13 Dec, 2022How To Use Your Mind To Get What You Want in 2023
“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your mind.” – Wayne Dyer
The year is near its end and, for most people, this is the time to think about resolutions and make changes. However, have you really looked at yourself and thought about what your thoughts and actions have resulted in?
Have you mismanaged yourself and ended up living a life you do not want? What if I told you that you can change your situation and that you have a tool within you that can boost your life?
Tune in and learn how you can use your mind to create what you want in the coming year. It is time to stop being a victim and start becoming the person you want to be.
⚡️ The prefrontal cortex of the brain is an experience simulator that allows us to think, predict and see what an idea might be like.
⚡️ The mind goes to where it is easily more entertained unless you decide what to do with it.
⚡️ The purpose of a goal is to engage our mind in a process to where you want to go.
⚡️ Happiness gives us contentment.
🔥 To create what you want, you must:
- understand that the mind is a tool that can let you do amazing things
- step back, observe the experience of being you, and accept yourself
- find humor in what you think
- think about what you really want in life, what is important to you and commit to it
- connect with the person you want to be
- create new personal realities with new personalities
- decide to be happy and do not pin happiness on what you do not have control over
🎯 11:16 Gaining a different perspective from my coach
🎯 20:02 An experience simulator exercise
🎯 22:52 Stepping into your experience simulator
🎯 25:31 Natural and synthetic happiness
🎯 25:41 The American dream from a taxi driver’s perspective
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About Pete Cohen: Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
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Pete is the author of 20 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years.
Pete Cohen 0:00
Happy beautiful day. It's Pete Cohen it's the Future Self Podcast. today's podcast is called How To Use Your Mind To Get What You Want in 2023. I'll see you after the theme tune.
Happy beautiful day. It's the Future Self Podcast.
You can't always get what you want. Especially as Come on. It's a festive time of year. Can you you can't always get what you want if what happens if you try Well, I want to I want it to get what I want. Surely that's Happiness
Is that true? If you keep trying, you're gonna get what you need. So obviously it's a special time of year for a lot of people are taking time to sit back. Maybe reflect. But is it true? You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, is it possible that you might just get what you need? Well, I suppose it's sort of up to us to decide. The podcast today is how to use your mind to create what you want. But I suppose just like anything, exactly. Do you want
to really, really, really, really I want to zig a zig are does anyone know what Zig Zig are actually is? So I think it's really important to think about what you want. I mean, when you were young. What did you want? What did you want for Christmas? I think one of the things we know that is definitely happening in the world is there's too much choice. And I don't know I think I really would have struggled if people had given me loads and loads and loads and loads of presents that literally I would not have been satisfied. With with one thing because I'd always be looking at the next thing. And I think that's one of the reasons why there are a lot of issues in the world around mental health is there's just way too many choices. And we're not designed to live in a world where we are consumed or being distracted or being sold to so many things. You know, the way we've evolved is really quite simple. We evolved to eat to have sex and just to keep this thing moving. But we have really moved on since then and in what this podcast what I'd like to discuss with you today is What are you doing with your mind and where is your mind actually taking you? When we look at the brain, the brain 2 million years ago, it weighed about one and a quarter pound. Whereas now our brains weigh about three pounds. Right so massively changed massively bigger, but with the bigger brain a bigger brain. There are more systems that have come into form. One of those is the prefrontal lobe, the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the frontal lobe. And what a lot of people don't know about about this part of the brain is you know this but what I'm about to tell you it's just making you aware of something you already know. You know, this part of the brain is amazing because really, it is what we call an experience simulator, that human beings have this incredible opportunity. Imagine this right? Imagine if you were wanted to be a pilot, and they said hey, listen, what we're going to do is we're just going to put you straight in a plane, and we're just gonna sit you there and just drive the bloody thing. Okay, off you go. Right. If you're a pilot, would you've just said or trainee pilot, would you say Hang on a second? I'm not sure that's a good idea. Can we just kind of simulate this experience, first of all, and that's why there are flight simulators. They weren't always you know, but now there are so you have the opportunity to simulate what you're actually doing so that when you actually come to do it, you feel like you've already done it. And that's part of the gift that human beings have, right if we think of all of the amazing things that we can do and done right coming down from the trees, being able to use our thumbs, being able to sing and dance and do all the amazing things that we can do. Having this part of our brain is truly incredible because what we can do with our brain is we can think about things and we can predict and we can see what that might be like, isn't that not incredible? You know, this is the Future Self Podcast. So in the Future Self Podcast, what we're really looking to do is to help people look at the future in a different way to how they're currently looking at it. Because what most people are doing and the science really kind of backs this up is that most people don't know the future. I mean, everyone knows the future but how far away do we know the future? If I said, What are you doing tonight? What are you doing tomorrow? What are you doing next week, you probably know you probably have an idea of who that person is and what you'll be doing. But beyond that, for most people most of the time. Most people don't know themselves six months. A year down the line. And if you don't know that person, why would you invest in them? We don't have empathy, human beings. We don't tend to have empathy for people that we don't know. But when we know something, it becomes real to us. And we have this amazing opportunity. Now how many of you that listen to this podcast would put your hand up and say you know what? Yep, I do miss manage myself sometimes. I do miss manage myself sometimes. Because we've been given this incredible equipment and how many people would say would also put a hand up and say, You know what, I don't use the equipment. I've been given as well as I possibly could. You know, I might be limited in some way shape or form, but I'm still not making the most of what I have. And if you're one of those people, then it's amazing. If you if you realize I'm not making the most of what I have, but let me ask you a question. Do you want to do anything about that? Is that something you want to address? Is that something you want to change? Because you can change of course you can change. I mean, look at what you've already changed. When you look at the evolution of us. You can see how much we have changed. We've got these big brains, and you look at what people are doing with these brains. I mean, the microphone that I'm speaking right now to you on the phone that is in front of me this piece of equipment, this computer that was all simulated in the mind of someone else. And I don't know who it was that said All things are created twice. I think it was Wayne Dyer, who said first in your mind, and then in reality, so we you know our mind, we have this opportunity to see how something might end up being and most people are massively Miss managing themselves through no fault of their own, or just not knowing better. And there is this something there's something that is now known as the impact bias. And this is really fascinating because what most people don't realize is they they're not realizing the impact of what they're actually doing long term, even though deep down I think we probably do know, but it's some part of our brain. We're living in denial. Would you agree? Again, I can't speak for everybody because I haven't met everybody. But what we seem to see is that most people are living what is known as a D fault future. And all that means is that they do have a relationship to a future, but they don't want to talk about it. They're scared. They're thinking, I don't want this to happen. And I don't want to end up like that. And they're scared of it. I remember as a child I was so scared of my parents not being here I was consumed by those thoughts. And I would in my mind using my experience simulator that I'd been given to paint this worst case scenario, and I think about it a lot. And you know what, I think I really missed out on enjoying my parents as much as I could have because I was frightened of losing them. Now, I'm sure I'm not alone. It's just the mismanagement of the mind. What is the mind? Well, the mind really is your brain in action. You know, so much of what we do is conscious. A lot of what we do is unconscious you know, you don't have to consciously think about your heart working right now or your your nervous system or the blood being pumped to different parts of your body. You don't have to think about that. You don't have to think about the diet. I mean, imagine if you did, you'd be completely consumed because there's so many things that are going on, that you don't even have to think about. They're working for you. But what we really think about how we're thinking and how we're feeling and how we're acting and how that's shaping what's going on, and that's where it starts to get really interesting. And I'm really, really curious with everyone who listens to this podcast, we have people that listen to this podcast all over the world. It's seven years old. And I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this to the next level. Are you are you ready to you know to make this year coming the best year you've ever had? No, we've all heard that before and so let's make this a New Year's resolution. That would be a good idea. Revolution is a damn sight better than a resolution. I mean, just go and look at the word resolution in the dictionary and see what it means. The resolution is when one part goes up against another part. You're going against yourself. And that's what most people do. We go against ourselves and many of you have heard me say this on the podcast before that by the time we're about nine, sorry, by the time we're about 95 years old. By the time we're about 35 years old 95% of who we are, is pretty much kind of set we think it's set with fixed into who we think we are. We are very much a set of conditioned responses and attitudes and beliefs, hugely predictable. And we think this is it, this is me. And then we start to over consume we become a slave to who we were rather than realizing that you can change but often it's 5% of us that is going up against 95% of us and it just doesn't work. Most people today are trying to create new personal realities. They want things to be different, but they're doing it with the same personality. They're doing it the same way. And unless we stop and look which is one of the hardest things to do for human beings just to stop. Maybe this is a good time of year to not judge not criticize, not blame or shame just stop. Just look at what's working. What are the results that you're producing? You see, the thing about the mind is the mind really is the brain in action. When we see what we're producing in our life. It's often a direct result of what we're doing with our mind. And this is what I learned from my coach years ago. You know, I had a coach for 16 years. He was like Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. He was from the Philippines. It was a short guy. But he was very sure and himself. He spent years traveling, working with world hunger, living with indigenous people and seeing how people move through the world. And the stories that he told me and what he shared with me. It shaped the way it changed the way I thought he gave me a different perspective of everything in life, and I'm so grateful for that he's not here anymore, but I never forget when he said to me once Pete what's the nature of the mind? You know, and I kind of gave him an answer because, you know, I studied psychology and kind of laughed at me and he said, No, no, no, the nature of the mind is the mind plays tricks on you.
So what do you mean? He said, Well, think about what you're doing with your mind. How many times do you think someone's talking about you think you've made a mistake or you want to exercise but there's there's a part of your brain has gout don't do that. There's no point doing that. That's not gonna work. Just do this. Just Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that we're playing tricks. We're playing games with ourselves. And unless we stop and wake up to the results that we're producing and seeing what we're doing with our mind, then we'll either will be a victim of our mind. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a victim of my mind victimize myself enough. I want to be the hero in my own life by stepping back and making some different choices. Is that you? It was then he said, How do you conquer your mind and I kind of once again gave him an answer. And he just smiled at me said that the nature of the mind is how do you conquer your mind is you've got to find a bit of humor and what you think you've got to be able to see the lighter side of what you think. Now we talk about this as the future self or some people call it the higher self the observer, being able to step back and observe the experience of being you. Because if you want to, if you don't do this, what tends to happen is our mind tends to just run away with us and that's the other thing that he said to me is is the mind is a channel. If you put it somewhere and you channel it somewhere and you put it somewhere it can do amazing things for you. But if you don't decide what to do with your mind, your mind will just go where it's gone before or go where it's easily most entertained. We're living in a world. We're not designed to be in the world that we're in. There's way too much information the man who won the Nobel Prize in 1972 basically said there's too much information in the world. And with that information, it's too confusing for people. People don't know where to put their attention and then their attention is being sold to the highest bidder. It's very confusing. Do you not think the mismanagement of that's why it's estimated this 792 million people in the waters was in 2017 before COVID 792 million people in the world that are living with a mental disorder, whether that's depression or anxiety or schizophrenia or bipolar. I mean, what's going on? How much of that to do is, you know, how much of it is genetic? How much of it is conditioning, how much of it is and how much of it is to do with the mismanagement of our mind. It's a fascinating time for all of us to stop. But when we stop and just realize, well, you know, what, what do I actually really, really, really, really want? Because, look, I've said many things on this podcast over the last seven years, and I'm extremely grateful to any of you that have listened to any of them. I mean, even how many episodes we've got, but it's way over 400 episodes which is a monumental achievement, would you not think whether you're listening to the first or the fourth 100 I really appreciate it, but I just figure that right here right now. There has never been a more important time. For us to really think about moving up up
so let's kind of give you something here to really think about
just so do you want to move on up toward your destination? So
Pete Cohen 16:59
what is the destination Well, we know what the destination is we know where we're going.
But I think the challenges and the complication that Kazmir mirfield Curtis Mayfield talks about there is you might find complication by because ultimately what most people will do and be is be very similar to who they are right now, but this time next year, most people
will be in a similar shape. They probably would have had some trials and tribulations and
Pete Cohen 17:37
they probably would have overcome those and there will be a slightly better person for having gone through that. But most people will probably be more unfulfilled, more unhealthy, more unhappy. And there's 792 million people around the world that are living with a mental disorder. That number will massively increase unless we decide to start looking at moving through the world in a different way. So let's just do a quick summary of what we've discussed so far, how to use your mind to create what you want. Well, the first thing is to understand that what your mind is, your mind is a tool. It's a channel, it's the greatest thing you've been given and with your mind, your mind is your brain in action with your brain, which is now a three pound piece of fat. This amazing machinery that you have put your hand up if you think you know what I've mismanaged that a little bit. How many of you would like to manage it differently Well, in order to manage it differently, you've got to do one of the hardest things that anyone will ever do, which is just to step back and observe. Right? You know, when we look at what people have said in history, there have been some amazing things that people have said so who was it that said knowing yourself is is the beginning of all wisdom? Who was it that said that? Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. But it was actually Aristotle and it was two and a half 1000 years ago. But what a lot of people I think misunderstand is he wasn't actually talking about knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. What he was talking about was knowing the person that you can become, because what we all know also what the Greeks taught taught us that everything we do is for the future. Everything is governed by our view of the future, how we see the future if you don't see a future that is exciting and compelling to you. Then you're going to use your mind to get as much pleasure as you can right now to get yourself out of pain and you're just live from day to day. And that's fine. And that's completely up to you. But if you do think that your best days are ahead of you, and you do think that there's stuff you want to do, then stopping and stepping back and looking at what your mind is doing. And if you're able to see through your mind and to see that you actually have a choice. So I think what's killing the world at the moment right now killing so many people. Because as human beings we don't have predators apart from other human beings. And I think what's going to be possibly the end of humanity is people not being humane to each other, but also people being not humane to themselves and realizing what is going on here. How am I being manipulated? How can I use my mind in a more effective way? And we talked about how our brains have changed and as our brains have got bigger, we've got these systems that you're just absolutely incredible and most of us are Miss managing that the pre frontal lobe, the part of our brain where we can we call it the experience simulator. Now imagine I could take you into the simulator and say look, if you if you do this every single day, I'm going to show you where it can take you see most people New Year's resolutions. We don't need resolutions. As I said right at the beginning, let me just close that door. A resolution is when one part goes up against another part. A revolution is when we overthrow when we overthrow something to the point where that thing never existed. That's what we need. We need a revolution of the mind. We need a revolute but we can do that. But it's very hard to have a revolution if you don't see the result of what you're evolving towards what you're moving towards. And with your experience simulator just imagine that for some strange reason that this was the year that you'd actually decided to stop something, whatever that was, and you stopped doing it for a consistent period of time. And I could show you I could show you the result of this. You know I was thinking yesterday. I've said this many times if I said to you, I'll give you a million pounds. If you come and knock on my door every day for a year. How many of you would do it? Most people would do it because in their experience simulator, they're imagining me giving them a million pounds in cash. Right there you go. But then what would happen after you've got that million? Would you be happy? In some ways, I'd say I'll tell you what, I'll don't give that to you. I'll give you a million or if you continue to knock on my door every single day for the rest of your life
when you die. I'll make sure everyone else who you
Pete Cohen 22:07
know, is taken care of forever. How many of you would do that? See, this is where it really gets interesting. Most people are doing what they do because we're goal orientated and we think if I do this, I'm going to get that right rather than what if I exercise? I don't actually see I'm going to get a result. So I'd rather do this because I want the result the cost and the value. But if I could show you and say hey, listen, look, if you stop doing this every single day now, let me show you where it's going to take you let me show you who you would be. Let me show you if you continue to do this where it would take you if you continue to exercise every single day. Let me introduce you to the person that you're going to become when that'd be amazing. You see, the purpose of the goal is to win the game. But it's not the winning of the game that allows us to wins again. It's the process. It's engaging our mind in a process that takes us to where it is that we want to go. Now I can't make you see the future. But I can pretty much do a pretty good job by saying to you don't think about where you're going to be this time next year. Your mind starts to think about that. We have this opportunity right here right now. To go to a place we've not gone before. And the question is, are you ready? Because if you're ready, then you've got to start using your mind in a different way. And I encourage you
as a coach and maybe
Pete Cohen 23:31
some of you actually see me as your coach is to think about what actually do you want right now? In your life? What do you want what's wildly important to you? And if you say, Well, you know what, my health is wildly important to me. Then of course, I'd say Well, let's look at the watts. What do you want to say well, I want to be healthier. I say why? Why do you want to be healthier? What would that do for you? What would that give you? What would that get you we can start using our mind right now we can use the experience in this step into simulator. You ready? Let's stimulate you in the simulator. So let me ask you the question What do you want? Let's talk about your health. Why not? Is your health important? What do you want are you know I want to be healthy. I want to lose this body fat I want better muscle muscle tone. I want to be more flexible. Okay. Why do you want man? What would they give you? What would that get you? Would it do for you? When when exactly do you want this when I want it now? What sorry that's not going to happen. When do you want it? Well,
you can have the feeling of feeling better. Often having just done one exercise session. But when do you want it? Well, you know what? Maybe I'd like to lose a pound a
Pete Cohen 24:36
week I've got 100 pounds to lose. Okay, but one pound, that's going to be that's going to be two years, two years to lose that 100 pounds if you lost a pound a week. Forgive me if I've got the maths wrong. Would you prepare to do that? Let me introduce you to the person that you're going to be in two years time here what it is, is that person, they're going to walk in the room now remember, you're in the experience simulator. You see that person? Wow look at you. Wow, look at well now look at the where where would you be with this? Think of the things where you would be being slimmer, fitter and healthier. Look at that. Well. Who is that person? Let's look at the last W who's that person. Now if you could connect if you're into the experience simulator every single day and connect to that person, because this is where people missed the point. It's not that they forget the goal they just get near sighted by, by goals which give them something quicker right now the question is, do you want to engage your mind into creating a future that you want? Or do you want to let your mind run run away from you from your future self? Because I represent your future self and I'm going to tell you right at the beginning of this song, right at the beginning of this podcast
now this is the Rolling Stones
and I think that's one of the great things that you can't always get what you want. Because imagine if you've got everything you want
let me tell you why so many
Pete Cohen 26:37
people are unhappy right now. And the reason is this that a lot of people think that
natural happiness is getting what you want. And if you don't get what you want, guess what?
Pete Cohen 26:48
You're unhappy. And when we look at the American dream, I never forget being in a taxi going from New York to New Jersey and saying to the taxi driver, tell me about the American dream. And he said to me, the American Dream is a nightmare. And I said what do you mean he goes you've got all these people are chasing something that they're never gonna get. And then you've got all these people that have got what they want and they're not happy. And this is what a lot of people are chasing. They're chasing something I mean, if you look at right now everything you've got in your life, that you've worked hard to get, how much of that is actually making you happy? There's the synthetic happiness synthetic happiness is us chemically making happy happiness by us deciding to be happy. And the fact that you can't always get what you want is really fascinating because how many of us are happier now because of what we've been through. When we see this. I've worked with people that have been in prison. I've worked with people that have been through some incredible hardship people that have been gone through so much trauma, but they're happier because of it because they decided to become happy the crazy thing about being happy is that feeling of contentment. And we're living in a world that says you can't be content. You cannot be content. You need this to be happy, which is where so many people have mismanaged themselves to the point where
they're feeling that they're not quite good enough. How to use your mind to
Pete Cohen 28:10
create what you want is to maybe know that you already have what you want, which is you have yourself but it's learning to accept who you are a little bit more and stepping back from the experience of being new. And seeing that maybe the best thing will ever happen to you is not getting what you want
so you all have aspirations of massive aspirations have huge aspirations in what we've created, right?
So we've created Stop One Start One that many of you know it's a free app you can download. It's absolutely free for two weeks, and then there's a free version. That
Pete Cohen 28:49
app has been specifically created to help people use their minds in the most effective way, which I believe is to identify with the person that you want to be and then go out there and start tracking that person down. It's called a habit tracker so you could stop and start. What is most serving you. My goal is there are millions of people all over the world using it. Now whether that happens or not. I don't really care if it does, it does, but I'm not pinning my happiness on that happening, because I don't have control over it. What I have control over is the process of making that happen. And the synthetic happiness is deciding to be happy on what you're doing. Even if you don't like doing it's just amazing and I'm excited to explore helping more and more people around the world especially younger people realizing that your mind is an asset is an incredible asset. And you can do great things with it to help people stop and look at what they're doing. And we know that most people would prefer an electric shock than actually stopping and spending time with themselves in their own thoughts. We're living in a world that unless we decide to deviate away from it we'll just be victims of it. And I'm just ready in 2023 to go to a place that I've not gone before. Because what's the point of life if you keep going to the same place? It's time for us to use some different senses. Right? We all know the five senses I made some notes about this the other day because I had an epiphany about it. And you can probably hear in the background here. My notes, you know we have the ability to see to hear to smell to taste the touch. And then we hear about the sixth sense which is you know when we can become where become aware of the experience of being us. But I think the seventh sense, is the ability to step back and see the experience of being us.
And I know it's not always easy.
Pete Cohen 31:10
What will be the greatest thing that you ever do? I'd love to see you in December 2023
and see the person that you've become so we've all got starry eyes. I'm seeing stars and for all of you that have listened
to the podcast this year by myself with my friends. Want to thank you because tonight's eco Sweatbox needs to be in fashion.
Pete Cohen 31:52
So what's your biggest takeaway from what you've heard here today? Even in
music, I could do anything
Pete Cohen 31:59
pretty picky sauce because
I walk into a class I want to meet you one day I'm seeing stuff and see some stars
Pete Cohen 32:09
see those stars in your eyes because of the person that you have actually decided to become when you look up at the stars as I've just come back from France and seeing the
stars in a different way. You just realize there's only one thing out there and
Pete Cohen 32:30
that's life. Life is out there. Possibilities are out there. The possibilities are endless. The choices are endless, and less. I think we narrow our choices based on who we actually want to become and committing to that regardless of what goes on. That's what I believe the world is asking us to do, to get better to grow to advance to just be fulfilled by becoming more. I want to thank all of you that have been listening to our podcast this year. I'm extremely grateful. Download the stock one stock one app go to S one S one.me. There is a video on that page, which is 1% of your day. It is 14 minutes and 24 seconds. That is one minute of your day. This podcast has been just over two minutes of your day. And I'm very very grateful that you would spend your time with me spend 14 minutes and 24 seconds looking at that video. And let me share with you how such a simple tool can help you advance to a place that you would never ever been before a great life. It doesn't happen by chance it happens by design. I'll see you next time on the Future Self Podcast.