10 Jan, 2023

Pete Cohen  0:00

Happy beautiful, amazing day. It's Pete Cohen. It's the Future Self Podcast. today's podcast is called the new science of success. 23 Ways To Make 2023 Your Best Year Yet. I'll see you after the theme tune

Hey, happy, beautiful day. Happy beautiful, new year. Happy beautiful life. Happy, beautiful, amazing day. I don't know how many times I've said that. Do you know where it comes from? Happy beautiful day. That probably came from one of the most difficult and challenging times in my life, where I met one of the most incredible doctors in the world. Dr. Bob Rakowski in Houston, Texas. And it's fascinating that I say this because our podcast now is officially seven years old. And the first podcast ever did was was with was was was with Dr. Rakowski. And when I first met him, I never forget because I had a camera in my hand and I was with my wife who really hadn't been given very long to live and we met this guy in Houston, Texas, and when he came in the room to greet us, he went Happy, happy, beautiful day. And I had no idea that those words would change the life of so many people because so many people I know today also say Happy Beautiful day or have their own variation on it. And it's amazing what can happen when you string a whole load of happy beautiful days together. And I think it's really important for us to think about what is a beautiful day what is a great day, what is a great week, what is a great month what is a great life, because what we're about to do is we're about to dive into 23 ways to make 2023 your best year yet to make it. Fantastic. Everything I do is about helping people have a fantastic life. But I think a lot of people perhaps that's not for them. If you've got something to say in this world and you've got a message or you've got a product or a service and you're going to tell the world about it. Well, you probably realize that not everyone is going to be interested in what you have to say. Ultimately, what I'm interested in and this really is for you, if you want to do what I believe is the greatest thing you will ever do in your life, which is to re invent yourself to be able to look in the mirror and rather look at Oh my God, look what's happened to me. How did this happen to look at yourself in the mirror and go be proud of the person that you have become? And if you stopped before you really got stuck into this year. And you look back over last year well well done for making it because I bet it wasn't easy. I bet it wasn't always sunshine and rainbows. I bet it's had its challenges. And if you look back, what what's one thing that you wished you would have done? What's one thing that if you had started it, this time last year and you've done it every day or most days? For a year? Who would you be now? And what's one thing that you would have stopped doing last year that if you stopped doing it I don't know getting distracted making excuses, starting things and not stopping them? Who would you be today and again, it's important I believe to you know to stop with our app Stop One Start One. We originally called it Start One Stop One. And we then changed because we thought no hang on. The most important thing to do before you start anything is to stop to stop and look at where you are. You know you can judge and criticize and blame and shame but I don't think that's where the magic is you. easy for us to do that in a world where it's much easier to compare ourselves to others or compare ourselves to our former self, rather than comparing ourselves to the person that we are committed to becoming a let me ask you the question, Who are you committed to becoming? Because I know you're committed to becoming who you're committed to being today. If I asked you what you're doing today, you probably know who that person is. If I said what are you doing next week again, you probably got an idea. You're committed to that person. You're committed to your job, you're committed to your family, but how committed are you becoming the best version of you now? I don't even like those words. I feel so cheesy when I say those words, the best version of you because I've been saying it for years and loads of other people are saying it at this point in time and they're trying to convince you that what they have is what you need. Whereas I'm maybe coming at this from a different point of view. I might be what you need. But really what you need first and foremost is to build a compelling relationship to your future and I think when you think about your future, the most important thing is your future self. Who is that person? So let's get stuck. And we've got 23 ways to really look at how to make this year the best year yet and so much of what I'm saying it really taps into some of the science the new science of of psychology and neuroscience even though some of this is such common sense. And it's been known about for 1000s of years. I think it's only now that we're really waking up. And I'd love to wake you up right now. So are you ready? If you're ready, just say you're ready. Good. I can hear you because this is the eighth year of the future self podcast and I'm ready to take this to the next level with you. So step number one is Stop. Just stop and listen to what I'm about to say. I don't know whether you can hear the clock. Backwards background. clock has been in my family since 1900. It's taken away. I think one of the greatest things we own is our attention is our time. It's our space. And we know that right now our attention is being sold. It's being sold. People are mining your attention and trying to take you away from just stopping. That's the way social media has been set up. I think there's a few pandemics going on in the world. The first level is just stop Stop, stop, stop. Let's not analyze judge criticize blame or shame. Let's just look at how we are where we are right now and wake up to the game that we're playing. Right now. Not only are people are mining for your attention, but there's a part of you that probably doesn't want you to be here and is already looking for something else is looking for stimulation is looking for gratification. It's looking for something it's looking for a hit of dopamine and all I ask you to do is to stop and give me your full attention for like 20 minutes, or let's say 14 minutes and 24 seconds. That's 1% of your day. Just listen to what I'm going to say just stop and the first step is to stop. Stop, stop. Take a breath you might be doing something else while you're listening. And that's okay. Just recognize that one of the hardest things to do in this life right now is just to stop the way you are just for a moment. And let's consider looking at the world with a fresh pair of eyes. Why? Because we know that people don't change when we tell them what to do. Not real change. Real deep change happens when, when it's when our perspective changes. And our perspective can change by listening to someone else's story or having an experience ourself and through going through that experience all of a sudden the world is not the same. And you can either be waiting for the next disaster, the next prognosis, the next catastrophe, the next crisis to change your life. And that's when we often see the best in people. But you know when I think we really see the best in people, we see a future that we want to go out and create when we see a future self that we want to go out and become. That's what Ghandi was talking about all of those years ago to be the change that you want to see in this world. To become that change, or greater thing will ever be in this life than the person that you choose to become.

What do you reckon? So when we look at these different steps, let's start off with step number always looked at step number one, which is just stop, take a moment to stop to unplug to be with me here. Give me your attention for a few minutes. While we consider a different perspective. Step number two is look forget a resolution forget them. We all know that this is a time of year when people set new year's resolutions and we all know if you if I was a bookmaker and you came to me and you said hey, I want to put money on myself writing this book this year. I want to put money on myself losing 20 kilograms Pete I want to put money on my cell phone with me improving my relationship with my wife, right? I'm going to say okay, fine. So what am I going to do? I'm gonna look at your history. Right? I can't look at you look into the future for you because I can't. You probably don't even know what that future is. You're coming to me. You've got a problem and you want to move away from the problem. You probably don't actually really know what you want, you know what you don't want but I'll look at your form. And I'll probably then say well, okay, I'll give you 1000 to one because history has a pattern of repeating itself. Why? Because people have resolutions doesn't have to be at the beginning of the year. But the word resolution really what it means is it's when one part goes up against another part and which part wins? Well if you look at your history will know that one part of you wants to do one thing and another part of you doesn't one part of you wants to get out of bed another part if he doesn't. One part of you wants to get to the gym to exercise another part of you doesn't, which part wins? Well, it's pretty obvious it's the one we pay most attention to. Right? It's obvious, isn't it? It's the one we listen to the most. It's the voice of some people call it reason or doubt some people call it the chimp. Some people call it part x the shadow. I call it the duck, the part of you that just wants you to stay where you are. That wants you to be who you've practice being. And everyday, most people wake up every day, and they re re recreate who they've always been. And one of the things I'm very well known for saying In fact, I've been quoted in other people's books. Not that I was the first person to say this, but if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. What's the greatest thing you will ever do is to have a revolution and that's step number three, step number three, Rev. volution. What's a revolution? A revolution is an overthrow. It's an overthrow, it's taking something out, and it's putting it aside to the point where it never existed. And I've seen people do this. It was 20 years ago that habit busting came out and fear busting came out a year later. Those books were based on the work that I had done to help people overcome their fears and break habits. And I saw people do incredible things. I saw people who could, through my help, could literally get to the point quite quickly, where they were disgusted by smoking. I used to smoke it was almost like they had a revolution. So they didn't identify with the person who smoked. Remember one particular woman she used to smoke 40 a day. And then I saw her a few weeks after working with her. I said Is it difficult? She goes no, because in my mind I've never smoked because of the person I'm committed to becoming a my future self. never smoked. So why would I smoke now? And you see the power that is within people. So I want to ask you if you want a revolution, what do you want to leave behind? I think the greatest revolution is to form a very strong relationship to your future self, your hero, the person that you're becoming. Because it's not that the little other voice is never going to be there. It's always going to be the voice of doubt the voice of whatever don't do that. I don't feel like it. But when you have a revolution is who's got the power. Who has got the real power to me, that's a real revolution. But no one can put this better than Matthew McDonough, who won an Oscar in 2013 when he talks about his hero, and this is what I'd like to help you to have a revolution so you're committed to becoming your future self

Matthew McConaughey  13:46

and to my hero. That's who I chase. Now, when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person, my life come to me and say who's your hero? And I said, I don't know. I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks. I come back two weeks later, this person comes and says, who's your hero? I said I thought about it. You know who it is. I said it's me in 10 years. So I turned 2510 years later, that same person comes to me and goes so are your hero. And I was like, not even close. No, no, no. She said why? I said because my heroes me at 35 So you see every day every week every month and every year in my life. My heroes always 10 years away. I'm never going to be my hero. I'm not going to attain that I know I'm not and that's just fine with me because that keeps me was somebody that keep on chasing. So any of us whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to whatever it is we look forward to and whoever it is we're chasing to that is Amen. To that I say all right, all right. All right.

Pete Cohen  14:43

You know, and what's great about him is he's fully committed to the person that he wants to become and he's always chasing that person who are you chasing? Most people are chasing their tail. Most people are chasing their immediate battles. Most people are chasing their former self. And if you're ready for a revolution, let's go to step number four. Which is to create a new identity. And that's what Matthew McConaughey is talking about. I'm not a big fan of personality testing. I'm not. I don't know, when you really delve into personality testing. You see that it's really not based on anything really concrete. Of course there's something in it but I'd say your personality is what you're saying yes to in your life. And if you look at right now what you're saying yes to Well, look at your gut. First off, look at your belly, I don't know look at your finances, and you can judge you can blame you can criticize and that's a terrible habit that people have. I think people often will behave in a way that gives them an excuse to give themselves a hard time. It gives them an excuse in many cases to carry on behaving the way that they want to. I think most people today are living a future they don't want and maybe that's because they don't know better. And I want to work with those people. I'm the people's coach because sometimes when people don't know better and then when they do no better sometimes they start to do better. That's what Dr. Phil said, who I used to watch on that went on The Oprah Winfrey Show. And Oprah has done so much to bring personal development to the masses, but development of what the greatest development surely has to be who you're going to create. Not what you're going to have. I mean, what you have might be nice. There's this thing called hedonic adaptation, which is you can have things I remember getting a Porsche 911 And I thought it would be the best thing ever within a few days. I was it was bored. It didn't give me what I thought it would give me. Not that there's anything wrong with the attainment of things but I think the greatest achievement is the sense of fulfillment and becoming and what you're creating what you're building. I think that it's time for us to wake up to our personality is really what we're saying yes to which relates to our identity, which is the story that we're telling ourselves, can you create a new identity apps, frickin lewdly you are not who you were. Come on, stop, look back and realize who you are to now right now and everything you've done and everything you've been through. Wow. I mean, even to be listening to this for the last 15 minutes. That's over 1% of your day. I think that's a major achievement. Most people couldn't do this in the world today. They'd just be distracted, they'd have to go away. But what else have you been through? What's the pain and the suffering that you have? You've got to this you've got through something. Maybe you still need to do some work on yourself. Maybe you need to go back and and talk to someone about how you're feeling about where you are right now. But I want to commend you for being at this point and being in the game. You know, the game of snakes and ladders, you know where that comes from? It comes from India. And it was a game that was taught to teach people about the rights and the wrongs in life. Life is a game. It's a game. That's how I look at it. And maybe it's time for us to stop and look at the game and think well can I actually have can I be different in this game? Well, you can choose the game that you're playing. And you could do something amazing. You could reinvent yourself and I think I'm one of the best people in the world at helping people create the life they want not by chance, but by design. When you look in the mirror and you think what do you see do you see the potential? Or do you see the problem? You see the problem? Do you see the solution? The solution I think is to get to know the person you want to become unlike a lawyer who is from your future has come to you and I know your future self. I've met them I've spent time I hang out with your future self because your future self is amazing. Your future self is wiser than you your future self is more courageous than you and I'm like the lawyer that's just come from your future self saying hey, excuse me. Listen, your future self has been talking to you. It's like a whisper. You're not really paying attention. You're just paying attention to a former version of yourself. And unless you start listening to your future self, you're going to create a future that you don't want. 97.3% of Americans are unhealthy by for basic measures. How many of those people doing it willingly? Or how many of them will end up in a place going oh my god, we have pandemics of epic proportions around the world. But we thought about the pandemic of of COVID I don't mean to laugh about it. The only reason I laugh about it is because I think people are living in a false reality of not realizing we're living in a pandemic of anxiety depression, diabetes, cancer, political polarity, social injustice, war. mean you know there have been wars been going on since the beginning of time. But is it not time for us to wake up and look at the game that we're playing and realize what's the greatest thing we will ever do? I think it's the person we become right? God we're only at step number four was step number five. Step number five is to identify with the person that you want. To become identify with that person. And then do something to how hershfield talks about Have a listen to this for a second.

Unknown Speaker  19:40

Think about the future self as another person. But if you stop and take that notion seriously, I think it really helps explain why so many of us privileged today, over tomorrow. Think about how we treat other people. If we care for them. If we feel a sense of connection toward them. We will make sacrifices for them just like we do for our children, our aging parents and theoretically our spouses and the same can be said for our future selves. If we feel a sense of connection to our future selves. We're going to make sacrifices today so that they have a better life in the distant future.

Pete Cohen  20:17

So how Hirschfeld is a professor of marketing. He's one of the people I listened to everything he speaks about future self and if you hear what he said, he says, If you don't see your future self as someone who's separate to you, then you might as well forget it, that your future self isn't you you could become that person. And that's step number five is to identify with that person and then act in accordance to that person. This is the rewriting of your own history. Rather than doing what so many people do around the world, which is they live their life based on how they feel right? When in your life has suddenly been so important that how you felt had absolutely no significance whatsoever. When in your life did something happen? And it's like it didn't matter because someone was screaming or shouting or there was an accident. Something happened and how you felt was just not on the table. You just You weren't even aware of how you felt because you had to act. You had to act and if you're living your life by picture these letters, f i AF feelings, actions, identity most people they live their life based on how they feel their actions are dictated by how they feel and that becomes their identity. If you really want to change your life, identify with who Simon Sinek talks about why he talks about that being your compass. I think it's nonsense. I've met so many people that have got great wise, they don't do anything. Because they're still telling themselves the same old story. They're still battling with themselves. They have not connected with their future self. They have not connected with their genius. They talk a good game, but they're not out there. Actually doing taking the action. I love Simon Sinek I love his work. And maybe when he's taught me I've read pretty much everything he's put into the world and I've listened to him. He talks about why having a big why is fantastic. Lovely. It's a lovely idea. But if you want to ground it into some sort of reality, know who the person is that has bought your why to life. identify with that person. Carve out that person, someone sent me a picture of someone who's chiseling out themselves into a fit body and you can see their upper body is chiseled and their bottom path is fat and they've got a chisel and they're chiseling away at that fat. That's what I think life really is about. It's about get reading, get rid of what doesn't need to be there, stop it, get rid of it, and start to do the greatest work of your life which for a lot of people is boring. It's mundane, but it leads to the sublime. The greatest work of our life is the work that we've done over an extended period of time. Step number five, identify with who you want to be identify with who you want to be in the three life domains. What are the three life domains think Tony Robbins calls them categories of improvement, Stephen Covey calls it I can't even remember. It will come to me in a minute categories of improvement areas of our life that we want to improve. And I would call this the big three your health and energy. Right if I could wave a magic wand How many of you would want better health and energy? Can you be bothered to do the work? No, because you probably just don't feel like it. What about your relationships with me? That's one of the hardest things did work on? Because with my wife, which is that the second most important relationship the first most important relationship is the one I have with myself. That's hard. I find it hard I don't find it easy. To make my relate my relationship with her is a direct correlation with the relationship I have with myself. I'm being good with her and kind and a good husband. I know that I'm making advancements in my life because my life isn't just about my health and my energy. It's not just about my relationships. It's about my wealth, work and finances. It's about those big three. And those are the areas that I'm committed to improving. But listen, let me ask you how well do you know those were three different people are you at your best with your health and your energy? Who's that person? It isn't you? It's not you and if it was you and what's your drive to keep going? In many people have resigned to the fact that that's it that they can't get any healthier. Can you believe that? I mean, and maybe some people maybe we're more we have more of an advantage. We're luckier you know, some people don't have what we have. And maybe you're in a difficult spot right now, but he's still here. He's still in the game. What's the point of life if he can't improve? So when we identify with the person we want to be who is the person you'd like to be with your health, your energy relationships, who is the person you want to be with your with the three different areas in your life and how could you start acting in accordance to that person and let the feelings come as a result of that? That's why Stop One Start One is such an amazing tool for people to start carving out the greatest work of their life. I'd love to see you in December 2023. And we look at you and we think look at you. Look at who you've become. What's step number six. Step number six is, the worse you feel more committed you become imagine that the worst you felt, the less likely you felt doing anything the more committed you were. I mean, isn't that not one of the greatest feelings how many times in your life if you've done something you didn't feel like doing it and you did it? And you thought, wow, look what I did. You tied it up, fix something and mended something you've got in the garden. You made those phone calls you did the paperwork. The kitchen was in a messy cleaned it up how much better did you feel? You? You exercise then you didn't feel like it? At that wonderful sense of achievement. I don't know too many better feelings than that. Worse you feel imagine? Worse you felt the more committed you were to what? The more committed you were to becoming the person that you want to become what's step number seven. It's to recognize the power of resistance. Resistance is to be human. I'm looking at my notes here because I wrote this the other day I was just on a roll. Resist the resistance is our tendency to yield to procrastination, self doubt, fear and patient self inflation, distraction, laziness, arrogance, complacency, perfectionism. It's our inability to focus. It's our inability and capacity to press on through adversity. It's our terror efficient of finishing. It's our worries about exposing ourselves to the world. We have to know that resistance is human. We have to know that everything that grows goes up against resistance. We know that just check everything out right now that's growing. There's resistance. And the greatest resistance is our former self. How do you overcome your former self? The strong, powerful, compelling relationship with your future self? And then step number eight, go public, go public. Go on. Go public. Tell people. This is a real game changer. When you start to tell people who you're committed to becoming. Watch out. Watch out because a lot of people will go well, what are you doing that for? Be careful actually, if you are going to do this because someone who's married to you might want to leave you because when they know that you're not happy with who you are, and the fact that maybe you want to become better. You're gonna find out who's got your back said he's someone who's got your back to me. A way you are in the world listening to this right now, but I've got your back. I probably believe in you more than you believe in yourself. I have seen what people can do. I've seen it I've seen people do the most incredible things that you couldn't even make up. I've seen people overcome fears. I've worked with people. One woman who hadn't been outside her house for 25 years. She was so agoraphobic, I worked with a woman who wouldn't ever get across a bridge. I've worked because she was so frightened of heights. I've seen people cross the Atlantic, you know on a boat on their own I've seen people. Beings are incredible. And I understand now what Maslow said about what man can be he must be to actualize what he meant is to to realize the potential that you have and then he then set to transcend that to go beyond that. If you don't go public and you keep it all to yourself, you don't breathe life into it. And that is the difference. It's the it's the ability to go public. It's the ability to have something in front of you. You're excited you want to go out and create. Step number nine is to celebrate. We all know the power of gratitude. We've all heard about it, be grateful. There's actually I've done a podcast on this before around, you know, gratitude 3.0 Which is where you you're grateful for what you've done in the future, to today. is about being thankful for something. But Step number nine is to celebrate man, celebrate. People massively overestimate individual events in their life, like their wedding, for example. Rather than really underestimating getting married every single day, by telling your partner you love them or giving them a hug or just celebrate all of the little things we massively underestimate the power of small significant, significant things that if done over a period of time, great things happen. What's step number 10 was so obvious that most people will miss it. What's the most powerful force in the universe? What would you say it was? I would say the most powerful force in the universe is love. Right? All You Need Is Love. What do you reckon? The most powerful force in the universe? And this might, this might seem really strange to say this to you? But

if you don't love what you're doing, again, your graduate or graduate you do, I don't really like it. And I've said this to so many people around you know, when I was a personal trainer, I used to push people harder than they would be that on that when they were on their own and then I'd see them on their own and many times they would go through the motions and I've had personal training before in my life as well. And again, it was it was the same thing. Isn't that fascinating? Why do we only put minimum effort into things? I remember teaching aerobics and looking at the people in the in the class and realizing no one was doing as big of movements as I was. And that's because I think there's a lot of fear because you've got to make the choice, fear or love. Actually, Dhaba volsky said that to me, a woman who massively changed my life. If you Google draw your future, you'll see Patti, boy, does her work. impact my life. My wife's life and many of you who listened to this podcast, make the choice. Love it. Even love it if it's painful or difficult. Love it. Love the meditation, love the keeping of the journal. Love it. Love it. If you don't love it. You won't continue it will at least learn to love what's step number level 11 is to win this the first time we're talking about when there's two wins. What is win? Well to win if you look at the real meaning of the word win is fascinating what it means it's absolutely fascinating. It means to strive and struggle. Winning is not a destination. It's not a destination. You know winning is a striving and struggling What are you striving and struggling towards? Because a life of no striving and struggling it's like my friend said to me the other day, you know, 2022 was a tough, challenging year. But it was also one of the best years of my life. And my friend said to me, you know, life is like surfing. That's what life is, you know, you surf a wave and there's forces acting against you. You have to control your own sense of self your own balance, but you're gonna get knocked over. And it's just a question of how quickly can you get back up because you're going to strive and struggling what you striving and struggling to do in a world that says, you don't need to do that. Just sit down. Everything's coming to you. Just live a life of comfort. I don't want to live a life of comfort. I'll be comfortable when I'm dead, right personally, but between now and then. I want to strive and struggle towards something. Why do I want to strive and struggling towards getting better about you, about you? It's a big question. And if you if you're thinking to yourself, well, I don't know that's okay. That's okay. Okay, just to stop I'm so intense with this work, but sometimes it's like peak made seriously give me a rest. I just need to think this one through for a second. Can I have a moment to breathe? Yep, no problem when you've had a breathe and you've had to think, what are you striving and struggling to do? Because I'm here every single day to help people build a compelling relationship to the future to have hope. Whether it's Viktor Frankl who was a prisoner of war in three different concentration camps, his whole theory around Man's Search for Meaning. Meaning is where I believe there's something in front of you of hope that this way you see a better future than where you are right now without hope. It's like without love, there's fear without hope it's hopeless. What are you striving and struggling towards? Step number 12. All of these are hugely important. Step number 12 is to commit to your future self. Obviously, this is a time of year when people think about goals and then they write the goals down and don't even look at them again. It's like, look at it every day if you want to if you want to. You don't have to do you don't have to do anything. There's Jim Rohn said it's all about choice. The choices we make they add up, but it's not just committing it's recommitting. And I recommit every single day to who I'm committed to becoming. And that's why I think I'm better than ever. 52 years old. I'm ready. I'm ready. What about you? I'm ready to do the greatest work of my life. Step number 13 is to journal I mean journaling might not be for everybody. But journaling for me is just a way of recording the journey. Because we don't learn from experience we only learn from reflection on experience. And we have a journal that's a part of the stock one stock one which you can download which is free for two weeks and then there's a free version and a paid version as you do the greatest work of your life. But you see there's a journal where we ask you some challenging questions. Because I think everyone needs a bit of coaching. You can also write letters to your future self and you can they can be emailed to you in the future. It's like like this perfect solution, but it still requires you to do work. Step number 14 is to win again. But this time when is What's important now is to every day what's important now I watch myself very closely, because I can get distracted so easily I was diagnosed with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder. I have to be vigilant with myself most of the time, not all the time. Sometimes I just like to forget everything and just go with the flow and just have fun in the moment without having everything laid out in the plan but most of my time is in my life is dedicated to zones, the zones of where I did work, but I have to realize what's important now. Step number 15 is that there are three questions and if this is the only thing that you take away from today, I think your life could be so much better. It's every day you know what went well? needs work. What are you going to do to get better? Again, that might not be for everybody, nothing is for everybody. But I believe those three questions are hugely important. Step number 16 is to never miss a day. And it was 20 years ago or 21 years ago, I wrote the book habit busting and if I knew then what I know now God, imagine if you were that person. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now imagine if you could go back in time, what would you do differently? A very challenging conversation with a friend of mine yesterday about a situation that she finds herself in and she was so wish I could go back in time. And if I knew then what I know now we still have a chance we've still got an opportunity. And step number 16 is to never miss a day. Now there's something now known as habit suicide. Many of you have heard me talk about this before but if you want to kill a habit, then do it for a while and then stop doing it for a day, maybe two days. But after three days, the science is pretty unequivocal about this. It's like it's almost like starting again, you've killed it. And that again is where the worse you feel, the more committed you should be to your practice. Step number 17 is whoop. We've done podcasts. On this before it's the you know, it's really is the science of creative visualization of goal setting. Whoop. W O P This was designed by Gabrielle oetjen is one of the most well known people in the world of goal setting goal setting is hugely powerful because we are goal orientated creatures right everything we do is for outcomes. It's for aims, everything, everything go to the fridge, what are you going to the fridge for? There's something you want turn on Netflix, scroll on the internet, go and exercise. There's something you want. We are wanting creatures everything we do our brain wants and our brain used to be able to tell our body what to do but these days, our body, which is where we feel tells our brain what to do. And unless we learn how to think greater than we feel, and that's what whoop is all about what's the wish. What do you wish for? What do you wish for? What do you wish for with with your life? Your health? What do you wish for? What do you wish for with your relationship? What do you wish for with your wealth and your work? What's the wish? What's the outcome? Outcomes? I mean, that's where we get specific. What specific outcomes are you looking for? Is that a certain amount of money a month in your business? Is that a book that you've written? That's where we think about the result. We should get a good feeling about that. But that's where often people stop and it doesn't bring a necessity to act. Just brings about happy lovely feeling. Oh, that'd be lovely. I put my vision board up there. Oh, that looks so sweet. Oh, look at that. Oh, yeah, I've got the yacht there. It's lovely. I've got the house in Spain. We made a TV program many years ago called fantasy retirement. And we asked people what their fantasy retirement was three couples and then we showed them we took them to their fantasy which one was living in Miami. We took them there. It's amazing. But then we showed them their reality based on what they were currently doing. And one of the couples we blindfolded them, took them out the house, took them in the car, drove them around for a little while, then took them out the car, took them into a house, sat them down to the blindfolds off. Guess where they were exactly where they were before. And we were trying to make the point of false optimism living in a fantasy world. You know, everything's going to be alright. I don't think it is. I think everything is going to be alright. I think everything's going to be pretty difficult and challenging. To me. That's life. Moving through the seasons. It's the Oh, it's the second row and whoop, what's the obstacles? Mostly obstacles that could hold you back. We use whoop for everything we do. Everything. The wishes, the obstacle, what's the outcomes? What's the obstacles? What's the biggest obstacle for people? What's the plan? The P in the work to overcome the obstacle? The biggest obstacle for most people is

I don't feel like it. How do you overcome that? Well, you have to make commitments. You have to have non negotiables. I mean, this is all quite dulled for a lot of people but it's the greatest work of your life. We aren't designed to live in this world, which we're doing the best that we can we are not designed to living in a world that rich er attention is being sold. We're living in a world where it's no measure. I wrote this down this morning. It's no measure of of well being to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Society is profoundly sick. And we can be kind of well adjusted to that. I don't want to be well adjusted to it. I want to be incredible. I want to be fantastic about you. That number 18 Is the compounding effect. I mean, look again, I wrote this down the other day, some of my favorite figures. As I scroll back and you can hear my my notes in the background. Things if I can find it. That's the only thing. The compounding effect is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. What is compounding? Well, look, the best way for me to explain this to you. As I've said many times on this podcast. Look, I'll give you 5 million pounds in cash right now. Or I'll give you one p and we'll double that one P every day for a month. Which one do you want? Right most people would forget Okay, give me 5 million. If you did want the 30 days doubling Penny then you don't want it for 30 days on 28 days. Actually 30 days you wouldn't you probably would say days because you'd still get 5,000,360 1709 and 12 pounds 12 P. You see one p is I'll give you one P today the two p then four P then eight p and and 16 P then 32. After two weeks, you'd only have 163 pounds and 84 Pence you'd be going Pete Why didn't I take the 5 million. That's why most people give up why they don't feel like it. If you compound something and you keep going that one pound 63 and 84 Pence could become on two weeks later 30 Sorry 10,733,418 pounds and 24 Pence What do you want to compound number 19 is and that's why we built stock one stock one one of the key reasons help you identify with the person you want to be and start paying, investing into that person by what you start and what you stop. You've all heard of the story of a plane that it could be one degree off and he's going to London to New York, it could end up and end up in bloody Timbuktu and that's what's happened for most of us. We don't realize that the things that there are many things that are just taking us off track. If we can bring stops that bring us back into alignment with where we're going with our compass of who we're going to be and start to behave in a way that is in keeping with that person and compound that over time. You'll be unrecognizable through choice, as opposed to just reacting. Step number 19 is to build willpower, willpower. A lot of people think that environment Trump's willpower, look, environment is hugely important. You definitely want to be in an environment that supports you. But sometimes it does. It's difficult. To find people that are going to support you. Challenge with willpower. Willpower is self control is the queen of all virtues, your ability to say yes or no to things or ability to delay gratification. But ultimately, the challenge with willpower is most of the things we need most of the things that give us willpower because willpower to do get a good night's sleep. I wear my aura ring, which shows my sleep because I'm so dedicated to improving my sleep because last year it wasn't good. And already last night I had seven hours and 34 minutes in bed my sleep score is 84 I had 22% of REM sleep but 16% deep sleep. I want to improve it prepared to do the work and most people don't want to do that which is fine. But what about you don't have to wear an aura ring. You can just make sleep a priority but realize by doing that you have more willpower. If you exercise most people need willpower to get themselves to exercise we've got to get in the game. Quick fast get the activation energy going. It takes 212 degrees for water to boil it takes 451 degrees to start a fire. Not 450 not 211 It's to get that activation going. Step number 20 is get yourself a coach. Get yourself or coach someone who can coach you. And with me that look there's an entry to work at a free entry entry. Entry zero is Look we have a podcast that you're listening to we have so much content we got a YouTube channel, the rooms on clubhouse that we do. There's so much content but just say to Mike Pete Cohen is my coach is coaching me. Pete Cohen has coached world champions in sport. He's coached executives he's coached everyday people just like you and me and my coach. I'm down with his material. I'm down with what he's doing. Got a coach and you can tell the world that if you want to have to pay me a penny, you're just paying with your attention, your effort that please whatever you consume, reflect on it. Bring it into play as best as you can. The next level to working with me it's just a Stop One Start One app, which is free for two weeks. And then after that there's a paid version, but there's still a free version. And you have access to create identity capital to carve away and chip away at bringing your best self into this world is unbelievable. It's revolution in the life of so many people. And I truly believe it could revolutionize your life as well. It's not the answer. You are the answer. And then Step number two is our elite program. And if that's something that interests you just reach out to us. You know, you have access to our 10 master classes. This is the stuff I believe everybody really needs to delve into delve into the master classes of willpower and competence and mind mindfulness and breaking habits and upgrading your life. And the idea here is that you have one year to go through these master classes and graduate get on a call with me a coaching call with me because once you've done that what's next? whatever level you're at, I'm here to help whether it's me that's helping you or it's somebody else. Everybody this is an adventure your life is an adventure, right? You know that I know that it's an adventure. Where are we going? Most people don't know. In most heroes in the films every film has four characters, right? A hero, a villain, victim and a guide. The guide is the coach the guide is the mentor. Everybody needs help. Maybe that's me and maybe it's someone else. Step number 21 is have non negotiables non negotiables I promise you the power of this is just me it could be one non negotiable. And my now my number one non negotiable is sleep. I last year I'd say it wasn't sleep it was exercise. But I realized I'd be a fool if I kept doing that. Because I could sleep my sleep was suffering. I don't want it to suffer. There's no question that sleep is so important to have non negotiables even if it's just one that someone could pay you to try and not do it and you'd say no, no, no, you can't pay me to not do it. too important. Step number 22 is just know that this is gonna be a tough ride. But if you love it, and you apply what we've said here, if you love it, it'll be a lot easier for you easier. Step number 23. Just recognize the power of action. Recognize the power of movement, life is motion isn't stagnant. People talk about mindfulness and meditation. That's restorative that's kind of going deep within to your subconscious. But even when you do that, which is a fantastic practice to do. Life is still moving. And I think unless we decide to take ownership for who we're moving into, or where we going, we become victims. We just react. If that's what you want to do, it's up to you. I genuinely appreciate you taking the time. To listen for 47 minutes. My God, what are we doing? Surely we've got something better to do. I'm just looking forward to working with you and in listening to this podcast. Reach out to us. That that's on Instagram, however you choose. You'll find a way to reach out to us but go to S one S one.me S one the number one S one S one.me Invest 14 minutes and 24 seconds. Watch the video on that page as we talk about future self then bit more depth playing paying identity capital and the starting and the stopping of behavior. I really wish that 2023 is a great year for you. I'll be here in 2024 and you'll be maybe listening to this and 2024 Maybe by that time you and I've already gotten a call. We've talked that the work that you did. Super proud of you. Thank you so much. For listening. You guys are amazing. 23 ways to make 2023 your best year yet. Take care and happy beautiful day. greater things that are stuck in some other way. By the way, that's that's a phone call. That’s your future self is calling. Pick up the phone, it’s your future self. Happy beautiful day