how many of you have come across the book by the by Stephen Covey The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and he talks about human beings having this inability to prioritize, right, or to organize and then prioritize or the discipline to execute. And I think there's so much truth in that. But I just think ultimately, what what a lot of people haven't done is they just haven't really gone deeply within themselves. And really said, This is what I really want to achieve. This is really what I want to do. And I was talking about this yesterday. I was I was I was on Patti Dhaba valskis podcast yesterday. And I was thinking about what's the greatest quality of a human being well, for me, it's a it is about being inspired. It's that energy, that we all have to be inspired about something that is in front of us. Right? And that's why consumerism knows that is to put something in front of you like chocolate, crisps, alcohol, social media, put something in front of you that is eye candy, something that hooks you and that might give you a hit. But what's going to give you the greatest hit of all, is it not going to be who you actually become. So, I I personally invite you, personally invite you to join the start one stop one challenge. It's a year it's a year long. That's a long time for a lot of people. But it's not going to be something that is all consuming. It's going to be with diligent patient practice. Just bringing out something in you that has probably been wanting to come out it's come out and glimpses but now's the time for it to come out. Like never before.
Pete Cohen 23:11
You know when I think about what I wanted, what I'm going to play to you now this was something I always wanted. I you know, I used to love listening to I've been listening to tapes, you know, I start off listening to tapes and CDs of Jim Rohn Les Brown, all these famous people, Robert Kiyosaki. And then I was asked not long ago, a couple of years ago now for my for some of these YouTube company's YouTube channels to use my voice and it was like really? Wow, I'm definitely going to use that. Just listen to the words here for a moment. Check this out. Ready? One second. Here we go. If you want an unchanging life, there's one beautiful place where if nothing changes, that you're great.
Unknown Speaker 24:06
In order for us to begin to break into that level of greatness that we have within ourselves, you have to make a conscious choice every day to expose your mind to positive messages.
Unknown Speaker 24:17
It's time for you to be the hero in your own journey. Your future is unwritten and you have the power to change. Work ethic is part of the equation if you're unhappy if you're trying to get out of something that you're not thrilled about the extra reps in the gym matter. The extra studying at night matters and the extra hours working on your thing matter.
Unknown Speaker 24:47
So when you look at yourself, and you look into the future, what do you see? What do you see yourself doing differently? Who will be with you who will be around you? Will it be alive for contribution, alignment, adventure, life of excitement? What will be different about you? Whatever you see, it's important that you take responsibility to become the kind of person that can produce those results.
Unknown Speaker 25:12
We shape rethink, we position ourselves. Where do you want your life to go from? Now,
Unknown Speaker 25:20
if you're in trouble today, the crisis is in your head. Now that's the bad news. The good news. You can change the price by changing what's inside your head.
Unknown Speaker 25:32
Now in most cases, what it takes for us to shift and make that move is a crisis is a trauma is a diagnosis and something inside us comes alive. That was often dormant. When called for something, we can do great things.
Unknown Speaker 25:52
I value myself enough to give 120% Or don't do it. That's the problem with some of you. You always want to blame other people. You want to hold other people to the fire but you're not holding yourself to the fire. You just say you give a 50% You owe you an explanation. You owe you an explanation. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and say why you only given 50% What's wrong with you. You need to put yourself on punishment. You walk out of this room you owe yourself I didn't get here making excuses.
Pete Cohen 26:23
So amazing. Thank you so much for letting me share that with you and thank you for listening to the podcast. I genuinely wish every single one of you a happy Christmas you know whatever that means to you and Merry Christmas. You know Christmas is a time where people often well, for a lot of people, it's about giving. It's it's for a lot of people it's about Jesus Christ. For me, Jesus was an amazing human being. For me Jesus was a rebel, a rebel with a cause. And as a child I was very rebellious but I didn't have a cause. I didn't have a cause worth fighting for. But now I do. I'm a rebel with a serious cause to inspire people to rise up and find something within themselves that they know is there. The genius within every human being the NCOs to do it with enthusiasm and Theo's the God within within you that can do incredible things when you put your mind to it. The challenge that you're always going to have is that duck in your head, or whatever you want to call it. The part of you that just says you know what, adjust can't be bothered. I just want to conform, conform to what I know conformed to who I was, rather than deciding to create a new identity. A new personality. That's what personality that's what identity is really for me. It's about who you're choosing to become and I invite you in 2022 to choose to be more to become more and come join us. Come join the start one start one challenge. If you're hard enough, the question is are you ready? Let's get ready to rumble have a fantastic Christmas. Thank you so much for being a part of what we've been doing. And I'm excited to continue this process with you guys in 2022.