2 May, 2023The Truth About Goal Setting
“We are kept from our goals not by obstacles but by a clearer path to lesser goals.” – Robert Brault
Teleological, that is what we are. We always do things for a purpose or an aim. We all have big goals that can be deconstructed into smaller goals to make them easier to achieve. However, most of us still fail to accomplish what we have initially set ourselves to do.
Are you one of them? Are you frustrated with your life all because you are part of the 70% who do not attain the set targets?
Tune in and get to know more about setting goals, why you fail to achieve them, and more importantly, how you can overcome the challenges and be someone better.
Create your future now and live the extraordinary life you deserve.
⚡️ People tend to choose the familiar and easy route when they are left to their own devices.
⚡️We allow ourselves to be consumed by things that do not fulfill us at a deeper level because most of us forget the goals that we could achieve.
⚡️Achieving goals requires effort, dedication, and work.
⚡️We have the opportunity each day to start achieving our goals.
⚡️We give up on the things that are important to us because:
1) It is easier to give up on things than do what is required.
2) We want to avoid the pain associated with it.
3) We do not love doing what needs to be done.
4) It is easier to take the familiar path.
5) Most of us have stopped taking control of our lives.
🎯 8:18 Peter Dinklage talks about making decisions in life.
🎯 11:12 Giving in to temptation.
🎯 13:30 Michael Phelps discusses the importance of mini goals.
🎯 17:03 Fantasy Retirement
🎯 21:35 Meet your future self exercise.
Send us a message and tell us what is your biggest takeaway about this episode. 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
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About Pete Cohen: Pete Cohen is one of the world’s leading life coaches and keynote speakers. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world have been motivated and inspired by Pete’s presentations. He has professionally impacted the lives of thousands of people worldwide, including business executives, professional athletes, and everyday people. Pete focuses on the importance of closing the gap in our lives between where we are and where we want to be, both personally and professionally.
It’s then all about coaching you to remove the obstacles that are in your way and helping you install the habits of success.
Pete is the author of 20 published books, several of which have been best-sellers across the world, including Shut the Duck Up, Habit Busting, Life DIY, and Sort Your Life Out. He has also presented his own show on TV called The Coach and was the resident Life Coach on GMTV for 12 years.
Pete Cohen 0:00
Happy beautiful day. It's the future self podcast. It's me, Pete Cohen. Today we're talking about The Truth About Goal Setting. I'll see you after the theme tune.
Pete Cohen 0:36
Happy beautiful day. Thank you so much for joining me for the podcast
Imagine waking up every day and when you got out of bed literally. You heard this voice celebrating. This celebrating your first victory of the den and imagine what you went downstairs. On and on. You drank a glass of water
and then you heard anything. You had a voice in your head that was saying hey, listen, why don't you just go back to bed because listen, you don't have to get up and then but then you decided to not go back to bed and then you kind of heard
and then then you decided you heard a voice in your head that went well hang on. We could go back to bed but no, let's get on our exercise bike that is in the shed. And then you heard another voice is out. No, don't bother doing that. There's no point doing that you don't have just go and sit and watch the news. But but you decided you decided to get on that bike and then literally
and then literally imagine throughout the whole day you heard that voice in your head when you were doing things that were moving you in the direction that you wanted to go would you continue to do it I look for some of you it might drive you completely potty, but for some of you it might be the reminder that you need because ultimately, we are all goal setting creatures. Everything we do as human beings is governed by how we see the future. And the targets that we set ourselves. We are target orientated creatures. We have mentioned this many times on the podcast but perhaps you're listening to this podcast for the first time. We have people listening to this all over the world. And one of the things we all have in common. We are goal orientated creatures. What is a goal? A goal is something that we do that is for an aim. It's for an end it's for a result it is for an outcome, every everything that we do but the fact is, why does so many people not achieve what they want to achieve when they set themselves a goal. I was reading in an article the other day that 20% of people around the world set goals and of those 20% 70% Fail. Now of course, why is that? I think it's really important for us to before we move forwards it's so important for us to stop and so much of the work that we do in helping people create the life they want not by chance, but by designing that life is getting them to stop first before you start doing anything. Because if you start doing something, chances are you're going to start doing something that you've started before and then you stopped and again this is a this is an issue or a challenge or a problem however you choose to look at it that it has been around since the dawn of time since words were first created and obviously was around before that because Sanskrit which was the first written words, they came up with a word that meant people would start and not finish. The challenge we have today for all of us pretty much that are listening to this reimagine is that we have choice. And this is a time of year that for a lot of people the enthusiasm that they had, has waned. It's gone out the back door as that famous saying comes to life that life got in the way. What does that mean? When people say that because obviously it means different things to different people. But for most people, what happens is that with us YaSM goes they start going more into reacting mode dealing with what's urgent, rather than really dealing with what is important because what was important isn't important anymore. And this is one of my favorite quotes. We are kept from our goals, not by obstacles, but by a clearer path. To lesser goals to a clear path to lesser goals. And again I don't know everybody but I would imagine that deep down we know that we have a god we love the out the idea the outcome. We love the idea of being fitter and healthier and having more energy who doesn't want that. Some people obviously don't but most people that's an outcome I would love. An outcome is a goal. How many of us would like better relationships with the people around us how many of us would like to be more successful in our work? And we know that if we want those things, you could achieve them, but it's going to require some dedication. It's going to require some some work. It's going to require some effort. And it's just very easy for us to do a couple of things. And this is so important. If this is the only thing that you take away from this podcast. Please understand, why do we give up on the things that are important to us? Well one, it's just easy. It's just easy to give up on the things that we aren't necessities. You know, exercising every day for most people is not a necessity. And of course if it's not a necessity then why would you keep doing it? So that's one reason it's just easy to give up. The other is that we associate some sort of discomfort to it some sort of pain. And if we associate some sort of pain, even to getting out of bed, well, most people will avoid it. Because of course we have a choice and human beings left to their own devices will tend to choose the easy route. Why? If you have a satellite navigation system, I use something called Waze. Waze is has a brilliant technology. And that technology is literally looking for the easiest route if there's something ahead that is difficult. Well, it will avoid that for me. I don't even have to think about it. That's how a lot of people are living on life. They don't realize that there's a part of them that doesn't want them to do anything that's particularly difficult or painful. But there's another part of you which is hugely important that it doesn't associate with you being the person that has the results that you are looking for. And unless you associate with the person that has the results that you're looking for, it's very unlikely you're going to continue to do it. The other reason is that people often don't is so obviously don't love doing what needs to be done. And if they don't love doing it, why do it. humans tend to do the things they enjoy doing. And then also, my God if you have all of these affecting you then you need to do some work on yourself. You really do. It could be the greatest work of your life. Because what will be the greatest thing you ever do perhaps it will be making a choice. Not even a choice. Doing something that is far more powerful than a choice. I want you to listen to a famous actor who is joining me in the studio right now. He talks about making a decision
Question is Are you ready for the world to be yours? That's Peter drink lead shoe. Many people have seen it in so many films. And there was so much in what he just said there that of course you could apply to your life. For me, it's all about a decision. It's making a decision. People talk about choices. You know, but the problem with the choice is that when you make a choice, you can make another choice. But when you truly make a decision, and that word comes from a French word to de sia it's to cut off from any other alternative. He made the choice to meet his future self to become his future self, that we live in a world where look, it's so easy. It's so easy just to give into temptation. It's so easy to avoid pain. It's so easy to think I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes. It's so easy to stop and then stop or it's so easy to stop something that isn't good for you and then start it again. You know that your attention is being sold to the highest bidder. You know that we're losing people left right and center because people have forgotten what it really feels like to achieve. People have really forgotten what it's like to really advance on the things that really really really matter. And the fact is
we can wait for defining moments in our life every single day. We can wait we can wait we can wait we can wait. We can wait. Because what I see from all the work I've done is that people just missing out on something missing out on the little things that if done every single day, make the biggest difference. Look in my work, work with people from all walks of life. But I've been extremely fortunate to work with people who have just trained for years for one particular event and of course that takes a certain type of dedication. And not everyone wants to do that. But we all could do that in terms of realizing well today is a competitive event tomorrow is a competitive event. I'm I'm competing to be the best person I can be. So how do I become that best person? You really it is I believe about making that decision that regardless of how you feel, making that decision to move your life in the direction that you want to go. Now the most decorated athlete in history is Mark Phelps and he's won 23 gold medals, three silver medals, and two bronze medals. And I never forget really just being fascinated by him because I always believe it's an old adage but you know, success always leaves clues. So if you really want to study success, you can study but you can go and listen to these people you can read but just take a moment to hear what he says right here right now.
And that really is it the greats The question is are you great. Are you dumb? Are you are who you are. And that's it. Are you just going to be like you were a few years ago? Are you ready to show the world that you're not done yet? Human beings are works in progress, who mistakenly think they're complete. And I thought that even at a very young age, I honestly thought I wasn't good enough and deep down. This is who I was always going to be. So I was always looking for something on the outside world. I was always looking for approval. I was always looking for something and even when I got that it really didn't make that much difference. Is it any surprise that in our wonderful world right now we have some pandemics of epic magnitude, pandemics of Anza anxiety, which is often our relationship to the future. pandemics of depression, which is often our relationship to our past that we haven't been able to make sense of our past or we're living in the past living with regret living with fear, living with doubt. Is it any surprise that we have pandemics of cancer, diabetes, and how much of this is literally from people that have stopped taking control of their life and not decided to reinvent ourselves? Now of course this is the Future Self Podcast. And everything about this podcast is designed to give you a different perspective of where you are. And to make you realize that yeah, you have a choice, but you also have a decision. And we know this, this is a message that we have said many times on this podcast, but just because we've said it a few times. Maybe you just need to hear it once more. That when we don't have empathy for ourselves in the future. If you don't know someone, it's very hard to have empathy for them. When you hear someone's story. That's when we watch films. And we look at people who have done great things. We often identify with them and we hear their stories of how they overcome adversity. We have empathy for them. So we want to know more and watch more. That's why we watch your film. If you don't have empathy for the character. Why watch? Do you have empathy, not just for yourself to maybe give yourself a break and realize that this is exactly where you are to wake up to the reality of how you feel about where you are right now. And realize yet you have a choice of who you become. Because one day you are going to meet your future self. Never forget, a few years ago when I was I can't even remember where I was but it was a profound experience in terms of what the person said to me. I told him of this story of we made a TV program called fantasy retirement. And in this TV program, we had three couples and from various backgrounds and we asked them what their fantasy retirement was. So we asked them to think of the future the future they wanted where they wanted to be when they retired. By the way who invented retirement, retirement was invented, I think in something like 1869 in Prussia. Why was it invented? Well, there was too many people are not enough jobs. The King spoke to his counsel. They worked out that life expectancy was 67. They set the retirement age at 65. People would retire at 65 and then they'd have two years often to enjoy their life. And I remember working for a very large company many years ago, and I went in there to do a few days of training on performance and behavior and wellbeing. And on that day I kind of been tricked into this work. But I didn't realize on this day just before I started to work with them, they'd all been told that the retirement they thought they were going to get they weren't going to get what I know about many people that are looking forward to retirement they have huge amounts of empathy for the person they're going to be when they're retiring, because they can see themselves having more freedom, doing more of what they want to do because let's be honest, a lot of people don't enjoy what they do. Looking forward to putting their feet up getting out of bed when they want to playing golf being on holiday, seeing all of these things and then being told that that reality wasn't going to happen. And then I was called in to work with them. I can tell you, that was a difficult gig to get people to be enthusiastic about the future. Because if you're not enthusiastic about the future if you're not hopeful about the future, then it's very easy to be hopeless. It's very easy to give into temptation. It's very easy to feel anxious and depressed. Because most of us, we are forgetting the goals that we could achieve. And we're that word when you being consumed or allowing ourselves to be consumed with things that don't really fulfill us at a deep level. And I'm sure you know what I'm talking about that with this program, fantasy retirement, showed these people it was TV. So we had a budget, one family or a couple they wanted to retire in Miami. So we took them to Miami. Another couple wanted to live in Spain when they retired. We showed them that another couple wanted to live in a nice beautiful place in the UK. We showed it to them. And then guess what we did? We showed them the reality based on how they were currently living their life. And with one couple, we blindfolded them. We took them out of their house. We put them in a car. We drove around for about 1520 minutes. We stopped the car still with their blindfolds on, took them out the car, took him into a building, sat them down and took their blindfolds off. And guess where we showed them? We showed them exactly where they were before because they weren't going anywhere. And I honestly believe that most people do not delusional that everything will be okay. And that's their choice. What I see is most people are living a future they don't want will end up in a place going. This isn't how I thought it was going to end. Really. There's something that is known as a default future, which is our ability, which is a default future, which is the fact that we know that what we're doing is going to lead us to a place we don't want to go. But we don't want to think about it, but we're thinking about it and it's somewhere in our mind, and we know that it's there. I think for a lot of people they just know they could be doing more. Just know. But it's just so easy to dedicate your life to the life that you've had, rather than dedicating your life to a future self. And when I told this person his story of this TV program we made called fantasy retirement. He told me of this exercise and it was so simple. I just hadn't thought of it. He said look what I want you to do. Is it so this is what he does with some of his clients. He said, I get my clients to imagine that they're in a car and they're being driven somewhere and the driver drives for a little while and then stops and says excuse me, you need to get out and if you walk across this concreted area, just keep going. There's someone who wants to meet you. So the person gets out of the car because we've all got an imagination. Of course, none of you are using your imagination. None of you are thinking about this and he goes on walks and then he's walking. He says you're walking your walk and then you see this person in the distance and you think Hang on a second. Who's that person looks a little bit familiar. It looks he's talking is walking very proudly. It looks very confident. Who's that? He says it's you in the future. That is your future self and your future self comes up to you and you stick out your hand to shake that use hand and that you just puts his arms around you and gives you a massive hug and says I've got your back. It's time for you to become me. And what we know is that most people don't have empathy for their future self beyond a few days and weeks and months. And if you don't have empathy for that person, why would you invest? What is the point of exercising? If you don't see where it's going to go? Unless you're one of those very few people around the world. You don't need to know where anything's going. You just enjoy improving. Not even improving. He just liked doing it. But very few people do that. Because everything we do, it's with him what's in it for me. And if you don't see that something's in it for you, then why not just do something that gives you something right here. Right now. And of course, you're choice. See, most people are dedicated to majoring in minor things, dedicated in minor things of whatever those things are. Again, you know what they are. Most people are dedicated to majoring in minor things or they're dedicated to procrastinating making excuses. ruminating, just getting distracted. Just imagine right now, how many people would love you to do what they want you to do? How many people how many people want you to sign up to their cause, buy their book, do all the things that I mean? Like I want you to listen to this podcast. There's lots of things I would like you to do. I'd love you to download our app and get involved and start hunting or tracking or pursuing your future self. I'd love for you to do that. And ultimately, it's up to you.
My goal is that ultimately you realize there are gaps that could be filled, just like on the London Underground station that we have in the UK. Mind which is the announcer that is telling you just be careful there's a gap but doesn't want you to step into it. That you decide to start filling in the gaps you realize you're in the game right now. This is the best place to be and you have the opportunity to do something truly incredible about the same time to realize that every day. Your future self is calling you calling you up you know as your future self is calling you. You know you know what I'm talking about right? And every day there's an opportunity
every day you've got an opportunity to start achieving things every day. But the easiest path to walk is the path that is so familiar to you. So if you really want to set goals and you want to achieve goals, build a relationship to your future self your future self is talking to you think of me like a lawyer that has come from your future self saying hey, listen Listen people. What What will your future self is talking to you? Your future self wants you to make some progress with your health and energy. Your future self wants you to make progress with your relationships your future self wants you to make progress with your message to the world your gift what you want to create your wealth, your work your service. That's what your future self wants, what is going to be the greatest thing that you ever do. Is it possible that the greatest thing that you will ever do in your life will be to become that person? And what's crazy is that if you want to believe in that person all you got to do is evidence so if you really want to believe it's those little things, those dedications.
The question is are you ready?
So what's the greatest belief you can have? Well, that's up to you to decide. The greatest belief I have is the best is yet to come. I believe in my future self.
So just imagine that right now. Your future self is calling you. About is calling you or is calling you on two phones.
Imagine you picked up the phone and your future self. What would you say to you? Thank you so much for picking up the phone. Listen, do me a favor, right? Please stop listening to that other voice. The voice that tells you to stop doing stuff the voice that says it's not worth it. That voice that says you're not good enough. That voice is always going to be there but what you need to understand about that voice because I know that voice isn't listening right now. But what that that voice is just scrolling on the internet right now looking at social media, right? But really all that you was trying to do is trying to protect you what it's trying to do. It doesn't want you to get exposed. It just wants you to be be who you've been being. But let's start taking daily action. Let's start feeling good about what we're doing every single day because if we do that, no one's going to happen because I am your future self and I will guide you every single step of the way we can start to
thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I wonder what your biggest takeaway was from what you've heard here today. For me, it all revolves a one on one thing, it's about choices. There are way too many choices out there. It's time for us to make a decision on the person that we want to become. And if you truly want to do that I can help you everything that we do all of the material that we put out. It is designed to help people close those gaps between where they are and where they want to be. So wherever you are in the world listening to this podcast, reach out to us and tell us however you want to do that. That's your biggest takeaway from what you just heard. What are you going to do? On the back of what you've just heard? You can contact us in multiple ways you can send us messages on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, if where there's a will there's a way where there's a will, there's a future self talking to you. Let's get ready to rumble. We'll see you next time.